Nancylim511

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Hello, Nancylim511, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:10, 16 January 2019 (UTC)

Response

Hi! I wanted to respond on Wikipedia since it's easier to format notes on here and this way it keeps it in one place. In any case, as far as the tags go:

• The lead section needs to be fleshed out so that it covers a very basic, general synopsis of the most major points of the article.
• I wouldn't worry so much about the page being an orphan. What that just means is that links need to be created on other pages, like in the see also section.

Now when it comes to the original research and essay content, here's what I have in general:

• Saying that jazz was a defining part of the 20s can be seen as original research since this could be subjective to the reader, as some may feel that it wasn't as major a part as some of the other things from the time period. You never want to write something as an opinion or use a subjective statement unless you're directly attributing it to someone. Vague phrases like saying jazz was undefinable is also problematic, as jazz has a very specific definition as a music genre. You can quote the source along the lines of saying that "This person has stated that...", but otherwise writing should be to the point and more or less exactly as it's written. So for example, you could say that someone was described as possessing a positive demeanor that kept up the spirits of others, but you can't call them as being the sunshine of a community. Things like these can be seen in the article as well.
• Never start a sentence with a conjunction like 'and' or interjections like 'but', as this comes across as a sentence fragment and is too casual for Wikipedia. This can also lead to something reading like an essay. There are many sentences like this in the article
• You should try to always attribute quotes to the person making them.

Something I recommend is that you look over the content in other, similar articles to see how they're written. I can also give you more specific examples, but that will take a bit longer. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 20:55, 12 April 2019 (UTC)