Maximilian Brey

Thank you for the response!

I appreciate the feedback given. I like the idea you had to expand the turbans in the RCMP section further into a larger section and may do so on my own time. However, as you can imagine I have spent a lot of time on this already and seeing as it was due yesterday I will likely just leave it as is for now! Also, the reason the majority of the issues are about Canada and Canadian issues is because the majority of Sikhs outside of India reside in Canada and as a result, the majority of movements and issues have happened here. :) I may add a sentence or two explaining that, as this information is likely unknown to most readers! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Radicalarhea (talk • contribs) 03:25, 11 April 2018 (UTC)

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Moved to draft

Hi! I moved your article to User:Maximilian Brey/Feminism in Germany, The Emerge of the Second Wave. It had some issues, the main of which is that this felt a little too much like an essay aimed at arguing a certain point or persuading the reader. It was also undersourced in several areas, which is essential with any topic, but especially things like feminism and history. The article also looked to contain a lot of original research, which may have been helped along by the undersourcing. Original research is essentially claims and theories that you would come up with on your own and aren't explicitly stated in the source material.

Finally, there's already an article on feminism in Germany and the article looks to be just a bit too redundant to the existing article. Your work would make for an excellent paper - I don't want you to think it's bad - it's just that Wikipedia has a very different style. We can only summarize what is already been stated by authorities in reliable sources and can only create a new article spinoff if the main article is too long and there's just too much new information to be added. I think that there's good content here, however I'd recommend re-working this and merging it into the existing article on feminism in Germany. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:41, 23 April 2018 (UTC)