User talk:MikeyLuc1998/sandbox
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seaford,_New_York, I chose this article because it is my hometown thus I am very well versed in it, as well, there are a lot of omissions about school sports, and businesses within the town which are well documented and easy to source.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/José_Hernández_(writer) I chose this article as it has a lot of room for improvement, as a fluent Spanish speaker I can also use my translation skills to bring information into English as well as have access to a variety of non english sources.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seaford_High_School_(New_York) I chose Seaford High School, as I attended this high school. This page can use a large amount of improvements, and there are many sources about this school that this article is not including that i would be happy to add, as well there are no photos and no inclusion of faculty/ extracurriculars.
21:16, 25 September 2016 (UTC)
Mikey Lucatorto
Peer Review
editI really liked your addition to the article and the education section in that article was really lacking, so this was a great addition. The only things I think you could change are at the beginning, when you put the number of students attending the school, you have more numbers and statistics of students in the school system towards the end of your addition. You may want to consider putting them all together to avoid any confusion. The paragraph at the end beginning with "Seaford High School is a mostly white high school" is a little confusing just because it jumps from statement to statement so quickly; you talk about the low minority percentage, to the student teacher ratio, to the current principal really quickly when they could have more detail and possibly be in separate paragraphs. Overall great job and I thought your addition was really interesting!
Kirapyne (talk) 01:04, 13 October 2016 (UTC)wikiuser Kirapyne
Thanks for the critique. I will definitely do some restructuring and rephrasing. With regards to your addition of increased detail to the student ratio, there wasn't a plethora of information but I will try to give more or contextualize the statements. Thank you again,
MikeyLuc1998 (talk)Mikeyluc1998 —Preceding undated comment added 01:52, 19 October 2016 (UTC)