Wikipedia:Drawing board/Archives/2008/April

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BCC Research

Have created in my mind a pretty decent article about the company I work for, and have made sure to maintain neutrality, but I always could use another set of eyes on the work. I think I have answered the questions of the previous editors and established notability. Any help is good help! BCC Research ArticleStuartfost (talk) 17:29, 28 March 2008 (UTC)

Hi Stuartfost, thanks for writing and my apologies for my delayed reply. I did find your article interesting, not least because your parent company has the same name as me! You might want to post a query over at Requests for feedback for more opinions, but let me give you my own analysis of the article. The first thing that struck me was that it reads more like an advertisement than an encyclopedia article. The conflict of interest guideline exists for the very real reason that it is very difficult to write dispassionately about something or someone you're closely associated with. The tone of an encyclopedia article should aim for a Joe Fridayesque "Just the facts, ma'am" approach. The second thing I noticed is that even though you footnoted the article quite well, the actual citations were left as bare links with short blurbs after them; that's not a good thing because of link rot. When formatting your citations you should be thinking of how your teachers and professors wanted them in your term papers- to make things easier there are citation templates you can just fill in that will format references in a standard format. The final, and most problematical, thing I noticed is that the article doesn't explain what makes the company notable enough to be included in the encyclopedia. Of the references you've provided, only three are secondary sources and the company is only mentioned peripherally as an information source- it's not the subject of any of the articles. The entrepreneur.com article is actually about Eli Research, so there's a possibility one could assert notability for them, but more information would really be needed even for that. In all honesty, if the article were to be moved to the main namespace I believe the article would end up getting deleted. There also a number of stylistic and formatting issues, but given what I've already said, I won't get into them. It really is a nicely written article and I think you've got great potential to make some great contributions to the project, but I think you should leave the writing of that particular article to someone else. There are lots of things to do around here that you could be of great help on. I'm sorry that my analysis is probably not what you wanted to hear, but I hope you will continue to contribute despite that. Best wishes. —Elipongo (Talk contribs) 07:03, 1 April 2008 (UTC)

Ice Road Profiling

Good day

I am thinking of writing an article on Ice Road Profiling. The technology used is already an article in Wikipedia (Ground Penetrating Radar) but the application of the technology has not been documented in that article and the use of it on ice roads is a very specific and unique use.

I am an employee of one of the trucking companies featured on the Ice Road Truckers (history channel) reality TV show, I am wondering if my expertise in the area of profiling, is citable and would be considered to be a reference to be used in the article. I have quite a bit of technical data concerning why and how ice profiling is accomplished and how ice loading works.

Your comments on this idea would be very welcome. Nmac-YK (talk) —Preceding comment was added at 13:52, 30 March 2008 (UTC)

Hi Nmac-YK! Thanks for your post and my apologies for my delayed reply. Ice Road Profiling sounds like a very interesting subject, but it would most likely be a better idea to add information to the Ice road article rather than starting off with a brand new independent article. There doesn't seem to a lot of information about the construction of such roads in that article and that data would be a welcome addition. A blurb on the subject in the Ground-penetrating radar article would probably be a good thing too. As to your question whether your personal expertise in the subject would be citable, I'm afraid the answer is no it is not. Wikipedia has a strict policy against original research and your own experience and expertise would count as such. You may, and are in fact encouraged to, provide citations to secondary, reliable sources that can support the information you add to the article- however anything you've written yourself should be used with great caution. Thanks again for your question and I look forward to your contributions! —Elipongo (Talk contribs) 08:07, 1 April 2008 (UTC)

Elipongo Thank you for your comments and suggestions. I will look at those acticles and see where I can contribute to them. Nmac-YK (talk) 22:34, 2 April 2008 (UTC)

Robert Thomas Moon

HISTORY OF ROBERT THOOMAS MOON

Robert Thomas Moon was born at St. Mary's hospital, in sothern Wisconsin, just north of Milwaukee. He was born on May 16 1984, it was a time of joy for the new parents (Larry and Judy Moon). Named after his two deceased grandparents Robert after his fathers father and Thomas after his mothers father. Robert Thomas went by other name durring his life: Robby, R.T., Robert, Roberto, and Moon well he was in college. Robert Thomas Moon has two younger siblings Cuyler Moon born March 28, 1986, and Amelia Moon born March 24, 1988.

