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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Alberto Henschel/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by User:SandyGeorgia 15:02, 16 July 2008 [1].

Alberto Henschel

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Nominator(s): Idontknow610TM

I'm nominating this article for featured article because I translated it from the Portuguese Wikipedia, where it is featured, and I believed it is well-referenced, well-written, has sufficient images, and therefore meets the FA criteria. I would be more than happy to read any comments that would help improve the article. Idontknow610TM 22:52, 9 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • Per WP:MOS the use of graphic quotation marks, the {{cquote2}}, is frowned upon.
Otherwise sources look okay. Links checked out with the link checker tool. I wasn't able to evaluate the non-English sources. Ealdgyth - Talk 13:48, 10 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Which quotation marks do you advise me to use? Idontknow610TM 17:19, 10 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
You can use HTML blockquotes or {{quotation|... }} See WP:MOS. —Mattisse (Talk) 21:12, 10 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed. Idontknow610TM 21:15, 10 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed. Idontknow610TM 22:04, 10 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • The first paragraph seems to have some grammatical screw ups in it. Here is a suggestion:
Considered as the most dilligent businessman of the photography in the 19th century in Brazil,[3] with offices in Pernambuco, Bahia, Rio de Janeiro, and São Paulo,[4] Henschel was also the responsible of for the arrival of professional photographers to the country, like such as his compatriot Karl Ernest Papf—with whom he later worked—and his son, Jorge Henrique Papf,[3] that who would succeed his father in the branch of photography.[5]

—Mattisse (Talk) 22:06, 10 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

P.S. FAC likes the use of em-dashes for dashes like you have above. —Mattisse (Talk) 22:09, 10 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed. This grammatical errors always occur in translations. Thanks. Idontknow610TM
Since it translated from Portuguese, I could run through it and removed some of the obvious problems related to translating. Do you want me do do that? I would not make any changes of meaning. —Mattisse (Talk) 22:15, 10 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Sure, that would be very helpful! Thanks! Idontknow610TM 22:27, 10 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I hope what I did is all right. It is a very interesting article. I wish there was more information! I delinked the dates because the FAC people don't like dates linked unless there is a specific reason for a date to be linked. Also, I could not get the notes to work. Hopefully, FAC editors will give more feedback, as I am not an expert as to all their rules. I am willing to help you out as much as I can. —Mattisse (Talk) 23:28, 10 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Thank very much for your help, I think you did a more than excellent job. I also cannot get the notes to work, that's really weird. I also hoped the article would be a bit more extensive, but unfortunately there is not much information about Alberto Henschel. Again, I really thank you for your help! Cheers, Idontknow610TM 23:35, 10 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The date linking isn't quite correct here: please see the note I left at Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/United Airlines Flight 93. The guideline recently changed and not everyone understands it yet. Some of the dates are linked in this article now, while others aren't; this isn't correct (the date linking has to be consistent, whichever method is used). Also, see WP:MOSDATE regarding use of of in dates. Also, WP:DASH does not prefer emdashes over endashes; the two types of dashes used on Wiki to indicate interruption (punctuation) are spaced endashes and unspaced emdashes. For interruption (punctuations), it's ok to use endashes if they are spaced, or emdashes if they are unspaced, as long the article is consistent. However, the dashes in this article are now incorrect; the opening date now has an emdash, when endashes are used on date and number ranges (not emdashes, which are never spaced). Please see WP:DASH for a full explanation of the different uses of endashes (spaced and unspaced) and emdashes (always unspaced), or raise questions there. Both date linking and dashes are currently incorrect in this article. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 07:16, 12 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I started a thread at MOSDATE about the new date linking, where you can followup with further questions, so it won't take over the FAC page. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 07:11, 12 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Is it OK now? Idontknow610TM 12:18, 12 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The article still has partial date linking and solo year linking. Solo years and centuries are rarely linked (only if really needed for context), and all dates should either be linked or not, consistently. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 22:38, 12 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Al this linking thing is really confusing, I am still not sure what to link and what to not. Do we realy need this bureaucracy for FAC? Idontknow610TM 23:32, 12 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
All right, I just delinked all dates, years, centuries, etc. Only in the references of websites I didn't, for I am not sure if I am supposed to. Idontknow610TM 14:18, 13 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oppose for now. Here are the first few comments...more to come.
    • Per Wikipedia:Manual_of_Style_(dates_and_numbers)#Dates_of_birth_and_death, don't include the locations of birth/death with the dates in the first sentence of lead.
    • The antecedents section seems extremely out of place to me. I expect a biography to begin with information about the person.
    • I think that the "Life" section heading should be removed and the other headings be brought up one.
    • "It is assumed that Alberto Henschel also met the photographer Francisco Benque " - can you specify who assumes this (perhaps a scholar's name).
This is what the source given at the end of the sentence states. —Mattisse (Talk) 16:24, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • Did all of the changes that are listed in the first paragraph of 1860s happen in 1866 while he was still partnered with Gutzlaff?
    • " where he updated his technique and acquired new equipment for his atelier of photography" - any information about what new techniques or equipment he learned/found
    • "By opening three establishments in only two years, Henschel was thought of as the most audacious and sagacious photographic businessman in 19th century Brazil" - this type of claim needs to be attributed to someone -- who thought of him that way.
    • When he "separated from Gutzlaff", who kept the stores?
    • Any information about why he chose to make portraits of people of African origin? Any details on how his pictures "portrayed them freely and with dignity as people and not as objects"
    • Quotations of less than 4 lines should not be offset. They should instead be part of the paragraph.
    • Images should not be on the left directly under a heading that is greater than 3 levels (there is an issue at 1870s)
    • I'd recommend a good copyedit by someone who is not familiar with the article.
    • I'm not sure what carte de visite format is. Can this be explained a bit?
It is wikilinked, and, as the link explains, means business or visiting card format. —Mattisse (Talk) 16:22, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • Any details on what was "the latest equipment appropriate for the instantaneous portraits of children"
    • Is there any information on his personal life? Did he marry or have children? How did he die?
    • I don't feel like I have more than a cursory understanding of who he was or how he worked. There aren't enough details to bring him to life or to really help me understand why his photography was important.

Karanacs (talk) 01:14, 14 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • Oppose—The writing is only reasonable in quality. I notice little glitches, so I'd be pleased if someone new could go through the whole text properly. Should be a long job. Here are examples—
    • MOS breach: Dom Pedro caption no dot, please. Check other captions.
    • Viena—spelling
    • "Because of the quality of his work and his success achieved in the Court"—spot the redundant word.
    • I've removed some of the trivial links: please weed the rest out. "Germany" should not be linked; certainly not repeatedly. Photography and businessman? Nobility? We do speak English: just let us read it without bright-blue obstruction.
    • "the recently discovered country aroused the interest of Germany"—last word is vague. Who? What class of people there?
    • "and the new species of plants[3] first related in the fantastic works of Hans Staden."—"fantastic" is ambiguous here; a lot of readers won't get it. "related" is not a good word here (try "conveyed"?).
    • Why the big box for the quote? Won't blockquote alone suffice? Interferes with the look of the page.
    • "arrived in Berlin"—add "had". TONY (talk) 08:23, 16 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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