Tuj25134

Lusterware Paragraph: You did really well to expand the information by adding more content and citations. Maybe you can reword the opening sentence by breaking it into two sentences rather than it being just one extremely long sentence.

Understanding paragraph: I was looking over the original article and realized that you added this category. Is this paragraph essentially going to be placed before the Pre-modern wares section? If so, maybe you can give it a different title. Something like "Understanding lusterware" or "Production of Lusterware" because the paragraph focuses on the production of lusterware and where it came from/different ways lusterware was produced etc. Maybe a tittle that summarizes the over paragraph will be good. Overall, very detailed paragraph with clear citations.

Decorations: I think you have good details in this section. Maybe you can add how specific cultures like the Abbasids decorated lusterware. You also talked about monochrome and polychrome. This is good information. Maybe you can specify where/ what culture that idea of lusterware being mono/polychrome came from. Also, maybe adding that some lusterware in Islam culture were really covered because of "fear of free space" but as lusterware made appearance in different cultures, it had less decorations etc. For example "the bowl with inscription." Also I think a good source to use will be some of the articles we read in class about lusterware. (https://www.jstor.org/stable/23350366?seq=20#metadata_info_tab_contents). This link essentially takes you to a book about lusterware. Overall good paragraph

This is a good article! I'm assuming that you'll probably rearrange it beginning with "Lusterware", "Understanding/Production of Lusterware", "Decorations", "Pre-modern wares" , "Modern lusterware". I think everything connects well and ties in together! Goodjob!

— Preceding unsigned comment added by Bfrempong1 (talk • contribs)

Prof. Neumeier comments

Hi Olivia, some specific comments:

--Like your peer reviewer, I am also a little confused about how your two sections on Understanding Lusterware and Decoration will fit into the existing article. Will they replace text that is already there? Or are they new sections? There are a few places where you replace or overlap information already in the present article, so I would be interested to hear you explain what your plans are.

--At one point you write a few sentences about the origins of luterware "The discovery of this technique can be traced back...developed originally in Iraq, was revived in Egypt and Syria." This overlaps and somewhat contradicts information that already exists in the first paragraph of the "Pre-modern wares" section. Or do you intend to replace that text with these sentences? In any case, you should resolve this somehow.

--You need to add more information to the citation of Finbarr Flood, Gulru Necipoglu. "A companion to Islamic art and architecture". This is the edited volume, you need to add the specific book chapter you are using (title, author), and give the specific page number. Also, the link just takes you to the TU portal sign-in page, so you need to fix that (or delete the link)

--Citation 6 needs to be fixed, it just takes you to the TU portal, the link doesn't work and I do not understand what source you are citing: "Shibboleth Authentication Request". login.libproxy.temple.edu. Retrieved 2019-11-03.

--"Trading in the Middle East was very popular; inspiration was taken from many surrounding countries. While inventing art and architecture, the Islamic people replicated traditions such as porcelain from China. Trade within the Islamic world was best described with fine wares, such as Abbasid lusterware, where they traded between themselves.[4] The city of Baghdad, Iran and surrounding cities were located on the Silk Road which was the hub of trading during this period." (I am not sure what the point of this section is, are you discussing how lusterware traveled along trade routes, or Muslim craftsmen were adapting techniques for ceramic production from neighboring regions? Anyway, try to re-write this a bit so it is more clear how this information relates to lusterware)

--"To make lusterware, water is mixed with metal salts for decorating the pottery. inegar or mud are blended with metal salts to polish the surface of the pottery and give it a metal shine. [6]" (In this section you miss the important step of giving the pottery a second firing in a reduction kiln, which removes the oxygen from the metal oxides in the glaze, leaving behind just the metal deposited on the surface of the plate.)

--In your Decoration section, you should make it clear that you are talking specifically about Abbasid-era lusterware, because the Wikipedia article is for lusterware in general, throughout time.

--"The Islamic people took great pride in the lusterware and how they were perceived by many; the lustrous sheen that these pieces give off is delightful to the eye and has been adorned by many for centuries. The diversity between the designs of lusterware is endless and the variety plus technique is what makes these wares so desirable." (Be careful, the tone here starts to veer from neutral to celebratory, try to dial it down to be more descriptive.)

And edits to your text:

--"lower temperature in a "muffle kiln", reduction kiln, excluding oxygen." TO "lower temperature in a "muffle kiln", or a reduction kiln, excluding oxygen."

--"give a liuturous" TO "give a lustrous"

--"inegar or mud are blended " (do you mean Vinegar? Is this a typo?)

--"Art is the Islamic" TO "Art in the Islamic"

--"Some wares in Islam, though, were almost completely covered with decoration since the culture had a fear of free space." TO "At this point in time, there was an aesthetic preference for completely covering the surface of objects with ornamental decoration, and this is also the case for lusterware ceramics."

— Preceding unsigned comment added by E Neumeier (talk • contribs)