User talk:Rachel Benedict/sandbox
Latest comment: 8 years ago by Amadlom
Tim and Rachel
It is obvious to me you have spent some time on this article. It is well laid out and puts forward a lot of great information. As I read through your article I would suggest just a few minor changes. You have a lot of good sources and the article is really full of great information. A couple changes I would suggest are the following:
I would eliminate the word of in the following phrase:
'These representations of are
In paragraph 2 this sentence brings across a good point, but seemed a mouthful to me. Maybe break it into two sentences.
- Current feminist studies are striving towards including heavier than normal models in high end, top selling women’s magazines — Preceding unsigned comment added by Amadlom (talk • contribs) 23:48, 26 April 2016 (UTC)
, a “feminist” would issue a larger sized model who represents, or nearly represents, the average woman (8).
issue change to argue?