User talk:Nmateo1997/sandbox

Prof Garcia's Comments

I apologize Professor Garcia. I spent half of last week sick to my stomach. I am not sure if you remember but last Thursday's class I came in late because I couldn't hold any food down that morning and tried to feel well enough to attend class. I also apologize for not completing the content gap questions. It was a misunderstanding and i confused it for the comments on a wiki article of our choice. I've also been under some stress lately with my family and all the new legislation that has been coming out on immigration. I apologize again and I promise I will be more involved and on top of my wiki assignments.@Alfgarciamora: Nmateo1997 (talk) 14:21, 31 January 2017 (UTC)

Week 2

I'm very concerned, Natalie. Looks like you did not answer any of the content gap questions, which was half of your assignment. What is more, your analysis of the war memorial were kind, but they were not very particular. Is everything okay? Alfgarciamora (talk) 20:54, 30 January 2017 (UTC)

Week 5

@Nmateo1997: I think you will do fine with those additions to the page, but please make sure you writing is encyclopedic. I would love for the character to "come to life," as you say, but it must be in the style of Wikipedia. Alfgarciamora (talk) 14:13, 21 February 2017 (UTC)

Week 6: Peer Review

The actual article has some grammatical errors that should be addressed. Although the errors are slight, such as some sentences lacking punctuation, correcting them will bring the article together. Try to avoid run-on sentences. I noticed that some of the information you are planning on adding is quite lengthy. For example, “He was supported by Voltaire, and in 1778 succeeded in persuading King Louis XVI to annul the decree which had sentenced the Comte de Lally, but the parliament of Rouen, to which the case was referred back, in 1784 again decided in favor of Lally's guilt.” can be broken down into smaller parts. Reducing lengthy sentences into smaller parts will allow the reader to grasp a better understanding of the article. Nonetheless, great job on finding relevant information on your character! You linked many ideas to King Louis XVI. Also, Including information about Gérard de Lally-Tollendal's search for evidence to prove his father’s innocence helps the reader get a sense of the source of his ideals. Bridginator (talk) 00:44, 27 February 2017 (UTC)

@Bridginator: Hey Bridgette! Thank you for your feedback. I will implement your suggestions by this weekend if you would like to read through it again. I found your suggestion about finding info on how Lally-Tollendal found evidence of his father's innocence to be very interesting. Unfortunately, since I have many sources with conflicting information on the actual process of proving his father's innocence, I'm not sure if I will be able to find anything but I will surely try! Nmateo1997 (talk) 15:08, 3 March 2017 (UTC)

Week 8

Holy crap, Nmateo1997, you really outdid yourself. What an INCREDIBLE job!! You did such great research and writing here!! You can consider yourself done with all the research and writing. All you have to do now is make sure the page is clean, crisp, and well-cited. Pay particular attention to the encyclopedic language throughout. But wowza, I can't believe what wonderful work you've done. You even put in lots of references for further reading. I love it!!! =D Alfgarciamora (talk) 17:39, 20 March 2017 (UTC)