Thoma4a6
| This user is a student editor in University_of_Cincinnati_/English_2089_Intermediate_Composition__(Fall_) . |
Welcome!
editHello, Thoma4a6, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 18:03, 8 October 2018 (UTC)
Peer Review
editThe topic she is focusing on is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. - The article has a good explanation of what the day is actually about and the different causes of infant deaths. It impressed me that she took the time to go through the links on the wiki page and figure out which ones were dead and which ones were actually helpful. Most of the editing and reviewing was just fixing up the article since she didn't have to write a completely new one.
- I would suggest that the article use better links in order to get certain points across and break up the sections so it is clear and easy to understand. Having a strict outline of the history and other events relating to the topic makes it easier for the reader to understand what it is and why is it important.
- The biggest thing to add to the article is the psychological affects which she is doing. By emphasizing the affects it has on parents and loved ones, it would be clear and easily understandable as to why we should celebrate each year and to raise awareness so more people know the root causes of infant deaths and how to stray away from the little things that might cause it that people don't normally know about. By doing this, it would hit home for many readers and maybe even influence readers to do something about it and support the awareness about Pregnancy and Infant loss.
- Our topics we are doing our project on are extremely different but I noticed that she is adding some sections in order to make it better which is what I need to do as well. With more information, it makes the article more credible and interesting to read and understand why it is important or something interesting to read about.
Gysinte (talk) 17:14, 29 October 2018 (UTC)Taylor GysinGysinte (talk) 17:14, 29 October 2018 (UTC)