Wikipedia

Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/All God's Children Need Traveling Shoes/archive1

< Wikipedia:Featured article candidates
The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Ian Rose 00:38, 23 July 2013 (UTC) [1].[reply]

All God's Children Need Traveling Shoes

edit

All God's Children Need Traveling Shoes (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

Toolbox
Nominator(s): Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 20:14, 20 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured article because as part of my on-going effort to improve Maya Angelou articles, it's next in line. I believe that it's ready to be reviewed here. A question that comes up in almost every review of these articles is regarding capitalization. Here's the explanation:[2] Thanks, and enjoy. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 20:14, 20 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • Support. I was the reviewer who passed this article's GA nomination two years ago. All my concerns were addressed at that time, and since then article has improved slightly. It is very well-sourced, with consistent formatting, and the prose is clear and compelling. The three free images are on Commons and have no problems, and the single non-free image is used appropriately with a valid rationale. The sections (particularly on "themes" and "style" are well organized and free of POV problems. – Quadell (talk) 11:41, 21 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, guys. Re: Hawkeye7: there already is an Angelou overview FT. My longer-term goal is to form a FT of her works, but there's a lot of work to be done. This article and A Song Flung Up to Heaven needs to be passed to FA; I need to expand Mom & Me & Mom, her 7th autobiography, which just came out this year; other articles about her books of essays, poetry, and other of her less-important works need expansion. Perhaps by the end of the year. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 17:38, 23 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Source review - spotchecks not done

  • FN12 is broken
  • FN9, 21, 30: page(s)?
  • FN57, 59, 76: accessdate?
  • FN66, 77, 78, 80, 81: possible to link the short cite?
  • Why is Works cited all italicized?
  • Hagen: which university press? Nikkimaria (talk) 02:26, 24 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
All the above fixed. I dunno why the "Works cited" is italicized. Another editor imposed the cite template on it, so I'm unfamiliar with it. BTW, this is the exact reason why I'm philosophically opposed to citation templates. I'll dig up said editor and ask for assistance. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 00:11, 25 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I have searched the entire article for any misplaced double apostrophes (the command for italics), but found none, so I am baffled as to why the entire section is italicized. I will keep searching for the cause. --Another Believer (Talk) 19:25, 25 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I have also searched the entire article for any quotation marks that may have been mistaken for double apostrophes, but found none. Christine, funny you mentioned a dislike for citation templates--this is why I like citation templates! (The templates result in fewer punctuation marks and more consistency, making mistakes easier to find, but that's just imo.) I will keep searching... --Another Believer (Talk) 20:06, 25 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I wonder if the issue was the "id cite" template, which I believe has been discontinued. AB, I think you're awesome, really I do--but I respectfully disagree. I've had much more difficulties with templates than by formatting templates by hand. Print publications face the same issues with consistency and errors, but careful observation by copy-editors correct them. It's the way it was done for centuries, before templates, so there's no reason why we can't depend upon each other to ensure they're right. We do it for other things; why not for citations? I suspect that I'm in the minority in this opinion, but I can control it in the articles I manage. Like this one--I went ahead and removed the harvard citations that someone added, so the short citations don't have links anymore. It's my understanding that the format doesn't matter as much as consistency, which is way it is now. Now I'll move on to things that will make my time more productive, thank you. ;) Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 21:15, 25 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
No worries, I am just glad you were able to address the problem. I wish I could have been more help. I agree with you that the formatting here was confusing... I do not often work with "id cite" or harvard citations. (My comment re: templates was simply about "cite web", "cite book", "cite news", etc. templates.) I don't know who formatted the references for this article, but it was not me. You took the time to expand the article, so I am happy the references are now formatted your way! --Another Believer (Talk) 21:43, 25 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Mostly looking good now, though points 3 and 4 from above don't seem to have been addressed. Nikkimaria (talk) 04:05, 9 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
The numbers must have been changed since your initial review, Nikki. I guessed that you wanted accessdates for the Martinson interview. I'm not sure I know what you mean by "link the short cite". Could you repeat the refs in question, unless the issue's already been resolved? Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 21:41, 10 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Oops, no longer relevant since you removed the templates, sorry. All good now. Nikkimaria (talk) 21:57, 10 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Image review

