Lachapek
This user is a student editor in Oregon_State_University/HST_310_The_Historian's_Craft_(Winter_2020) . |
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editHello, Lachapek, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with Wiki Education; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:59, 12 February 2020 (UTC)
Prof. Smith comments on first draft of Wikipedia article
editHi Kalib,
This is generally a very thorough and interesting article. I was especially intrigued by the demand to allow African Americans into the Republican Party. That is unusual before the Civil War!
There are a few things I would like to see you tackle for the final version of the article. 1)I think the lead needs to be more general and straightforward. If you look at several Wikipedia articles, you'll see that they really just state the most basic facts in the lead. I would go with something like: "The New England Regional Convention of Colored Citizens was a regional meeting of African American civil rights activists that took place in Boston in 1859." Save the particulars about Wells, etc., until later in the article. You really just want the basic facts up front.
2) Be sure to insert the heading "References" above your citations.
3) The article is missing a few things to be complete. It needs a See Also section (Wikipedia articles that you haven't linked to already in the text of your article) and an External Links section (important outside websites; be sure to include a link to our partner website, the Colored Conventions Project in this section).
4) I would *really* like to see you develop the section on Bela C. Berry, since exploring the activities of African American women is a goal of the Colored Conventions Project. I assume she was a woman because you cite a book on female abolitionists? Could you at least explain a few things that she did in the convention, even if you can't find more information about her elsewhere? If Berry isn't a woman, are there any women present in the convention that could be incorporated into the article, even in a small way? StaceySmithOSU (talk) 04:44, 15 March 2020 (UTC)
Way comments for peer review
editYour article lead is strong. I would suggest adding information about how many days the convention was, though, because as is, it could be inferred that the convention was only a single evening. The article is well-structured. I like that you included a section about the origins of the convention. I think you maintain a neutral tone well, and your coverage of the topic is balanced. You use reliable sources. I noticed a typo in New York. I would rewrite the final sentence of your Results section as well, as it comes across awkwardly. --Waysu94 (talk) 22:20, 13 March 2020 (UTC) — Preceding unsigned comment added by StaceySmithOSU (talk • contribs)