SCHOOLING

Robert Thomas attended a few schools through out his days,

  University School of Milwaukee: he only went to this school for a breaf time
  Donges Bay: he attended this school from Kinergarden to fourth grade
  Brookfeild Academy: fifth all the way to graduation as twelth grader
  Maine Maritime Academy: after graduating Robert Thomas went off to college to become a merchant mareine durring which time he took a few years off to get some woking ecperiance under his belt.

WORK

Robert Thomas Moon worked on the Family Farm in northern Mequon, around the area that he lived in for many summers as a youth. then he went to college and worked on a ship in the Golf of Mexico, on a ship that drilled oil (I think).

Hobbies

Robert Thomas Moon enjoys:

the outdoors
being with his family
sailing
reading
playing video games
Japan 
food (fourien food in particular)

--—Preceding unsigned comment added by Sunflower17 (talk • contribs) 02:58, 1 April 2008

Hi Sunflower17 and thanks for your post. If, as I suspect, what you have written above is about yourself, you shouldn't create an article from it; autobiographies are strongly discouraged in the encyclopedia. If I am mistaken and you have written about someone else, please read our notability guideline to see if this person meets the threshold for inclusion as an article. In general a subject needs to have been non-trivially mentioned in multiple secondary, reliable sources that can be cited (preferably with footnotes) in the article to verify the information. If the above is an introduction of yourself, then welcome to Wikipedia! If you become a regular contributor, you may keep an introduction on your own user page. Hope this helps some, feel free to ask any more questions you may have. Again, welcome! —Elipongo (Talk contribs) 08:35, 1 April 2008 (UTC)

The Proofs that DNA Method is Wrong

The New Plato's Academy International An Elite University of the Ancient World President: Prof. Dr. Ivan Cvitanusic (Ph. D. in Philosophy) E-mail: Personal information removed to prevent spam/identity theft Tel. mob.: Personal information removed to prevent spam/identity theft A nonprofit organization

CONTRIBUTIONS - Your contributions please send to this account: Prof. Dr. Ivan Cvitanusic, n. Personal information removed to prevent spam/identity theft.

A New Golden Doctorate Degree Philosophy - Science, Physics, Medicine, Law, Fine Arts, History, Ancient and Modern languages, Literature, Architecture, Astronomy Let us make together a New Golden Doctorate Degree! To honorable governments, companies and individuals- for this purpose we are gentle asking your contributions! For donations and for acceptance of the honor to be the member please call above mentioned tel. mob.!

Again we established a famous Plato's Academy - an elite University of the Ancient World! This famous Academy was organized in the fourth century B.C. and lasted for one thousand years. After sixth century, when The Academy was extinguished, the whole world collapsed into the chaos and darkness! Wonderful, divine light from the Plato's Academy again was shortly ignited in the city of Florence in the 15th century (M. Ficino, C. De'Medici...) and rapidly (again!) disappeared! In the chaos of the Modern World we ignited a wonderful, divine light - we ignited an idea, ideology which can harmonize European and world nations! Best regards! /A. D. 27/07/ 2007/

ScienceBreakingNews ScienceBreakingNews

The Cause of Cancer is Discovered! The Proofs that DNA Method is Wrong! The Secret of the Name of Paris Finally, All Ancient Languages Are Reconstructed! The Divine Origin of Mrs. Dr. Christine Amanpour- chef CNN Correspondent! A New Golden Doctorate Degree!

Three fundamental substances (two mathematical- Pi, Phi, and one logical - Ra, which is a substance of the Sun) absolutely determine history, civilizations and all human beings. All ancient and modern languages and notions were done of these substances. For example: the name of ancient hero “Paris” and the name of the capital city of France is composed of two fundamental substances - “Pi” and “Ra”. The City of Paris was established by Egyptian god “Ra”. Therefore, the City of Paris is full of light, full of beauty, full of mystery... Therefore, the kings of France were honoured as sons of Sun- Egyptian “Ra”. All fundamental phonemes have an ancient Egyptian origin. What does mean the family name of Mrs. Dr. Christine Amanpour, chef CNN correspondent?! This name is composed of three fundamental phonemes-substances - “Ama(o)n”, “Pi” and “Ra”. The family of Amanpour’s is a direct descendent of two Egyptian gods- Aman (Amon) and “Ra”. Therefore, Mrs. Dr. Christine Amanpour is of the noblest aristocratic origin as Egyptian pharaohs! The name of Europe is composed of “Ra” and “Pi”. A particle “Proton” is composed of these substances: “Pi”, “Ra” and “Ton”. A particle “Photon” is composed of “Phi” and “Ton”.

The Cause of Cancer is Discovered!

