User talk:Sdcox004/sandbox

Feedback on article contribution

As a general comment about Wiki interaction - don't forget to frame your suggestions on the talk page. It's called a talk page because it's a place to talk to other interested editors, so rather than simply insert an addition, explain why you want to, how it fits into the overall, and especially comment on any connections you see to ideas or conversations that have already been out there. Comments on the contribution are in no particular order:

• Wondering about your use of the verb, "claimed." Do you mean to diminish the credibility of the assertion? Is it more accurate or more appropriate to your ends than: find, suggest, or state, for example?
• Look at appropriate use of semi-colons in your style/usage resource.
• researchers examines?
• Very confused about this sentence: Often, the researchers examines, these stereotypes have led to the limiting of one gender identity on social media because the traditional roles have generally been forced upon them in this setting. -- Should it be "one's gender identity?" That would make some sense. Also, who is "them?" The only people int he sentence are researchers, and "them" can't be the researchers.
• "rise of social media" is a noun phrase. Needs an article in front of it.
• What does portraying oneself in a positive life have to do with increased comparisons?
• Naked "this."
• Persons needs a possessive.
• Overall, even though I understand the forces of social construction and consider them to be valid, I want more explanation of how the researchers came to their conclusions. What is their evidence, their method, or their data set? As a reader, I may also be assisted by short examples of the phenomena described. How do young men portray themselves as strong, for example.
• Overall - needs some attention to detail for polish and clarity. Expansion is also a possibility and would enhance clarity.Jagrif02 (talk) 21:32, 18 October 2016 (UTC)