Michelle.m.wilson

Michelle.m.wilson, you are invited to the Teahouse!

Hi Michelle.m.wilson! Thanks for contributing to Wikipedia. Be our guest at the Teahouse! The Teahouse is a friendly space where new editors can ask questions about contributing to Wikipedia and get help from experienced editors like Samwalton9 (talk). Visit the Teahouse We hope to see you there! Delivered by HostBot on behalf of the Teahouse hosts 16:03, 30 May 2018 (UTC) Hello Michelle, I hope I am doing this right. I am happy to be having another class with you. How is your pregnancy going? Smooth, I hope. :)

Welcome!

Hello, Michelle.m.wilson, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 13:22, 25 June 2018 (UTC)

Notes

Hi! I had some notes for you on the draft:

• Make sure to avoid writing in a casual or persuasive style, or writing claims without attribution, as this can make the writing come across as original research. For example, the following sentence could be rewritten from this:

Revenge can be self-serving as much as it is harmful to others. These behaviors are enacted not only to hurt the offending party, but also to regain one's dignity

To this:

According to Stephen Yoshimura, revenge can be self-serving as much as it is harmful to others. He further stated that these behaviors are enacted not only to hurt the offending party, but also to regain one's dignity.

Attribution is definitely one of the best ways to avoid your writing coming across as original research and it's something I use for that very reason with a lot of my writing. There is quite a bit of content in the draft that comes across as too casual or writing to persuade the reader to follow a specific conclusion, so this definitely needs to be worked on. I don't think that any of it is wrong necessarily, FWIW.

• As far as the addition of the section on revenge in human relationships, I'm concerned about the title. It's a big confusing - the article as a whole is about revenge in human relationships and any change of topic (ie, revenge in the animal world, in fictional, religious, or mythical constructs) is given its own subsection. I would work this into the article's format a bit more. Instead of making a section about human relationships, re-tool this to make independent section. For example, instead of emotional outcomings being a subsection under the main header of human relationships, make it into its own main header.

This looks good - but definitely be careful of style and formatting! Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:04, 6 July 2018 (UTC)