A mortal illness cancer is consequence of product of “Pi”, “Phi” and “Ra” , when in the great acceleration, substance of Sun - “Ra” destroys human organs. One of the best medicine to prevent and to recover of this mortal illness is a clay, which completely absorbs the dangerous energy. Instead to prevent and to recover cancer patient, the modern medicine with accelerators and radiations makes worse the state of illness, and, finally, the cancer patients are killed.

The Proofs that DNA Method is Wrong

The criterions of DNA Method are fictional, noncoherent and wrong. A material particle that investigates DNA Method is just a consequence of transcendental conscience- of soul. Fundamental substance “Ra” (cause and criterion of existence of human being) can not be a subject of DNA Method. There are innumerable victims sentenced based on this wrong method.

Conditions to predict the future

These substances were mentioned by Plato as “absolute ideas”, by Iamblichus as “numbers”, and by Diodorus Siculus as “divine ideas”. It is amazing that this theory - law allows to predict the future of our civilization and the future of all human beings. This great, amazing discovery is presented in the novels of Prof. Dr. Ivan Cvitanusic “The Secret Wisdom of Philosopher Plato” and “The Dance of Nymphs”. Also, these facts are described in university manual- handbook “Physics, Medicine, Metaphysics” “The Secret Wisdom of Philosopher Plato” is proclaimed as one of the best novels of 20th century. “This novel”, the literary critics wrote, “is much better, more fascinating than novels of U. Eco and G. G. Marquez!”

The scientific article (15 pages) The title: The Magnificent discovery in the Linguistics, Philology and Science The cancer: the cause of mortal illness cancer and the best medicine to prevent it. Under this universal law is subjected the whole world and all human beings. The Discovery of Professor Cvitanusic is equal to the discoveries of Copernic and Einstein in the Astronomy and Physics. Even this Magnificent discovery is an Absolute science and the science of The Absolute which uncovers the structure of the matter and the structure of particles. This Magnificent discovery uncovers the origin of all languages, the origin of all ancient and modern peoples and even exactly the origin of the world. This discovery perfectly uncovers whole Epistemology, Cosmology and Genesis. Who is Jesus Christ?! In this article it will be published for the first time in the whole human history. Also (finally!), the Pharaonic and other ancient languages are perfectly reconstructed! Now we are in Croatia. We offer the exclusive right to publish this article.

About the Author:

Prof. Dr. Ivan Cvitanusic,Scientist, University Professor Croatian-Italian Scientist —Preceding unsigned comment added by 78.3.41.108 (talk) 14:30, 2 April 2008 (UTC)

Hello Dr. Cvitanusic and thank you for your note. The article you mention sounds very interesting, unfortunately Wikipedia does not publish original research or original thought. If you would like to add this information to an article please understand that citing material that you have written yourself should be undertaken only with extreme care. We welcome you to register for an account and create articles, but you should make sure that subjects you want to add conform to the encyclopedia's notability guidelines or they may be deleted. Also information you add should be cited to independently published secondary reliable sources to verify the information. Thanks again for your note and best wishes. —Elipongo (Talk contribs) 21:42, 3 April 2008 (UTC)

marissa jaret winokur

Marissa Jaret Winokur was born on 2 February 1973, New York. She has won Broadway's 2003 Tony Award as Best Actress (Musical) for her performance in Hairspray, with Mathew Morrison. She married Judah Miller on October 7 2006. Marissa is also the niece of S.J Perelman and Nathanael West. She grew up in Bedford Village, New York. Her father was a architect, but now he is retired. She is the youngest of four siblings.Her mother Maxine is a retired teacher. She studied musical theatre for two years at the American Musical and Dramatic Academy in Manhattan. She also joined the touring company of Grease, 1994-95, and later played Pink Lady Jan in Grease on Broadway (1995). Marissa met her to-be-husband in 1994 during a stage production of Grease. Eleven years later, they became engaged. In 2001, she got Cervical Cancer and survived. She quotes "I still cry, even when I get introduced as 'the Tony Award winning actress.'" Where Is She Now (2002) She is the leading lady in the Broadway musical, "Hairspray". (April 2004)She is filming a pilot for her new sitcom "The Furst Family". She is also starring in the movie picked up by the New Line Cinema "Always a Bridesmaid". She will be picking up the part of Tracy in the L.A. leg of the Hairspray tour. (June 2005) She is returning to her Tony award-winning role as Tracy Turnblad in "Hairspray" for 1 month. (March 2008) She is contestant on season 6 of "Dancing with the Stars". —Preceding unsigned comment added by 76.174.233.217 (talk) 00:11, 4 April 2008 (UTC)

Hello and thanks for your message! You should be glad to learn that Wikipedia already has an article for Marissa Jaret Winokur. Feel free to add information to that article, just be aware that biographies of living persons have strict rules that additions of material need to be cited from a secondary published reliable source to verify the information. Thanks again for your post and happy editing! —Elipongo (Talk contribs) 04:23, 4 April 2008 (UTC)

need feedback on article draft

I have written an article about Farm Fresh to You, a Community Supported Agriculture farm in California. I would like feedback! thank you!

