User talk:Logan.grabiel/sandbox
Hello! I am also adding a comment to your page! AStreetCarNamedDesire2014 (talk) 15:12, 15 November 2014 (UTC) (Bree) I feel like you have a really great article and it is very neatly organized! But I agree with Deja that a Main Character section should be added! Maybe even have a separate part for performances as well! But you are on the right track and know a lot! I am sure this page will help others in the future :D
LOGAN - I'm making a comment on your page! I suppose I'll start with whatever quick criticisms that come to mind as I read the page.
1. The first sentence of your article mentions the "Royal Court Theatre Downstairs," but when I click the link, the title of the article is simply "Royal Court Theatre." Should 'downstairs' be included with your hotlink or capitalized with 'Royal Court Theatre'? Perhaps "Royal Court Theatre Downstairs" is a more common term than I know of. Just something I noticed!
2. Your first sentence also states that Mick Lally played both Mick Dowd and Mary Rafferty. Was this intentional?
3. You make every mention of Leenane into a hotlink, at least in your plot summary. I'm pretty sure this only needs to be done at the first mention of the word (in your introduction, for instance), but I could be wrong. Personally, it seems excessive, so I would only hotlink the first mention if I had the reins!
4. On the topic of hotlinking, I know that I've been meaning to attach links to certain words or terms that I type out into my wiki edit. Every wiki page I see will have wiki links for random uncommon words, places, or names. Perhaps this is only done with words that are both uncommon and relevant to the topic/story. Anyway, I found a word in your plot summary that could be made into a hotlink! In scene 1, you mention 'poteen'! Here's the link for its wiki page!
5. Near the end of your Scene 1 summary, you say, "MaryJohnny attempts to pry out of Mick just what he does with the remains he digs up in the cemetery, but refuses to tell her." Maybe you should edit the sentence so it ends with, "but Mick/he refuses to tell her." Otherwise, it sounds a little funny/unclear.
6. Your summary for Scene 3 begins with, "Back in Mick's home, with three skulls and their accompanying bones laid out on the kitchen table. Both Mairtin and Mick are drunk on poteen. While drunk, Mairtin begins admitting to having done certain bad things that earlier in the play he firmly refused to take the blame for." The first sentence is a fragment, though this may have been intentional, considering it reads like a stage direction thingy? The second sentence could be rearranged a little bit, changing it to "Mairtin drunkenly begins to admit having done certain bad things that he firmly refused to take the blame for earlier in the play." It may help if you're able to disclose what those 'certain bad things' are.
7. The last review written in your Notable Reviews section has a comma that probably shouldn't be there? "...and [Director,] Stuart Rodgers leans..." - the comma is right before the bracket ends.
Anyway, good job! You made all this from scratch, and the work shows. Hope this helps a bit! Andrew.blackowiak (talk) 04:02, 14 November 2014 (UTC)
Logan, Looks like you know a lot about the page and like you're in good shape. Something that I think could help with the page is adding a section where the main characters are listed out. :) Dejawhitfield (talk) 05:56, 14 November 2014 (UTC)