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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Alloxylon flammeum/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by User:Ian Rose 10:13, 8 February 2013‎ [1].

Alloxylon flammeum

edit
Nominator(s): Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:26, 20 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Short and sweet – I am nominating this for featured article because it's about as comprehensive as it could possibly be as I've read everything I can find on it. Not very long but has come together nicely and I like to finish the job. I even took some nice photos and have it growing in my garden :) Have at it... Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:26, 20 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments. Did you miss the following article? Sasata (talk) 14:29, 20 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Title: Vegetative cutting and in vitro propagation of the tree waratah, Alloxylon flammeum P-Weston and Crisp (family Proteaceae)
Author(s): Donovan, NJ; Offord, CA; Tyler, JL
Source: AUSTRALIAN JOURNAL OF EXPERIMENTAL AGRICULTURE Volume: 39 Issue: 2 Pages: 225-229 DOI: 10.1071/EA97106 Published: 1999
Hmmm, I think in looking in my library digitally I came up with a more general one when searching for this one - found now and useful. Will add in a sec. added now. Casliber (talk · contribs) 19:32, 20 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • this source says it is slow growing and may not flower for 7–8 years (but flowers in 2 years in the tropics under ideal conditions); this is a bit more specific than what's currently given in the article. It also mentions it's sensitive to frost, and it has a range map. Also mentions that it should not be fertilized.
aaah, the range map there is of where it can be grown, not where it occurs. I can do up a map later tonight though. The Burke book is a bit clumsy though as it likes fertiliser, just they can't have a high phosphorus content (as it itself says, using a native fertiliser. straight after. Still it does have some good stuff to add which I will do soonish. I am wary about the frost assumption given it has been grown in Melbourne. Burke and others have assumed Queensland plants would not tolerate cold and been wrong before. Pre Xmas clutter here...... Casliber (talk · contribs) 07:05, 22 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
range map added now Casliber (talk · contribs) 13:31, 23 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • since the target article (EPBC Act) doesn't explain it, perhaps it might be good to mention what a "vulnerable" classification means (available here)
Good find - I was looking for something like that. Added now - wasn't sure whether to do verbatim plus quotation marks or reword. Went with latter but not averse to former. Casliber (talk · contribs) 13:01, 22 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • any picture of the seeds?
aargh, there is a big plant in the botanic gardens. Might take a look today if I get a chance. Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:52, 22 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
I've uploaded a picture of the seed pods here. Please feel free to use or not use as you see fit. --Melburnian (talk) 02:15, 23 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Just went out and snapped one now from a street tree near my house...but yours is better, so added now Casliber (talk · contribs) 07:04, 23 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • if your garden plant has flowers, any chance you could snap a clear, close-up pic? The current lead pic is acceptable, but if you've got the material at hand … If not, I think File:‪Alloxylon flammeum flwr rbgsyd email.jpg‬ is a superior image (lighting could be better though). Consider putting a picture of the entire plant in the taxobox, and close-ups of other bits elsewhere. If you've still got an immature potted plant, consider retaking the picture with better lighting, proper framing, and minus the distracting household stuff :)
I switched images - tree in taxobox, closeup of flower in description section. My plants are too young for flowers, and I have planted them in the garden now. Casliber (talk · contribs) 07:02, 22 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • how does this species differ from A. pinnatum?
added Casliber (talk · contribs) 19:41, 22 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • ref #7 (Zich & West, Factsheet) gives some extra details about the flowers, fruits, and seedlings
details added - some material on seedlings at beginning of section. Casliber (talk · contribs) 01:30, 23 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
added Casliber (talk · contribs) 19:55, 22 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
I like all the new additions (you gave me everything I wanted ... must be Christmas or something). I don't suppose you could clonestamp out the power line in the lead pic? I'll be back with a prose review in the next few days (visitors have arrived so free time is spotty). Sasata (talk) 16:37, 23 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
trimmed image and removed powerline now. Casliber (talk · contribs) 20:04, 24 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "It has shiny green leaves, and prominent orange-red inflorescences which appear in spring, followed by rectangular woody seed pods which ripen in late summer." which->that (x2); spring/summer not optimal according to WP:SEASON
