LingChen998

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Hello, LingChen998, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:17, 25 April 2018 (UTC)

Notes

Hi! Here are my main notes:

• This needs more sourcing to back up claims- you have one, but you'll need more to help source claims.

• The writing here is too much like an essay, as it contains original research and is written as more of a reflection on or reaction to the topic. Original research are things like claims and theories created by yourself, as opposed to summarizing content in source material. We can only summarize what existing sourcing have.

This needs to be re-written to more closely fit Wikipedia's writing style and more sourcing. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:34, 25 April 2018 (UTC)