I really like the new structure you introduced on this page. You did a good job. The article is much clearer and easier to follow (red string). You also introduced much new information about the agronomic aspect of the species which is very interesting especially for agriculture scientists and students.
References
editTo write this article, you used many references. I think, this is a reason, why your article is quite complete and interesting. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Hoferv (talk • contribs) 22:03, 20 November 2012 (UTC)
The following references appear two or three times in the reference list. You can change this to have the reference only once in the list without losing the link in the text.
- Daniel Zohary and Maria Hopf, Domestication of plants in the Old World, third edition (Oxford: University Press, 2000), pp. 138f
- Ehrensing, D. T. and Guy, S. O. 2008. Camelina. EM 8953-E. Oregon State University Extension Service, Corvallis, OR, USA. [Online] Available: http://extension.oregonstate.edu/catalog/pdf/em/em8953-e.pdf [28 Sept. 2009].
In your Text: “Seeds contain 38 to 43% oil and 27 to 32% protein (Gugel and falk 2006).” Adapt citation to Wikipedia rules ( e.g. [1] ).
Orthography and sentence structure
editHistory
edit“until the modern harnessing of nnatural gas and propane and electricity“ (natural)
"According to Zohary and Hopf[5], until the 1940s, camelina was an important oil crop in eastern and central Europe, and currently has continued to be cultivated in a few parts of Europe for its seed oil, which was used, for example, in oil lamps (until the modern harnessing of nnatural gas and propane and electricity) and as an edible false flax oil."
This is a very long sentence. I suggest to separate it into two sentences: According to Zohary and Hopf[5], until the 1940s, camelina was an important oil crop in eastern and central Europe, and currently has continued to be cultivated in a few parts of Europe for its seed oil. This oil was used, for example, in oil lamps (until the modern harnessing of natural gas and propane and electricity) and as an edible false flax oil.
Content
editI think you shouldn’t keep your introduction about the creation of two new articles in your final article. But I’m sure you already planned to take this part out of your text.
- Distribution part: a distribution map of Camelina can be interesting.
- Animal Feed part: “Camelina seed ranges from 37 to 41% oil content and is high in omega-3 fatty acids.” This information is already written in the human use part. Write your sentence different, without % values.
- Which climate is adapted to cultivate Camelia sativa? Which altitude, range of temperature, precipitation? Is the plant frost or drought tolerant?
- Cultivation part: You speak about allelopathy. You could give some more details about this. For example which plants are affected (only in one sentence). You don't mention the harvesting time. This is also a point to complete.
Hoferv (talk) 15:56, 20 November 2012 (UTC)
Feedback for Valentin Theubet by Tobias Beeler
I think it was a good idea to bring some order in the articles. I especially liked the cultivation part. All the basic agronomic information’s are given. I think its very good that you put the yield in kg/ha and lb/acre in your text.
General things:
- I would take care that several things are in one style throughout the whole article:
- Free space between a number and the unit (120 cm).
- The citation number after the point at the end of a sentence.
- Make sure that similar sources will get the same number in the reference section. So everyone sees in the article that this is the same source (Reference 9, 10, 30, 31, 35 and 1, 5 are the same ).
It is relatively easy to avoid that problem (and it makes it lots easier to work in the text code): The first time in the text you implement that code (“paper 1” can be chosen freely and helps you to orientate yourself later): [1] (its really working..check it in the code!!)
Second: All the further times you just have to take: [1]
- some of the references are quite critical in their quality for example: “29 ^ Fiche technique, Agridea, Suisse”. I had no chance to find that reference. May you should specify such sources or put a URL link in this section.
- There are a few spelling mistakes and missing spaces.
My tip: Put the whole text in a word document and you will see all the mistakes!
Changes in the sentence structure and sense:
section History: In the first third of this section a nearly empty line exists.
- Old version: (until the modern harnessing of natural gas and propane and electricity)
- My version: (until natural gas, propane and electricity get more important))
Distribution:
- Old version:… also in South America, Australia, New Zealand.
- My version: …also in South America, Australia and New Zealand.
section Plant characteristics:
- Old version: A summer or winter annual plant, camelina grows to heights of 30 to 120cm..
- My version: As a summer or winter annual plant, camelina grows to heights of 30 to 120 cm..
- Old version: The 1,000-seed weight is range from 0.8 to 2.0 grams
- My version: ..is ranged from…
section Human food:
- Old version: Seeds contain 38 to 43% oil and 27 to 32% protein (Gugel and falk 2006)
- My version: 1. Make a normal citation or 2. Gugel and Falk (2006) found….
section Cultivation:
- Old version: …cereals or legumes (inspection Canada)
- My version: cereals or legumes (inspection Canada).
section: Invasive species:
- Old version: In fact, attempts to separate its seed from flax seeds with a winnowing machine over the years have selected for seeds which are similar in size to flax seeds, an example of Vavilovian mimicry.
- My version: The traditional strategy to eliminate that weed was a mechanical separation of the seeds. This strategy looses its efficacy due to a shape adaption in the seeds of the weed (called of Vavilovian mimicry — Preceding unsigned comment added by Beelert (talk • contribs) 20:28, 20 November 2012 (UTC)