User talk:Thatgirljessie/sandbox

Brandon's Peer Review

Hey, Jessica.

Your lead so far looks excellent. You do a really great job of starting small, and then organically expanding on previously-mentioned details. You also were able to contextualize Mambos -- geographically, spiritually, etymologically. These are all crucial details for a lead.

I would like to suggest some minor edits, however: ·Your first mention of "Houngan" is capitalized, whereas the rest of the article does not do the same. Should it be in lowercase letters? ·In the lead, you defined "konesans" as knowledge in parentheses. In the "Comparison between Mambos and Hougans" section, you define it again as "intuitive knowledge and power." Perhaps you should stick with one definition, and only need to define it once? ·The title of "Levels of Initiation" seems a bit vague to me -- at least with what information you have so far. I'm sure you're not finished with that section yet, so I'm sure you will clarify. ·Finally, the two sources you've incorporated so far look quite credible. But judging by the titles of the books, it seems like they're written by experts on the topic of Vodou/Voodoo. Maybe it would be a good idea to include sources by those that have a more outsider's perspective and may approach the topic with greater objectivity. I'm sure the authors you've cited already do a great job of eliminating bias, but it may be a good idea to include a few more voices.

So far, it looks great! Keep it up.

Sangbin1999 (talk) 16:57, 15 April 2019 (UTC)Brandon