User talk:Shelby.kappes/sandbox

Feedback

@Ashley.miller.2, Shelby.kappes, and Savannah.m.voeltz: Nice job with your draft. A few things moving forward

• Leave out the sole-authored papers. Books might be worth listing, and very highly influential papers. But academics write papers, it really isn't something noteworthy (unless the actual articles are noteworthy).
• The "professional experience" looks too much like a CV. Turn it into a paragraph.
• This sentence is just strange

Susan Carey was born in 1942 by her parents William and Mary along with a step-mom Joan and currently lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts

She wasn't born "by her parents", and I'm guessing that her step-mother wasn't involved in her life when she was born. Also it would be "step mother" - "step mom" is too informal.

• Add some links to other articles. They helps integrate your work into Wikipedia, and makes it easy for readers to learn more about things they might want to learn more about.
• The Biography section shouldn't just be one long paragraph like that. Break it up some more - that makes it easier to read.
• Are all the awards notable awards? If so, great. If not, you might want to pare them down a little. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 00:38, 7 December 2016 (UTC)

Response

• I have fixed the biography, added more digestible paragraphs
• Added links to some other related words
• Attached links to each of the works Susan Carey had written

Ashley.miller.2 (talk) 00:33, 8 December 2016 (UTC)

I have fixed the career, I had made the professional experience into a paragraph instead of the bullet points. I have also added a link to another article. Shelby.kappes (talk) 00:37, 8 December 2016 (UTC)