Farm Fresh To You is a subscription Community Supported Agriculture provider of organic produce based in Capay Valley, California. The farm was started in 1976 by two-back-to-the-landers, Martin Barnes and Kathleen Barsotti who were raised in California suburbs.

Inspired by University of California, Davis professor Isao Fujimoto, the farm began as a garden on rented land. The couple helped to start the Davis Certified Farmers' Market (http://www.davisfarmersmarket.org/) and the Davis Food Coop Storefront (http://www.daviscoop.com/) before moving with their twin boys to 22 acres in Capay Valley in 1979. The farm was one of the earliest in Yolo County to have organic certification from the California Certified Organic Farmers (http://www.ibiblio.org/farming-connection/localcon/groups/ccof.htm)

Local sales were supplemented by sales to San Francisco Bay area farmers' markets and to wholesalers such as Veritable Vegetables (http://www.veritablevegetable.com/) and Greenleaf Produce (http://www.greenleafsf.com/) . Two more sons were born, but in 1990 the couple suffered a marital breakup leaving Kalthleen to manage the business. She founded the Farm Fresh to You subscription CSA in 1992, and it soon became an essential element in the farm's income.

Kathleen died from breast cancer in 2000 leaving her sons to inherit the farm. They expanded the farm, buying and renting land from neighbors, and establishing a retail store, Capay Organic, at the San Francisco Ferry Building.

By 2008 Farm Fresh to You had grown to over 4000 families in Northern California making it one of the largest CSA farms. The boys have kept alive the ideals of their pioneering parents by providing fresh, organically grown food, husbanding the land, and respecting the farm's employees.

LINKS/REFERENCES

Farm Fresh to You http://farmfreshtoyou.com

Fruit Grower News http://www.farmfreshtoyou.com/pdf/13_TheFruitGrowerNewsFeb2008.pdf

Davis Enterprise http://www.farmfreshtoyou.com/pdf/9_DavisEnterpriseJuly00.pdf

Agriculture Pioneer Award http://www.farmfreshtoyou.com/pdf/8_AgricultrePioneerAward.pdf

UC Small Farm News http://www.farmfreshtoyou.com/pdf/7_July1996UCSmallFarmNews.pdf

Flatmartin (talk) 21:00, 27 April 2008 (UTC)

Sorry for the delay in responding. I see you've already created the page! I've commented based on the version above. I hope my comments are helpful.

You've got some references: that's good, and basically your article is good. You need to make it sound less like an advertisement, though. (Maybe just changing the last sentence would do.)

I suggest wikilinking to Community-supported agriculture; check whether that page is talking about the same thing you mean here. (To wikilink, just put double square brackets around the phrase.)

Add a comma after "Barsotti".

Wikilink to University of California, Davis.

Maybe it's just me, but the phrase "Two more sons were born," seems out of place to me, since you were talking about the farm earlier in the paragraph, not about the family. "The couple had two more sons" would fit in much better IMO.

Put a comma after "marital breakup".

This sentence is good: "The farm was one of the earliest in Yolo County to have organic certification from the California Certified Organic Farmers" because an article has to assert the importance or significance of the subject in order to avoid speedy deletion. This sentence is also good for the same reason: "By 2008 Farm Fresh to You had grown to over 4000 families in Northern California making it one of the largest CSA farms. " It would make sense to move this information into the first paragraph, both to assist the reader, who probably wants to get an idea of what the farm is like now, and to avoid having someone carelessly speedy-delete it if they don't read the whole thing carefully. (Are these 4000 families running the farm, or are they customers? Please clarify.)

Put a comma after "breast cancer in 2000".

Put a comma after "By 2008".

This sentence reads too much like an advertisement: "The boys have kept alive the ideals of their pioneering parents by providing fresh, organically grown food, husbanding the land, and respecting the farm's employees." It needs to be toned down drastically or just deleted, to avoid having the article speedy-deleted as an advertisement.

Thanks for contributing to Wikipedia!☺ Coppertwig (talk) 11:55, 29 April 2008 (UTC)