Tittlere
This user is a student editor in Wikipedia:Wiki_Ed/University_of_Cincinnati/ENGL_1001-28_English_Composition_(Fall_2018) . |
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editHello, Tittlere, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:33, 2 October 2018 (UTC)
Suggested edits
editAs I read through the paper, you did a nice job summarizing your topic for readers to follow. However, one of the suggestions I would have for you involve a few grammatical errors. For example, “Seth was one of four United States troops...” needs to be edited. Seth can not be a troop, he can be “in” the troop. There are a few other similar grammar errors, but overall well written.Jliber (talk) 00:18, 24 October 2018 (UTC)
- I made some tweaks to the page. Here's what I changed and why:
- Avoid euphemisms like 'passed away' or 'laid to rest', as they may not always be clear to all readers. These terms also sometimes have specific connotations and assumptions attached to them, so it's better to be as matter of fact as possible. (See WP:EUPHEMISM.) I removed or changed this.
- I removed the use of the term unfortunate. It's definitely awful that Mitchell died, but the term is seen as a point of view/opinion term and as such, would be seen as non-neutral - even if the average person would agree with this. The term just has too many emotions, assumptions, and connotations attached to it to use, so I removed it.
- The article should use Mitchell's last name per Wikipedia's style conventions, which was another thing I changed.
- I re-tooled the information about his class for flow, but also because of the use of the term "passion for". This is very frequently used in marketing and non-neutral work, so it's something that Wikipedia sees as being inherently non-neutral. This takes a lot of people by surprise since it's such a widely used term otherwise and would seem innocuous to most, so no worries about this one.
- One thing I do want to mention, however, is that some of this coverage looks to be a little locally focused. Local coverage tends to be greatly depreciated on Wikipedia, so you'll need a lot of non-local coverage to show where Mitchell is notable. Also, be aware that primary sources can back up details but can't establish notability. I'm just a little worried that the coverage here is a little too light. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:11, 26 October 2018 (UTC)
The article David Mitchell (executive marine officer) has been proposed for deletion because of the following concern:
All references are obituaries, none illustrate anything other than his military career, so fails WP:BLP1E, that event being KIA. Fails WP:NSOLDIER, no qualifying achievement.
While all constructive contributions to Wikipedia are appreciated, pages may be deleted for any of several reasons.
You may prevent the proposed deletion by removing the {{proposed deletion/dated}}
notice, but please explain why in your edit summary or on the article's talk page.
Please consider improving the page to address the issues raised. Removing {{proposed deletion/dated}}
will stop the proposed deletion process, but other deletion processes exist. In particular, the speedy deletion process can result in deletion without discussion, and articles for deletion allows discussion to reach consensus for deletion. John from Idegon (talk) 01:39, 8 November 2018 (UTC)
- Hi! In order to keep the article you need more coverage that shows where he's notable for more than the death or a lot of coverage to show where this death has long term significance. Remember, local coverage is depreciated on Wikipedia, so non-local coverage should be a big focus here. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:48, 8 November 2018 (UTC)
David Mitchell (executive marine officer) moved to draftspace
editAn article you recently created, David Mitchell (executive marine officer), does not have enough sources and citations as written to remain published. It needs more citations from reliable, independent sources. (?) Information that can't be referenced should be removed (verifiability is of central importance on Wikipedia). I've moved your draft to draftspace (with a prefix of "Draft:
" before the article title) where you can incubate the article with minimal disruption. When you feel the article meets Wikipedia's general notability guideline and thus is ready for mainspace, please click on the "Submit your draft for review!" button at the top of the page. Jovanmilic97 (talk) 19:32, 8 November 2018 (UTC)
Your draft article, Draft:David Mitchell (executive marine officer)
editHello, Tittlere. It has been over six months since you last edited the Articles for Creation submission or Draft page you started, "David Mitchell".
In accordance with our policy that Wikipedia is not for the indefinite hosting of material deemed unsuitable for the encyclopedia mainspace, the draft has been nominated for deletion. If you plan on working on it further, or editing it to address the issues raised if it was declined, simply and remove the {{db-afc}}
, {{db-draft}}
, or {{db-g13}}
code.
If your submission has already been deleted by the time you get there, and you wish to retrieve it, you can request its undeletion by following the instructions at this link. An administrator will, in most cases, restore the submission so you can continue to work on it.
Thanks for your submission to Wikipedia, and happy editing. CptViraj (📧) 07:43, 4 July 2019 (UTC)
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