User talk:Martitay/sandbox

Martitay, I think you did a pretty good job with this so far but I have a few revisions that I think would really help you. You can see from my edits what I think should be changed in the lead paragraph but I can further expand on that here. Basically I just think that some of the things in the lead paragraph were a little out of the scope of a lead so I would suggest taking those out and putting in that final sentence that you had in the article. I would also be careful to follow my formatting of the references if you add another just to make sure that it is inputted correctly. My last main point is that I think you should start adding to your article as soon as possible to really get some substance and feedback from the rest of the class. Jibrahim23Jibrahim23 (talk) 02:01, 5 April 2017 (UTC)

Hey, my name is Rounak Nischal. I really enjoyed the background you gave on the language you did and I find it very intriguing. However, there are lots of things you can add to it to make it more of a research article on an endangered language. For example, feel free to find actual language characteristics like the tense and specific words. In addition, make sure your citations are right after each part of which it is about. Don't leave them all alone at the end of your article and leave it up to the reader to figure out which part you are referring to. Also, try to split your article up into segments such as background, use, characteristics, etc. Making it more appealing to the reader will make it more enticing and possibly leave more of an impact. For example: There are roughly four hundred (MAKE THIS A NUMBER) speakers of Emerillon and they are located mainly in the west close to the Surinam boarder (spelling check) and in the east close to the Brazilian boarder (spelling check). (Break this down into different sections, such as "Use," "Background," "Characteristics.") Good job so far and I cannot wait to read your article later on. RounakN (talk) 18:57, 7 April 2017 (UTC)

Some Helpful Suggestions

Hey Martitay!

So far, I definitely see that you have tried to gather as much information as you can about your language for your lead section. Moving forward from here, I think you should think about adding more sections to your article. I know someone suggested you remove some sentences. However, if you reformat the sentences, I do not think you have to remove them. One thing that concerns me about your article right now, is that I see a lot of citations, however I do not see which sentences each citation is attributed to, I think that is why those loose numbers are under the References header that I added. Perhaps you can find a way to attribute your citations to their respective sentences. Also, I worry that you might not have enough substantial information for a full article. I would say that for now, you should focus on finding out more about the people who speak the language. Perhaps you can find out a little about their culture and how they use their language. If you recall in When Languages Die, we learned that some peoples' languages tied them to nature. Some used their languages for agriculture, mapping, time telling, etc. You are off to a good start! If you can incorporate some of the things I have mentioned, as well as some of the other comments I have seen, I think you could have as great an article as you can with such limited information! Good luck! & if it helps, I noticed the work "Teko" in your lead. My language, Tektitek, is also referred to as "teko" and it is also in a similar region as your language. I'm not sure if they have any relation, however, it is worth looking into. I hope this all helps! Nti4 (talk) 20:18, 7 April 2017 (UTC)