User talk:LoganSwen/sandbox

For Logan: I think the article should primarily be conceptual. Start with a broad definition. Don't just focus on Freud, although he made very important contributions. You should check out Kraft-Ebbing and Havelock Ellis as important contemporaries of Freud. A lot more since then. A listing of DSM disorders would be fine at the end.
For Tori: There is such a huge literature on psychosexual disorders that you should not focus on single studies. No need to go into detail on Zucker. If you can find a review article that summarizes his work, that would be best.
For Jerome: 1. See my comments to Logan. 2. Before creating a detailed section on a specific psychosexual disorder, you should check to see if a page already exists for that disorder. If so, just link to that article. 3. I don't understand your last question. J.R. Council (talk)
For Alexis: Please move your contributions to Logan's sandbox. I will grade them then. J.R. Council (talk) 20:43, 7 March 2016 (UTC) As for your question, I think I would concentrate most on the history of this concept. (See my comment to Logan, above.) How have psychosexual disorders been conceptualized in the past, who/what have been the major theorists/theories? For the specific disorders, you could list them and link to to their Wikipedia articles. J.R. Council (talk) 22:26, 7 March 2016 (UTC)

Dr. Council's comments on Assignment 5

First, some general comments. Please work on properly formatting your article for Wikipedia. You will need to do this eventually, and might as well start now. Comments on specific sections:

1. To-do list: Looks good. Add more details. Some of this belongs in the outline.
2. Outline: I think you're covering the basics here, but you can still differentiate your outline. Adding details will make writing your lead section easier. See the handout on Editing Wikipedia articles on Psychology for how to organize an article about a psychological concept.

Also, do a proper outline, like this:

I. Main topic

A. Subtopic

1. Sub-sub topic,etc.

1. References: Some reference citations are not formatted properly for Wikipedia. (Others are.) As you add text later, be sure to use the drop-down menu to attach reference citations in appropriate places and format references properly.
2. Task commitments: I can't see where anyone has made specific commitments to work on particular sections. J.R. Council (talk) 20:15, 23 March 2016 (UTC)

Dr. Council's comments on Assignment 6

I really like Tori's first sentence: Psychosexual disorders are sexual dysfunctions that are not credited to a physical illness, but to an emotional or mental illness. This is accurate, succinct, and well-put. Start your group's lead with this.

• That said, the whole group has done nice work.

You have to get off the idea that psychosexual disorders belong to Freud. Freud had his theories, but there is a much broader perspective on psychosexual disorders that comes before and after Freud.

• I think if you work off Lexi's lead for Assignment 7, this will give you a good start. J.R. Council (talk) 04:00, 6 April 2016 (UTC)

Dr. Council's comments on Assignment 7

Nice work, Group 6! You are good to go on developing the main article. However, the lead paragraph still needs some fine tuning.

1. Main problem - it is choppy. I did some editing so that sentences flow better from one to the next.
2. Add reference citations and internal links. J.R. Council (talk) 02:11, 13 April 2016 (UTC)

• Also, you need to let me know who contributed what so I can assign grades. Only Logan has signed. J.R. Council (talk) 02:13, 13 April 2016 (UTC)

Dr. Council's comments on Assignment 8

Great job, Group 9! There's no need to add more content, just polish this up and it's ready to go. In general, the main thing you need to do is proofread carefully for typos, spelling, and grammar. Here are my suggestons for specific sections:

• Lead: I did some editing to improve grammar and readability.
• Key contributors: This looks fine, except I find it hard to believe that "Psychopathia Sexualis is currently used as reference".
• Psychosexual disorders: There is an incomplete sentence at the end of the Fetishism and Transvetic Fetishism section. Transvestitism is mispelled.
  

Again, this is almost ready, but it needs careful proofreading! There are typos and misspellings all over. J.R. Council (talk) 19:29, 21 April 2016 (UTC)

In response to Dr. Council's comments, I proofread my section and added commas that I had missed prior. Tori Veth (talk) 01:46, 29 April 2016 (UTC)

Feedback

Nice work on your article draft. I made a few stylistic fixes - references go after punctuation, and only proper nouns should be capitalized. There are a few statements at the end of paragraphs that lack obvious supporting references. Those need to be fixed. Other than that, it looks good. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:11, 29 April 2016 (UTC)

Actually the references need some work too. Let me take a look at them. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:12, 29 April 2016 (UTC)

OK, I cleaned them up a bit. Some of the book references could be more complete; page numbers are very helpful when citing books. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 20:08, 29 April 2016 (UTC)

• Sounds like you need to add a few references, and you're ready to go. Let me know when you're ready to publish. J.R. Council (talk) 21:10, 3 May 2016 (UTC)