User talk:Lengel08/sandbox
Excellent work! Reviewers offered some excellent suggestions and I agree. One thing to keep in mind is that subjective comments should not be included in the article. There aren't many of these here, but please be sure to stick to the data presented in the cited articles. Let me know if you have any questions about this. --Amille75 (talk) 04:52, 7 December 2015 (UTC)
Hi Lauren, this is Kenn.
A) I really enjoyed reading your addition to Wikipedia. You summarized your entire rough draft with a very well written introductory paragraph. I knew from the start what you were going to talk about. From then on you structured your body paragraphs so that they would cover the traits of Leymus mollis, such as the ability to sustain trampling, the capacity to resist drought, and capability to resist many fungal diseases. One thing you I would suggest is to elaborate on your topics and provide effective transitions between your sentences.
B) I did not find any grammar mistakes when I was reading your addition. Your sentences flow well. One of my suggestions would be to add headers to different subsections of your essay. This way, people will have a better idea of each sub-topic.
C) You seem to have the correct number of citations. However, you do not seem to have them listed at the bottom, and I do not know whether citing them by putting them in parentheses is appropriate (Author, year). The tutorial showed me how to use footnotes and then add the reference list at the bottom. I'm sure your format will work, I would just ask Dr. Miller to confirm.
Other than that, I feel like your Wiki-addition is great! Nice work!Kvattath (talk) 01:40, 1 December 2015 (UTC)kvattath
Peer Reviewed by Tharun Kotaru
General Comments: Great job! Your review is very easy to read and the paragraphs flow well with each other. I got a little thrown off when you state that L. mollis does not adapt well to moderate and high drought intensities in the second paragraph but then state that it is able to adapt to drought and water deficiency throughout the rest of your review. Otherwise, I think your research is cool because I am reviewing a crested wheat species and they share many of the same resistances as the species you are studying so our information can be pooled together to make some impressive hybrid species or something in the future. I really like your paragraph on fungal diseases.
Grammar: In the third paragraph about drought resistance, I would consider making a minor adjustment to the first sentence so that it reads as: "Another environmental stress factor that L. mollis exhibits tolerance to is drought/water deficiency." To me, this sounds better, but this is just a suggestion and it won't hurt my feelings if you do not make the change. That first sentence just sounds awkward to me. Maybe you are just missing the word "is" between develop and an. In the last paragraph, I would insert the word "experiences" in the second sentence so that it says "... strong rhizomes, and experiences vigorous growth in environments..." Other than these two changes, everything else looks great.
References: I see that you actually wrote out APA style references instead of using wiki's citation manager where you get the little numbers (ex: [1]) and it creates a footer section with the full citation to your sources. You should probably change this because it makes it easier for people to see the actual titles of the articles you have used.
You have some great material here and there are only a few minor changes I would make. Great job.