All images have valid licenses. Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:48, 24 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I don't know how to make those nifty maps that expand larger geographical areas. Perhaps I can look into that, although I hope it doesn't affect this FAC. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 00:11, 25 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
The map highlights Greater Accra, the region. The article refers mostly to Accra, the city. Would an image like this be more suitable (option 1)? Or perhaps a locator map, using Wikicode such as the following? – Quadell (talk) 00:50, 25 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
{{Location map|Ghana|width=150|float=left|caption=Most of the action of ''All God's Children Need Traveling Shoes'' takes place in [[Accra, Ghana]].|label=[[Accra]]|position=bottom|lat_deg=5.55|lon_deg=-0.2}}
Ooo, it's so much prettier now! Happily replaced. Thanks, man! Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 18:25, 25 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Spotchecks by User:Quadell.

(Footnotes below refer to this version):

  • 3c: Quote is accurate.
  • 7: The brief quotes are accurate, faithful in context, and do not use to much of Lupton's own words.
  • 17: It seems to me that "Lupton, pp. 98-99" would be more accurate than "Lupton, p. 98". The article's statement is clearly supported by the text. Good analysis, no plagiarism.
  • 26: Quote is correct and representative of the source in context.
  • 43b: Statement is fully supported by the source. No plagiarism.
  • 51: Statement is fully supported by the source. No plagiarism.
  • 59: Statement is supported by source, and is frankly more concise and clear than the source. No plagiarism.
  • 66: The analysis in the statement is a good summary of the material in the source.
  • 69a: Both the quote and the summary are faithful to the review, without copying too much prose unnecessarily.
  • 71: Quote is accurate.

Conclusion: Sourcing is great. No corners cut. – Quadell (talk) 21:54, 28 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I see that I missed ref 17; now fixed. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 15:30, 14 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Dr. Blofeld

