User talk:Waverly Hart/sandbox

Latest comment: 7 years ago by Elinafelt

• A couple comma splices in the second and third paragraphs—check for that • Very clean, concise writing—nice job. Check for comma splices throughout the article. Also, the article would benefit from more citations. The structure of the article is also good and easy-to-follow. The sources are reliable and you remained neutral throughout the article. Nice job.

Hi Waverly! I agree that this is a crucial part of the movement that needs recognition and you do a good job of showing the variety within it. I like how you don't merely talk about musicians, but also record labels and music festivals. It's unclear to me, however, what parts of the article these paragraphs will fall under. Will they be their own new section on music or will they be in different sections throughout? I think you should clarify that by just writing what the heading(s) would be above the sections. I agree that you should also increase your use of citations. When I was writing my article, nearly every sentence had a citation. A particular place that seems like your own opinion, especially since it isn't cited, is the sentence that reads, "One of the most popular examples included the sisters Ann and Nancy Wilson, who formed the famous hard rock band Heart." Popular by whose standards? If you have a source that states that, cite it there. Your sources seem fairly good, but perhaps look into including some more scholarly articles to increase your citations. Overall, great job! Elinafelt (talk) 00:17, 31 March 2017 (UTC)Reply