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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/2005 ACC Championship Game/archive1

< Wikipedia:Featured article candidates | 2005 ACC Championship Game
The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted 00:05, 28 March 2008.

2005 ACC Championship Game

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Self-nominated. This is a companion article to the FA-class 2007 ACC Championship Game article. JKBrooks85 (talk) 04:59, 13 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • Comments. I have some copyediting concerns.
  • *I think the information about the conference asking to hold a championship in 2004 is irrelevant to this article.
      • Added a link to the main article.
    • The tone of this article is way too colloquial. It reads too much like sports commentary than an encyclopedia article. I've done a copyediting pass to try to tone that down, but I think there is more to do.
      • Well, I do newspaper writing professionally. It's just how I write; more than a few years of experience have ingrained that it me, and it's been good enough in other FACs. I would, however, really appreciate someone like yourself pointing out the more egregious examples.
        • That actually explains a lot :) I think your prose overall flows well, but I worry that some of the more colorful turns of phrase are unnecessary and could confuse people unfamiliar with US slang. The article is already full of football jargon (and really has to be), so the tighter the rest of the prose is, the easier people will understand it. The ones that generally bother me are things like "ran into a roadblock", "cast as", "headed into", "came out to a hot start," etc. I removed a lot during my copyediting pass, and I think it's decent now. Karanacs (talk) 02:04, 27 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
      • "the Hokies ran into a roadblock"
        • Replaced.
      • Please try to limit the number of times "heading into the [inaugural] champsionship game" is used
        • Done.
    • This sentence makes little sense and doesn't add much to the article "Virginia Tech quarterback Marcus Vick was cast as the key for the favored Virginia Tech Hokies on the field heading into the game"
      • Reworded.

Karanacs (talk) 15:55, 24 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments:

  • Bolded part in the lede should not be wikilinked
    • Unlinked, linked later in lede.
  • Don't wikilink dates without year; November 5 and December 17
  • "difficult Atlantic Division " difficult how?
    • Clarified.
  • Virginia should be wikilinked with their football page
    • Linked.
  • What is a touchdown?
    • Linked on first reference, unlinked on second.
  • "Virginia Tech defeated Duke and Ohio by scores of 45–0, then hosted #15 Georgia Tech, beating the Yellow Jackets by a score of 51–7.[8] The Virginia Tech defense held Duke's offense to just 35 total yards, an NCAA record." Did VT beat both Ohio and Duke by a score of 45-0 each? Its unclear. Also, it talks about Duke, Ohio, GT, than goes back to Duke. I think all Duke info should go together.
    • Reworded and rearranged.
  • Tight end is wikilinked at least twice. The first quarterback isnt wikilinked.
    • Unlinked and linked.

Overall looks good. I will go through it again, but this is a start. PGPirate 23:55, 24 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • Few more fixes, on my second look.
    • Location should follow this template: [[City, State|City]], [[State]]
    • Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets football => 2005 Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets football team
      • Relinked.
      • University of North Carolina => either to the yearly article or football team
        • Relinked.
    • First mention of Atlantic Division should be wikified
      • Linked first reference, unlinked second.
    • I think Atlantic Coast Conference only needs to be wikified once.
      • Fixed.
      • It seems like a lot of words are wikilinked more than once. I always thought editors wikify the first instance of the word, and thats it. Maybe I am wrong, just saying.
        • I tend to link football terms more than once in order to help out folks who may not be as familiar with college football. I try to space out the linked terms, but if there's a specific example you'd like me to remove, let me know.
    • The 2007 Louisville Cardinals football team did not play in a bowl game.
      • Relinked.
    • Maybe split this sentence up "The 2005 Atlantic Coast Conference (ACC) Championship Game was a regular-season American football contest at Jacksonville Municipal Stadium in Jacksonville, Florida between the Virginia Tech Hokies and the Florida State Seminoles in a game that decided the winner of the Atlantic Coast Conference football championship."
      • Split.
    • "Virginia Tech entered the game having won the 2004 ACC Championship...." would season be a better word than game?
      • Excellent suggestion. Fixed.
    • "With the addition of Boston College, the ACC consisted of 12 teams, allowing it to hold a conference championship game under NCAA rules.[4] A request to the NCAA by conference officials to hold the game following the 2004 season was rejected, and so the league's first championship game had to wait until after Boston College's addition." I think these sentences should be switched. It goes from the 2005 season to 2004 back to 2005.
      • Switched.
    • "In their ninth game, however, Virginia Tech stumbled." If possible, it might be interesting to have their rank after the 8th game
      • Added.
- PGPirate 17:29, 26 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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