edit
  • Lead:
  • Pipe Accra, Ghana separately.
  • "with the horrible and traumatic car accident" traumatic is sufficient enough here, no car accident is "nice", remove horrible.
  • "At the book's end" =end of the book (looks better).
1st three addressed.
  • "Racism continues to be important in this book, but she has matured in the way she deals with it in Traveling Shoes." A bit vague, you mention her maturity a lot as a writer without really touching on what it is about and why issues such as racism are important and how she deals with them. As the reader this doesn't really inform me of anything.
Rewrote sentence and replaced confusing part with something more clear. Hope it helps clarify. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 22:02, 26 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "All God's Children Need Traveling Shoes was greeted with both praise and disappointment, although reviews of the book were generally positive." You mean All God's Children Need Traveling Shoes "received a mixed reception from critics". I think that the lead needs improvement to inform the reader about the book. FOr instance you already mentioned that African and American identities were important and then you say the same thing again further down "according to scholar Mary Jane Lupton, "Angelou's exploration of her African and African-American identities"[2] is an important theme in Traveling Shoes." So a restructure is needed to make it flow better.
Writing leads has always been one of my weakest areas as an editor. I did as you asked, and restructured, removed, and added stuff. Does it flow better now? Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 22:23, 26 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Yes that's certainly better Christine, excellent work.♦ Dr. ☠ Blofeld 06:06, 27 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Background:
  • " The success of Angelou's previous autobiographies and the publication of four volumes of poetry had brought Angelou a considerable amount of fame by 1986." needs citations.
  • Title. Overlink of spiritual, remove the second link.
  • Plot summary -Overlink of University of Ghana, remove the second link.
Previous two fixed.
  • "Angelou strengthens her ties with "Mother Africa" while traveling through eastern Ghanaian villages," What is meant by "Mother Africa" in this context?
I don't think that the Plot summary is a place to explain it, so I removed the poetic quality of the phrase and kept Africa.
  • "She connects her departure from Africa with the forced slavery of her ancestors and her departure from Guy." you mean she likens her departure from Africa metaphorically to the others?
Again, I was being poetic. To make it clear that it wasn't literal, I added the word "metaphorically", which follows your suggestion, I think.
  • Genre The tense comes across as rather awkward in parts. "Angelou states in a 1989 interview that she is the only "serious" writer to choose the genre to express herself". It should be rewritten in past tense Angelou stated in a 1989 interview, I'd change much of it to past tense.
Did I do enough?
  • "Angelou states in a 1989 interview that she is the only "serious" writer to choose the genre to express herself.[19] As critic Susan Gilbert states, " Repetition of the word state, please change one of the words to avoid this.
Changed the first sentence.
  • Problem with continuity, In a 1983 interview with African-American literature critic Claudia Tate, Angelou calls her books autobiographies. then you revisit this in the next paragraph as "Angelou recognizes that there are fictional aspects to all her books; she tends to "diverge from the conventional notion of autobiography as truth". I'd be inclined to write it as Although Angelou referred to her books as biographies in 1983 interview with African-American literature critic Claudia Tate, she acknowledges that there are fictional aspects to all her books, with the tendency to "diverge from the conventional notion of autobiography as truth". This should be together, in my opinion.
  • "Although Angelou has never admitted to changing the facts in her stories, she has used these facts to make an impact with the reader." -citation needed
Section done. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 15:44, 30 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Style Remove "horrible", name me a car accident which isn't.
  • "Critic Sondra O'Neale insists that this technique both centralizes each installment and connects each book in the series with each other; additionally, each volume "ends with abrupt suspense"." Use of the colon and additionally here look awkward, noting that each volume "ends with abrupt suspense" will do.
  • "In Traveling Shoes, Angelou continues to demonstrates" -demonstrate.
  • I find this section rather tedious to read because of the frequent "As Hagen reports", as scholar "Mari Evans says" etc. By going back to different authors it makes the information look a little haphazard, a little snappy in terms of phrasing. I'd prefer a "cleaner" approach if you know what I mean, organizing one author's input then the next and organizing the details better.
Section done. It's come to my attention lately that I can tend to be a little overzealous in giving credit where credit is due. Other editors have been harsher than you've just been, and have said that this practice reads too much like a college freshman essay. Perhaps, but it's probably more likely due to my lack of confidence as a writer, and my reluctance to be more creative in my article writing. I'm working on that. From now on, before I submit articles for review, I'll go over them and try and correct it more. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 16:08, 30 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Themes Motherhood: Good section, "but Angelou intimidates in Traveling Shoes that motherhood is never over" I don't think intimidates is the right word here.
Thanks. I think I was going for "intimated", but that's not right, so I changed it to "implies".
  • ""Sister friend" -why the capitalization?
Because Angelou capitalizes it.
  • "Racism, an important theme in all of Angelou's autobiographies, continues to be important in this book, but she has matured in the way she deals with it in Traveling Shoes. " This sentence belongs at the beginning of the paragraph.
  • Journey: Link the Accra airport article.
  • Reception:
  • "Reviewer Janet A. Blundell found the book "absorbing reading";[77] reviewer Jackie Gropman stated that the "prose sings"." and will do here instead of colon.
  • "All God's Children Need Traveling Shoes was also greeted with disappointment" greeted with disappointment is odd, I'd write it as "Some critics were less favorable in their views of the book".
All the above done.
  • References Please place all books in bibliography and just add the page notes above.
I believe you're talking about the times when books are referred to once. It's my practice, and I believe that it's accurate, to place books in the Bibliography if they're used more than once. If not, I put the full ref in the "Citations" section. If it's a big deal for you, I can follow your suggestion, but I'd prefer not to.

My feeling overall is that it certainly contains the content needed for this to pass FA but it doesn't always use the material in the best way. In a few parts, especially Genre, the text is a little convoluted and haphazardly constructed and I don't think it is always written in the polished, structured way I'd expect of an FA, although I think some of the lower sections are excellent. My feeling is that it needs some serious thought into the wording in parts and is often in need of a better structure and focus. I think some copyediting is really needed on this before I feel happy supporting what is otherwise a very good article. If you can address these concerns and try to improve this further I'd lean towards supporting this. ♦ Dr. ☠ Blofeld 11:11, 26 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the input. I'll do another copy-edit run-through to correct some of the clunkiness you're talking about, and then let you know when I'm ready for you to take another look. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 16:59, 30 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Support Sorry for the delay. Looks better now!♦ Dr. ☠ Blofeld 09:08, 6 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Pretty sure that I've taken care of this. Thanks. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 16:55, 14 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Featured_article_candidates/All_God%27s_Children_Need_Traveling_Shoes/archive1&oldid=1038038293"