Shicl
| This user is a student editor in University_of_Cincinnati_/English_2089_Intermediate_Composition__(Fall_) . |
Welcome!
editHello, Shicl, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 16:26, 2 October 2018 (UTC)
Peer Review
editThis article and the included edits are very well done. When looking at the side by side comparison of the article before and after the edits, you can truly see a world of difference. When I read the original biography section, I was very confused on the migration of his family and the reason for their persecution. However, you added a lot of valuable and clarifying information that makes his past and the events that lead to an alteration in his beliefs a lot clearer. Also the brief addition you made to the lead really clarified the purpose of the essay and emphasized his connection to Messianic Judaism, a key connection that makes the page more helpful in the greater Wikipedia Community.
The page has a very strong start and provides a lot of information on Fruchtenbaum's personal journey. However, I think there is still room for improvement in the theological section of the article, as it is currently fairly vague and the information it does provide is extremely academic. This leads to a sharp contrast from the comprehensive biography section of the article and makes it harder to understand the impact of his work on the greater community. Improving this section may also lead to more information regarding his ministry, Ariel Ministry, to be worked into the article and give the reader more insight as to how his work has shaped Messianic Judaism.
Johns7mn (talk) 17:02, 29 October 2018 (UTC)
Thank you so much! Your suggestions are really helpful and needed. I'll be working on adding to the theology section to make it more accessible and less academic sounding, although I may need help from other Wikipedians who are more experienced since I am no theologian at all. And I'll add more about Ariel Ministries, there is a gap of information there since AM is so important in his story and work.