User talk:RockyLeng8/sandbox
Excellent!!--Amille75 (talk) 05:43, 7 December 2015 (UTC)
Peer-review
edit1. Overall you did a very good job explaining different aspects of Thinopyrum intermedium such as mass breeding and hybridization. The information about the advantages of perennial plants vs. annual plants are very strong and clear.
2. As I was reading the article, I was wondering about the first sentence of the second paragraph in hybridization section, "The Land Institute has been working to develop a viable wheat and Thinopyrum intermedium since 2001, and there have been several successful strains with 14 Thinopyrum intermedium chromosomes and 42 wheat chomosomes." I was confused about how you jumped from the hybridization to the molecular level of chromosomes? Maybe you can add more information to have a better transition.
3. You did a good job explaining mass breeding, one more suggestion on this is to expand the benefits of making "genetically diverse individuals".
4. Under the hybridization section, you said "These hybrids perform better than either of its parents". As I was reading, I wasn't sure by what ways they perform better? It would be nice if you can add more information about the traits those hybrids have that make them better than their parents.
5. I have a few grammar suggestions: a. under "Breeding/domestication for grain production" section, the second sentence, "Mass breeding, however, is a process by which large quantities of of genetically diverse individuals are made." There are two "of". b. under hybridization section, the scientific names in the sentence "Thinopyum elongatum and Thinopyrum intermedium confer a total of four leaf rust resistance genes, while Thinopyrum intermedium also confers two powdery mildew genes as well." are not italicized.
6. All the references look good!
--Dwang24 (talk) 18:28, 30 November 2015 (UTC)
General Comments: The overall message I got from reading this article is that Thinopyrum intermedium is a perennial wheat plant that has natural resistance to fungus and a hard seed for protection. I liked how you stated that further domestication needs to be done in order to enhance its seed size and yield. Also, you did a good job on explaining the various hybridizations that has occurred between this perennial plant and other wheat species. I think it would be helpful if you added information about the plant's nutritional value. One question I had was whether or not this perennial plant could be beneficial on its own because it seemed like Thinopyrum intermedium is only beneficial as a food product if it is hybridized with an annual wheat species.
Grammar: In the last sentence in the "Breeding/domestication for grain production" heading, the last word instead is confusing because I wondered "instead of what?". Also when you stated "lesser than wheat by some" under the same heading, what did you mean by the word "lesser". Also, in the first paragraph under the hybridization heading, the word "as" should be deleted, and there should be a space between the comma and the word "Barley".
References: There were 5 correctly cited scientific articles used.
Reviewer: Jennie Horstmann
General Comments: What I got out of your article was that Thinopyrum intermedium is a great perennial grain that can be used and perhaps hybridized with wheat in order to increase the efficiency of either wheat or T. intermedium as a crop plant. My favorite part about this contribution was when you specifically included the months that T. intermedium would be available to harvest that wheat cannot withstand. This really shows people how important T. intermedium could be as a crop plant. I also really liked that you included the 26% yield that T. intermedium gives in relation to wheat, because that shows that much more research needs to be done to improve it.
Grammar: There were a few grammatical errors, but for the most part well done. (1) First off, in your first sentence of the Hybridization section, you italicized Wheat. You do not need to do that because that is not its scientific name. (2) Second, the sentence, "However, which specific genes that protect against which specific fungus has as not been as well studied" sounds very awkward, so I would consider revising that. (3) In addition, in the next sentence, you need to italicize the scientific names. (4) In the sentence after that, there's not really a grammatical problem, but I would check to see if "Wheat streak mosaic virus, the Aceria tosichella mite,Barley yellow dwarf" should all be capitalized, because I honestly just think it would look better to capitalize all the names, but that might not be correct. (5) Finally, in the third sentence of the second paragraph, you say "perennially" instead of "perenniality".
References: I think all the references look good! As long as none of them have issue numbers, because you did not include those in your references. Mitchelln175 (talk) 17:56, 1 December 2015 (UTC)
General Comments: You've done a fantastic job, Rocky, especially in an article that is already dense with contributions from other Wiki users. I also enjoy the information you've written about how Thinopyrum Intermedium can be hybridized with other species. What you have written is fair and balanced, with both the improvements and costs of potential hybrids in its desired qualities and its harvestability. This is especially clear in your discussion about the wheat and Thinopyrum intermedium hybrids developed by The Land Institute. "These hybrids perform better than either of its parents, but it cannot be widespread due to the changes of climate across the world. In addition, perennially is lost with these hybrids. This loss of perenniality is a common problem with hybridization attempts. All other desired characteristics are present in the hybrids - large seeds, good yields, etc. - except that the plants have taken on too many wheat characteristics: they are annual." It's always important to fairly present both sides of a point when used in an argument, so great job.
I think the only thing you would want to do to improve your contributions is to fix several problems with grammar or flow. I'll break it up my critiques according to each section you've added them to.
“Breeding/domestication for grain production.” 1. The would change the first clause of your first sentence to "The whole aforementioned process is called mass selection." It's somewhat awkward to refer to previously presented information as "above." 2. In the 1st paragraph in the 2nd sentence, the word "of" is used twice in a row.
"Hybridization" 1. The word "confer" is used, in my opinion, too much in the first paragraph. It would be better to find synonyms to keep readers interested. 2. I would rewrite the last two sentence to make them flow better into this form: "While this may not seem like an important characteristic, better bread may provide more calories and feed more people. In addition, bread that stays fresh longer, and may also allow more opportunities to be adequately fed and/or transported to area without much food access."
Two other general things:
- I would reread your contributions just to make sure everything sounds fine to you. - I don't think the word wheat is generally capitalized. Otherwise, everything sounds great!
You have all the criteria met for the references, so great job.
Asehizad (talk) 20:13, 1 December 2015 (UTC)asehizad