The Mythcreant
| This user is a student editor in University_of_Wisconsin/Music_and_Literature_(Continuous_enrollment) . |
Welcome!
editHello, The Mythcreant, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:11, 8 July 2019 (UTC)
Response
editHi! I'm more of an expert when it comes to Wikipedia than music, but I know a little bit about music enough to where I could spot some issues. In any case, here are my notes:
- If this is to be an article, it needs a lead section. This serves as an introduction to the topic and gives a very basic overview of the article.
- Is the Shetland Sword Dance and the Papa Stour Sword Dance the same thing? If so, this needs to be specified. If it's only a specific type of Shetland Sword Dance then that needs to be clarified as well. If it's the same thing then I'd pick one name and stick with that, but state that there are other versions of the name out there. Now offhand it looks like they refer to the same thing and the most commonly used name is the Papa Stour Sword Dance, so I would use this in the article.
- It looks like this is already covered here in the article about Papa Stour, so make sure that your article goes into more depth. We need to be able to justify this having its own article. Offhand I don't think that this is really an issue but I would go into more depth about the history of the dance, what it means, and how it has been preserved.
- I suppose that the term "muckle reel" could be confusing to readers, but you also define this later in the article so it isn't anything to worry about.
- I'm somewhat unsure if we need the entire song - I tried seeing if I could move it into a quote box but it's still quite long. If you like the quote box an option would be to expand the article - this would help make the long box a little less of an issue. You could also potentially just quote specific parts of the song or just summarize it - although even if the song is kept, I would recommend creating a summary of the song.
All in all, I think that you have some good work here - this just needs to be further expanded and some of the above material clarified. Also, I wanted to let you know that I uploaded a video of the dance itself (there was a video on YouTube that was released under a compatible Creative Commons copyright) and added it to your draft. Feel free to remove it if you don't want it in. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:47, 10 July 2019 (UTC)
- The sources here look promising. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:53, 10 July 2019 (UTC)