User talk:Schif46/sandbox

Latest comment: 8 years ago by Allimally8 in topic Feedback!

Feedback!

edit

• Balancing act--> o This is really long and I don’t think you need to have all that information. There are times when things are repeated, so you could take those parts out. o I like how you added information on how the term self-objectification was made and how you talked about plastic surgery. o You did a good job adding a lot of different perspectives, just try to shorten some things are repetitive. • Neutral content--> o You do a great job staying neutral! The only thing I could really find were sentences like “ Almost all of these advertisements expose women with a sexual appeal.” • Reliable sources--> o I think you should try to cite more in your article because there’s times where you make a claim but don’t have a citation directly after it. • “The average citizen in the United States experiences about 3,000 advertisements a day.” You should cite where you got this information after you state it. • In your paragraph about Plastic Surgery, you only cite at the end once. Try to cite throughout the paragraph whenever you make a claim. o You have good sources both academic and popular. o You don’t focus on 1 or 2 sources, but instead spread them out equally which is great! • This article was very well written and gave plenty of information about the topic. The only thing I think that needs to change is more citations after making claims.

Allimally8 (talk) 13:20, 17 March 2016 (UTC)Reply