changed Casliber (talk · contribs) 23:51, 29 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Described formally by Peter Weston and Mike Crisp in 1991, it was designated the type species" "It" slightly ambiguous here (the initial specimen? the one cultivated? the subject of the article?)
changed Casliber (talk · contribs) 23:51, 29 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • link canopy, Mabi rainforest
linked Casliber (talk · contribs) 23:54, 29 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "indicate that the species is bird pollinated." -> "indicate that the species is pollinated by birds." better?
tweaked Casliber (talk · contribs) 23:54, 29 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • The lead is a little short. I don't see anything about cultivation, and you could include some basic morphology (e.g., how tall does it grow, how long are the leaves), and briefly mention why it's considered vulnerable.
tweaked, so all these items are in the lead now...I have massaged the lead and the cultivation sections...how do they look now? Casliber (talk · contribs) 05:34, 4 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "this is a rainforest tree which can reach" which->that
changed Casliber (talk · contribs) 05:07, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The new growth is hairy." is this referring to new bark?
branchlets and leaves - clarified Casliber (talk · contribs) 14:22, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "but then have narrow elliptic entire leaves" I think the average reader is less likely to know what "entire" means than "elliptic"
changed Casliber (talk · contribs) 14:23, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "These are then succeeded by juvenile leaves which have" which->that (please audit throughout; which generally follows a comma)
changed Casliber (talk · contribs) 05:07, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "These are then succeeded by juvenile leaves which have two to nine lobes arising at 30 to 40 degrees forwards" cannot picture what this is trying to say
The leaves are pinnate, and the lobes are pointed towards the apex at 30-40 rather than being perpendicular to the axis of the leaf. Maybe aligning the photo here will help Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:16, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Want to make sure I'm reading this correctly … the juvenile leaves are up to 50 cm, but the adult leaves are only up to half that long?
yup - weird I know. I suspect the larger juvenile leaves are for low light conditions in the understory, but I have not seen that discussed. Casliber (talk · contribs) 05:07, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The pedicel and the outer surface of the perianth pubescent (covered in short fine fur)." fix
fixed Casliber (talk · contribs) 05:07, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The seedlings have obovate (egg-shaped)" obovate has already been wikt-linked previously, so the gloss should be removed (or moved to earlier)
fixed Casliber (talk · contribs) 05:08, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The New Guinea species A. brachycarpum resembles A. flammeum but has duller flowers and shorter wider leaves, and fewer hairs on its perianth." How about "The New Guinea species A. brachycarpum resembles A. flammeum but has duller flowers, leaves that are shorter and wider, and fewer hairs on its perianth."
tweaked Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:00, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • if the pollen colour of A. pinnatum is mentioned in the description section as a character to distinguish it from A. flammeum, the pollen colour of the latter should be given as well.
added Casliber (talk · contribs) 12:41, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • link Trinity Bay, Tolga Scrub
linked Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:13, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and what became known as Oreocallis sp. nova." shouldn't that be novum?
Oreocallis is feminine, hence "nova". Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:00, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Aside from tree waratah, it has also been called the satin oak, pink silky oak, satin silky oak, tree waratah,"
oops, fixed. Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:00, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The genus name is derived from Ancient Greek allo- "other" or "strange" and xylon or "wood" due to" I think ", and refers to" works better than "due to" as the latter implies a cause/effect that doesn't seem to fit
agree/tweaked Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:00, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "along with the true waratahs (Telopea), and Oreocallis and Chilean firetree (Embothrium coccineum) from South America." and … and
tweaked Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:00, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "hence the subtribe's origin and floral appearance most likely predates" ->predate
fixed Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:00, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • link sister species, understory, invasive plant, Victoria, iron deficiency, cutting
