Ryantommy
| This user is a student editor in University_of_Windsor/Social_Issues_in_Sport_Management_(winter_2019) . |
Welcome!
editHello, Ryantommy, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:41, 16 January 2019 (UTC)
Draft notes
editHi! I have some notes for you:
- When writing, make sure that you attribute claims to the source material. One that I noticed in specific is the sentence "The tournament is educational in respect to the many different cultural aspects in addition to the recreational facet since children from many different communities, languages, lifestyles, and backgrounds were gathering in the spirit of friendship to meet and get to know each other." Claims like this tend to be subjective opinions, so it's important that it's clearly marked as being a claim made by the LNHL themselves, along the lines of "The LNHL have stated that the tournament...". Otherwise, this runs the risk of coming across as non-neutral.
- This needs more sourcing to back up claims and establish how this league is notable. A good chunk of the sourcing is primary, meaning that it was released by the LNHL themselves, either via their websites or via press releases that they issued for publication. In general it's better to not use press releases in general for anything other than very basic details and not count on them for notability, as they are often just released for publicity and sometimes will be released with cooperation of the people or organizations they're talking about. The coverage is otherwise fairly light, so there needs to be more coverage in independent and reliable sources.
I hope that this helps! ReaderofthePack(formerly Tokyogirl79) (｡◕‿◕｡) 21:37, 5 March 2019 (UTC)
- Sorry, that is me! I was on my other account! Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 21:38, 5 March 2019 (UTC)