User talk:ShebaPrasad28/sandbox
Sheba
I liked your article and how you described the symptoms of the disease. Your article is easily understandable on some aspects, because you have described some sections very clearly and others not so clearly. I liked how you described all the symptoms associated with the disease, I felt anyone reading this can get a vague idea on what to expect if they have this disease.
What I would recommend changing is the format of your page. For my wiki page, I used another wiki article and pasted it on my sand box page, to get the format. I looked up respiratory disease on wiki and I clicked on edit, and from there I copied the entire page and pasted it on my sandbox page. Try this, see if it helps. This way your reader can understand what he or she is reading if you make everything in to clear sections. Also, the definition of your disease is not clear. I understood the symptoms but I did not understand what it is. I understand it is the removal of gall bladder which triggers the disease to take place, but what is the underlying mechanism that causes it or if there is any. So, I think you should start your first sentence by giving your reader a general definition of the disease. After that then go into cause and symptoms. Also, your disease title should always be bold or highlighted, so it can be distinguished from other linked diseases that you may mention in your article. Apart, from few minor additions and proofreading I liked you article, I just wished you described it better. I will not make comment on the things that your missing because I understand that this is your rough draft and I know your still working on it and have things to add. Overall, great job.
lpanchal50.76.81.49 (talk) 20:03, 5 April 2014 (UTC)
Sheba, I like your article and your topic! It is a good start, you have information, just need to format it. There are some terms in your article that may be difficult for non medical science readers to understand. Try to explain these terms or link them to another wiki page. Also, use Wiki's template citer. Some of the sections seem short, try elaborating on them. Good job! -Etny — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ecandelario (talk • contribs) 23:39, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
Shebaaaaaa!!
Your “(explanation later)” parts were funny lol In the areas you wrote that, I agree with you to expand on. Some suggestions:
- Organize your information in sections to make it easier for the reader to read.
- Make sure to site.
- Insert “blue fonts” to words to make it look fancier ;)
- Maybe expand on treatments if at all possible with your topic?
Really interesting topic, I like it!
Lszleszynski (talk) 15:58, 8 April 2014 (UTC)
- This is hard to review without any formatting. You should really make formatting a priority at this point.
- Look for ways to use less jargon, or at least define it wherever possible.
- Link to other wikipedia articles
- Make sure you define important terms
- There's a lot of really good information here, but it needs a lot of work to get it into a wiki appropriate format.
Sweiner02 (talk) 00:36, 9 April 2014 (UTC) Sweiner02 (talk) 00:36, 9 April 2014 (UTC)