linked Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:11, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "under the Environment Protection and Biodiversity Conservation Act 1999 (EPBC Act).[1] That is, there is a high risk" how about "under the Environment Protection and Biodiversity Conservation Act 1999 (EPBC Act),[1] which indicates that there is a high risk" (or similar, to remove the odd "that is, there is" construction)
reworded Casliber (talk · contribs) 14:20, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "It does best in a well drained soil" hyphen
fixed Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:00, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Applying mulch to the soil around the plant and extra water in dry spells helps." helps what? (I know, but it sounds odd to leave it trailing like this)
reworded Casliber (talk · contribs) 14:20, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "fertilisers specifically for Australian native plants" Australian native plants or native Australian plants?
hmm, never heard them called the latter, always the former or "Australian plants" or just "natives" here..... Casliber (talk · contribs) 14:20, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and need support with stakes." "and need to be supported with stakes." better?
reworded Casliber (talk · contribs) 14:20, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • what is Clonex Red? If this is a specific product, perhaps it should be left out and replaced with generic "rooting hormone" or something? The specific amount used is maybe too much detail. If you don't think so, use 8 g rather than 8000 mg, and spell out litre to make it clear that it's applied as a solution.
they prefer 8000 mg in the source (and others) - it is a high concentration. Removed Aussie trade name and rejigged. Casliber (talk · contribs) 12:46, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • link scion, rootstock, cut flower
linked Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:11, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • last sentence about timber leaves me wanting to know more. Anything else that could be added to this?
annoyingly, I haven't found anything. I can't imagine it being used now due to its environmental status... Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:11, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • In general, the prose in "Cultivation" sounds choppy.
yeah, not thrilled reading through it again - am a bit tired now - I changed a bit and will have another run through tomorrow. Casliber (talk · contribs) 14:20, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • need an accessdate for APNI, IBIS database?
Untemplated ref for the time being - will see if the template can be tweaked (for future use) Casliber (talk · contribs) 20:16, 4 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • publisher location for ref #3?
added Casliber (talk · contribs) 20:00, 4 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • need to indicate that Weston & Crisp (1991) is a PDF
fixed Casliber (talk · contribs) 20:03, 4 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • are authors initials spaced (ref#8) or not (#18)?
unspaced Casliber (talk · contribs) 20:00, 4 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • can you narrow down the page range for ref #8?
narrowed now Casliber (talk · contribs) 20:39, 4 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • ref #9 (Weston et al. 2006) is available online as a PDF
added Casliber (talk · contribs) 20:00, 4 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • journal article titles are not consistently title or sentence case (but be careful with those cite doi templates: if you change the case to be consistent in this article, you may throw off formatting in another article that uses the same cite doi … that's why I don't like 'em!)
fair point - luckily I don't know of any editors opting for sentence case.....are there? Casliber (talk · contribs) 20:06, 4 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Me (for journal article titles), but you don't have to worry about me messing with your doi templates :-) Sasata (talk) 20:59, 4 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • don't need accessdate for print/PDF material in refs #13, #14
removed Casliber (talk · contribs) 20:00, 4 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • publisher location for ref #36 (Walter & Gillet 1998)?
fixed (glitch in ref fmting) Casliber (talk · contribs) 20:00, 4 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Each flower consists of a tubular perianth up to 4 cm (1.8 in) long, which partly splits along one side at anthesis to release the thick style, which is tipped with a slanting disc-like structure that contains the stigma." tweak to remove the repetitive which
  • How about "Each flower consists of a tubular perianth up to 4 cm (1.8 in) long, which partly splits along one side at anthesis to release a thick style. The stigma is contained within a slanting disc-like structure at the tip of the style." Sasata (talk) 16:11, 8 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
yep. I'll take it. :) Casliber (talk · contribs) 08:20, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Support Ok, I've exhausted my nitpick supply for this article, and think it now meets the FAC criteria. Check my final copyedits to make sure I haven't messed anything up. Sasata (talk) 20:59, 4 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

