User talk:The Critical Librarian/sandbox

Sarah's review of article so far

Hi, you still seem to have more to add, but your draft of the article lead is pretty good. There is a small issue in the second paragraph where I think you should use the word "continued" instead of "continues" as it just feels awkward the way it is. It would also be nice if you had more information on the typical style of her work instead of there just basically being a list of some art and exhibitions. What was her main source of inspiration for her art, what was a defining characteristic of her sculptures etc. If you could add any of that it would be really good. Scooper24601 (talk) 01:41, 17 April 2018 (UTC)

Thanks Sarah,

Your recommendations about adding the typical style of her work and her sources of inspiration are spot on. I'll work on developing a section for the body of the article with that information. Thanks for your advice. --The Critical Librarian (talk) 05:58, 17 April 2018 (UTC)

Article feedback

Hi The Critical Librarian,

First off, you developed nice sections in your sandbox that show your engagement with the different Wikipedia learning activities. Not everyone did this, so I'm particularly appreciative. However, I didn't see that you detailed your revision ideas for the Barbara Chase-Riboud article in your Sandbox or on her article Talk page. Week 10 in our timeline asked, "In your sandbox, write a few sentences about what you plan to contribute to the selected article. Think back to when you did an article critique. What can you add? Post some of your ideas to the article's talk page." I'd also suggest that you delete the empty spaces on her talk page under the section "I will be editing this page utilizing the following sources:."

The main lead section that you added is impressive; I would consider adding a heading to it, such as "Biography" or integrating some of the information throughout the article in the appropriate sections, such as "visual arts career." Right now it sits as an info dump that could use some further shaping or labeling. Compare the opening structure of other articles for examples. Most leads are simply one-sentence long with a small bio description afterwards. However you articulated your reasoning well for expanding the lead in your reflection post. My conclusion is that there are many ways to structure a lead!

I didn't see any edits beyond the opening--did you intend to add more? I noticed that you didn't add your bibliography--you really should! You worked hard to find those resources and they aren't incorporated into the "further reading" section.

It looks like you took your reviewer's feedback and developed more info on Chase-Riboud's style--good work.

I'm so glad you enjoyed reading our books on Chase-Riboud! Thank you for your contributions to this assignment. Zipperbrown (talk) 22:14, 7 May 2018 (UTC)