User talk:Redactrice at DESY/DESY revised

Revised version of DESY article

In an effort to correct, update and de-clutter the main article about DESY, I have suggested changes to the articles about DESY’s individual accelerators and projects on their own pages (see ARGUS, PETRA, TASSO, JADE, PLUTO, HERA, H1, ZEUS, HERMES, HERA-B, FLASH, PITZ).

Now that these have been largely accepted and published, here are suggestions to update the DESY article itself. This update includes revising the historical details that can now be found in the individual articles mentioned above. In addition, I suggest to create two new articles, DESY (particle accelerator) and DORIS, in order to outsource the historical details about those two DESY facilities so they can be deleted here in the main DESY article.

Any feedback on all three articles would be very welcome!

Unfortunately, the DORIS article has been rejected because “the author works for DESY”, and I suppose the new article on DESY (particle accelerator) could be rejected on the same grounds. This makes it impossible to follow the same plan as with the other DESY facilities and outsource the historical details on the DESY accelerator and DORIS to new articles. I’d be grateful for any advice on how to solve this conundrum! Redactrice at DESY (talk) 10:14, 6 March 2023 (UTC)

@Redactrice at DESY: I have (I think) taken care of all updates aside from the central section about accelerators and facilities in DESY. There is something that might need adjustment: in this suggested update, five sections start with bolded non-sentences. I suggest that these should be changed into sentences. Let me know what you would like to do there. —Quondum 02:27, 25 June 2023 (UTC)

@Quondum Thank you very much for all your hard work! Really appreciated!! You're right about the non-sentences. Please have a look at the draft article User:Redactrice at DESY/DESY revised: accelerators now start with proper non-bold sentences. I adapted the start of the following sentences accordingly to avoid repetition. Better? Redactrice at DESY (talk) 14:48, 3 July 2023 (UTC)

@Redactrice at DESY: I think I'm done on this. Thanks for providing what was essentially balanced copyedit from the previous versions, with the effect that there was nothing contentious to deal with. I notice that HASYLAB was essentially reduced to bare mentions in places, so if this might be of historical interest more detail could be added into one or two existing articles. I am no judge of this. —Quondum 01:12, 9 July 2023 (UTC)