copyedits look ok. Last example might be tricky to fix....hmmm...thinking...... Casliber (talk · contribs) 01:04, 5 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Source review - spotchecks not done

  • FN1: wrong dash
fixed Casliber (talk · contribs) 06:41, 23 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Be consistent in whether you include publisher locations
all books should be sorted now Casliber (talk · contribs) 07:03, 23 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • FN13: publisher?
added Casliber (talk · contribs) 06:45, 23 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
fixed x 2 Casliber (talk · contribs) 06:48, 23 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Perianth, style, stigma, notophyll — need links or explanation
linked first three - last is a bit tricky...will think on the best thing to do here... Casliber (talk · contribs) 03:42, 28 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Found on basalt- or granite-based soil, it is found in
reworded Casliber (talk · contribs) 20:22, 27 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Cultivation section, paras look a bit unbalanced for length
stubby para appended Casliber (talk · contribs) 20:24, 27 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • not widely grown. It has been grown
grown --> cultivated Casliber (talk · contribs) 23:21, 27 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • A large tree grows in the Royal Botanic Gardens in Sydney. — Not clear about the significance of this particular tree
I might have to think about rewording it. Essentially it is that it has been there for over 50 years and is growing happily there. i.e. happy in sydney climate. It's a fairly imposing tree and oft talked about in native plant enthusiast circles... Casliber (talk · contribs) 03:15, 28 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • successful in experiments Clonex Red (8000 mg indole-3-butyric acid/L) applied, — word missing?
reworded. Casliber (talk · contribs) 23:24, 27 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Its soft silky timber resembles that of oak — I can't say that those two adjectives spring to mind with regard to oak, at least not regarding our species.
dunno. I guess oak is soft compared with our mighty eucalypt hardwoods...I'm not a timber expert so can't comment authoritatively..... Casliber (talk · contribs) 23:25, 27 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
I think the Sydney tree still needs a little clarification, but I'm happy to support while you ponder that Jimfbleak - talk to me? 11:30, 30 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Image check - all OK (own work, Flickr CC). Sources and authors provided.

Resolved comments on Taxonomy from Cryptic C62 · Talk 14:04, 24 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • "Ferdinand von Mueller had described what is now known as Alloxylon wickhamii but also collected material of this species at Trinity Bay in 1881, not realising it was a separate species." Does "this" refer to A. wickhamii or A. flammeum?
A. flammeum - clarified now - tossed up whther to add "what would be named" before it... Casliber (talk · contribs) 22:44, 24 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "It was only in the 1980s that it dawned on botanists" Unencyclopedic tone. How about "It was only in the 1980s that botanists realized" ?
done Casliber (talk · contribs) 00:54, 25 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "With the recognition of the distinctness of the Australian members of the genus Oreocallis and their reallocation to the new genus Alloxylon, it was given its current binomial name of Alloxylon flammeum in 1991 by Peter Weston and Mike Crisp of the Royal Botanic Gardens in Sydney, the type material having been collected by Garry Sankowsky and Peter Radke from Tolga Scrub in August 1987." This could easily be split into two (or even three sentences).
rejigged Casliber (talk · contribs) 00:54, 25 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The genus name is derived from Ancient Greek allo- "other" or "strange" and xylon or "wood"" What is the purpose of the last "or"? Seems to me that it should be removed unless xylon has multiple meanings.
aaah, a typo...reomved Casliber (talk · contribs) 00:54, 25 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the Eocene radiation of nectar-feeding birds" I have no idea what "radiation" means in this context.
Evolutionary radiation - linked now. Casliber (talk · contribs) 01:02, 25 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • I don't understand why all latin names are italicized except "Embothriinae". Is this one special?
It is a subtribe rank - this rank (like family or order) is not italicised Casliber (talk · contribs) 01:02, 25 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Review by Rschen7754

edit

Placeholder - hoping to review soon. --Rschen7754 23:20, 1 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Lead
  • The second paragraph has three sentences that start with "Alloxylon flammeum" - try to mix it up?
made less repetitive... Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:30, 5 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • The EPBC Act in... Australia?
tweaked Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:30, 5 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Description
  • The flowers sit atop stalks (known as pedicels) to 3.5 cm (1.6 in) in length, - up to?
tweaked Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:30, 5 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Taxonomy
  • Two consecutive [5] references.
removed first and added commented out note after second (in editing page) to indicate it covers two previous sentences Casliber (talk · contribs) 00:20, 6 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Conservation status
  • What do you mean by "state-based"?
As opposed to Federal (i.e. National), australia has state government with state-based laws and policies Casliber (talk · contribs) 00:20, 6 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Miscellaneous
removed header Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:30, 5 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Should be a support after these minor issues are resolved. --Rschen7754 23:07, 5 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
thanks in advance :) Casliber (talk · contribs) 00:20, 6 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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