Wikipedia

Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Bleed American/archive1

< Wikipedia:Featured article candidates
The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was archived by Gog the Mild via FACBot (talk) 16 June 2022 [1].

Bleed American

edit
Nominator(s): MusicforthePeople (talk) 20:14, 19 May 2022 (UTC); DannyMusicEditor (talk) 20:14, 19 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Hello everyone. This article is about the fourth album from alt rock act Jimmy Eat World, released in mid 2001. After nearly becoming a casualty of the major label system following their third album, the band bounced back with their most commercially successful release to date. It was certified platinum in the US, gold in Canada and silver in the UK. Sometime before this, the album's title was changed to Jimmy Eat World following the 9/11 attacks. Its second single "The Middle" was a top five hit in the US, becoming a staple of the pop punk genre, and is the band's signature song.

While I initially did some expansion to the article a few years ago, DannyMusicEditor (talk · contribs) did further work on it and took this to GA status in 2016. After I did some more expansion in 2021, ahead of the album's 20th anniversary, Danny and I talked about bringing this to FA status. In the interim, we brought Tell All Your Friends to FA earlier this year and have decided to do the same for Bleed American now. MusicforthePeople (talk) 20:14, 19 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Image review

@Nikkimaria: Fixed [2][3] MusicforthePeople (talk) 07:50, 20 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Source review

I remember this album fondly

Spotchecks probably have to be done --Guerillero Parlez Moi 12:12, 20 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Support on prose from Ippantekina

edit

My comments will mostly be on the prose. Never listened to this band's music, though (pardon my perception) I do know that they were a cultural fixture for emo teens back in the 2000s.

  • Template:Infobox album recommends against adding "specialty- or limited-release singles", and I think "A Praise Chorus" belongs to this category because you say it is a "promotional single" in the lead.
  • "In March 2002, Bleed American was certified gold by the Recording Industry Association of America, and was certified platinum that August" awkward sentence structure; you can simply state when it was certified platinum and omit the gold certification
  • "Capitol initially started to shelve the album" began to shelve would be more direct and simple
  • Can you elaborate on what you mean by "a few key radio stations"? Was the track "Lucky Denver Mint" included in the final track list, or what is its significance to the album in any way?
  • "they did not even have a stronghold in the United States" plus I prefer the positive to the negative, something like they lacked a stronghold
  • "breakaway" break away to make it a verb
  • "The tour was ultimately considered a success" by whom?

I have read up to the "Recording" section and figure the prose has minor errors that hinder flow. To this extent, I suggest that you request a copy-edit at WP:GOCE. Prose aside, I see the article has several Twitter sources, which I am afraid is a case of WP:PRIMARY; if possible, please find third-party sources. Content-wise, the article seems comprehensive and does not omit any significant relevant information. I will proceed once my comments are addressed and hopefully by that time the prose has received a thorough copy-edit. Cheers, Ippantekina (talk) 10:52, 31 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

In regards to Twitter, Danny has addressed this above. MusicforthePeople (talk) 11:12, 31 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
In regards to the thorough copy-edit, it'll have to be one of us if this FAC is going to proceed, because the backlog at the Guild is much longer than it used to be. It's currently approaching 3 months in queue time. I'm happy to fix anything you give, just let us know. dannymusiceditor oops 15:35, 31 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
As much as I detest Twitter as a source, I withdraw my complaints. I do see that the GOCE queue is congested at the moment.. Ippantekina (talk) 03:33, 5 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The material on Bleed American was more accessible and aggressive than its predecessor" you can name that predecessor for clarity.
    • Hilarious that you worded your request that way, because the predecessor is actually titled Clarity.
  • "the band called the album Bleed American as it the title-track dealt with" grammar?
  • "how small, trivial things in a person's life" one adjective should suffice
  • Link bridge
  • the Promise Ring (MOS:THEMUSIC)
  • What does it mean by "second-wave emo"?
  • Inconsistent tenses (" "Your House" details the pain of a break-up, cutting all communication with the person, and was reminiscent of" "It channelled the sound of the Cars, and recalls the quieter songs on Clarity"). I suggest you use the present tense throughout.
  • " "Bleed American" was released to radio on June 5, 2001, and released as a single on August 21, 2001" being released to radio is a norm for a single, so I assume the latter release date is for another format (physical/digital)? Ippantekina (talk) 03:33, 5 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Continuing...
  • "Jimmy Eat World embarked on a two-week tour of Germany" in Germany?
  • I am curious how you organize the chronology of the tours; "Following two one-off US shows in February 2002 ... In June 2001, ... they played the East Coast shows in July and August 2001"
  • "Jimmy Eat World played four southern shows" probably southern United States? we have non-US audience here on Wikipedia so..
  • The "Tour" section overall reads like a listicle; while this is inevitable to an extent, I'd like to see varied sentence structures other than "In [time] they toured [in location]" especially in the second paragraph. My proposed solution is to divide paragraphs by category i.e. one paragraph for TV shows, one for supporting tours, and one for headlining tours.
  • "generally favourable reviews" American English
  • Beware of curly apostrophes (MOS:')
  • Some reviews listed in the box are not discussed in prose i.e. NME, USA Today
  • "Bleed American was a commercial success, helping the band gain mainstream popularity" unless a source is provided this can fall into WP:OR
  • I would separate Certifications into a separate section.
  • That concludes my first read-through. Once my comments are addressed I will review the article a second time. In the meantime I would appreciate any and all comments at my current FAC. Cheers, Ippantekina (talk) 09:41, 5 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your patience with my review. I support this article for promotion on prose. Hopefully the article receives more reviews and a ref spotcheck review if necessary. Ippantekina (talk) 07:47, 6 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Coordinator comment

edit

More than three weeks in and just the single general support. Unless this nomination attracts further interest over the next three or four days I am afraid that it is liable to be archived. Gog the Mild (talk) 21:06, 12 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Featured_article_candidates/Bleed_American/archive1&oldid=1093494440"