Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Boudica/archive1

Boudica

I think this is a thouroughly comprehensive, well-referenced and interesting article. --Nicknack009 18:59, 28 December 2005 (UTC)[reply]

*Please sign your submission (four ~ will generate your username and time stamp). Condidtional support, will look over more later. Rlevse 18:44, 28 December 2005 (UTC)[reply]

Object. Lead is too short. Several paragraphs are very fragmented - the English could be improved (specifically in the 'Cultural impact' subsections). 'Further reading' and 'External links' sections should not be subsections of 'References'. — Wackymacs 19:32, 28 December 2005 (UTC)[reply]
Object. Article is very well written, but I'm uncomfortable with it making the Romans look evil and the Iceni look good. It should be more balanced. But it is certainly in the right way. JoaoRicardo^talk 01:34, 29 December 2005 (UTC)[reply]
Minor object. I have to agree with Wackymacs and the Romans vs Icenii point of JoaoRicardo. However, I do think it's very close to an FA and can get there with a little work. Rlevse 03:21, 29 December 2005 (UTC)[reply]
Conditional support.

The lead is too short, it needs to be two to three paragraphs long.
Like wackymacs, I believe there are stylistic problems, especially in the first part of the 'History' section. (This section is also the most important part of the article because it gives an account of Boudicas revolt and it should therefore be named 'Boudicas revolt'.) The sentences appear like they were written 'under the influence' of complicated Latin sentence-construction. I suggest shortening the sentences and leaving out some of the qualifiers.
Also, in the section describing the revolt, I am missing much of the description of Boudicas involvement. Her name appears only three times in this section. What exactly did she do? The reader is only told that she leads the revolt. None of her actions are described. (She gave a speech to the troops in the beginning, she was shouting encouragement from her chariot while they were fighting.) Since the article is about Boudica I would mention her several times: the rebels under the leadership of Boudica burnt down London..., the Iceni, lead by Boudica..., the Britons under the command of Boudica... etc. Also, the reader needs a description of what she looked like (tall, red wavy hair down to her knees) before reading the section on the revolt, maybe in the intro.
Also, I would accurately describe the 'atrocities' committed by the Iceni, preferably using a direct quote from Tacitus.--Fenice 08:20, 29 December 2005 (UTC)[reply]