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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Commissioner Government/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Ealdgyth via FACBot (talk) 22 June 2020 [1].

Commissioner Government

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Nominator(s): Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 07:45, 19 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

This article is about a short-lived collaborationist puppet government established by Nazi Germany in territory they retained under military occupation after the partition of Yugoslavia following the April 1941 Axis invasion. The members were pro-German, anti-Semitic and anti-communist, and believed that Germany would win the war. The Aćimović government lacked any semblance of power, and was merely an instrument of the German occupation regime, carrying out its orders within the occupied territory of Serbia. Unable to cope with a mass uprising which began in early July, it was replaced in late August. To my eternal embarrassment, many years ago I AfD'd this article, thinking it wasn't notable. So I've effectively rescued it from myself... All comments gratefully received. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 07:45, 19 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Image review—pass
  • Commons:Commons:Copyright rules by territory/Serbia says that Serbian photographs must meet one of the following conditions: "A work of known authorship and the author died before January 1, 1954. An anonymous work published before January 1, 1954. A photograph or a work of applied art published before January 1, 1973". Furthermore, and contradictorarily, the copyright term was later extended to publication + 70 years, even for photographs (although that was after URAA and wouldn't affect PD-US status). buidhe 08:41, 21 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Passing the review, although I would strongly recommend scaling the image of Aćimović down to upright=1 or less. On my screen it looks grotesquely large. buidhe 08:00, 22 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

CommentsSupport by Kaiser matias

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Always enjoy reading your articles on Yugoslavia, and this is no exception. Just a few things really:

  • I'd add a note about who Philip J. Cohen is ("historian Philip J. Cohen" or something like that)
  • "The new administration was experienced, as like Aćimović, Jojić, Letica and Pantić had all served as ministers in various cabinets, Josifović and Protić had been assistant ministers, Kostić was a university professor, and others were experts in their respective fields." I would suggest a semi-colon after "experienced" and dropping the "as" there.
  • "Non-Serbs who left the occupied territory had to be replaced..." Was there a lot of non-Serbs in government positions at this time? It sounds like there wasn't, but if there is a way to give that context it would be good. I'm not sure how to best note that now, but I'll wait to hear back before offering suggestions.
  • There's a link to Jews in the "Initial tasks" section, which can probably be removed.
  • "Aćimović initially retained his position as Minister of the Interior." The wording here implies he lost his position, but the next sentence says he died in 1945. Did he hold the ministry from 1941 to 1945, or did he move between then? I would also suggest linking Chetnik there.
  • In the "Analysis" section, would it be possible to include the Communist Yugoslavian and independent Serbian views of the government? I understand that the Croatian Ustase (and the NDH in general) is a contentious topic, and wonder if the same can be said for this government as well. If such historiography exists, it would seem good to include.

Other than the above I really enjoyed the article. Kaiser matias (talk) 17:15, 25 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks so much for taking a look, Kaiser matias. See what you think of my changes? Cheers, Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 03:56, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
My pleasure, and happy to support it. Kaiser matias (talk) 19:12, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Mike Christie

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  • Outside of the military commander's staff...: I assume this is Australian English we're using here? In BrEng I'd cut the "of", and I thought Australian English was closer to BrEng on this, but you would know.
Changed to "Other than..." Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 03:17, 7 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • In response to a request, the Foreign Office sent: a request from whom? Danckelmann?
Benzler. Added. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 03:17, 7 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

That's all I can see; the prose is very clean. An interesting if unpleasant story. Has there ever been a successful FAC nominated by someone who had nominated the article for deletion? Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 20:00, 6 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review and light c/e, Mike. Re: your question, I am not aware of any, an interesting bit of trivia isn't it? Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 03:17, 7 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Support. Fixes look good. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 10:14, 7 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Source review—pass
  • Leo Niehorster is probably acceptable SPS.
  • Printed English sources look OK. I will AGF that Yugoslav-era Serbian Academy of Sciences is reliable.
  • Inconsisent translation: Savet akademija nauka i umetnosti SFRJ should be translated if Serbian Academy of Sciences and Arts is.
  • The Apostolski source needs an OCLC.
  • The article never explains the divergent translations "Commissioner" and "Commissar", and does not provide a source for the latter. If most English sources (80–90%) use the former name, I would just omit the second one. buidhe 04:24, 9 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Support from Gog the Mild

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Nb: it is my intention to claim points in the WikiCup for this review.

Place holder. I have been meaning to get round to this since it was nominated. Gog the Mild (talk) 19:15, 14 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  • "They did this to secure" It may be worth reminding a reader who "They" are?
  • "This was due to the key rail and riverine transport routes that passed through it, and its valuable resources, particularly non-ferrous metals" Is this not redundant, given that the same information is repeated in more detail in the next two sentences?
  • It seems to me that chronologically the second paragraph of "Establishment" should be immediately before "Förster decided on Aćimović, who in early 1939 had briefly been Minister of the Interior in Stojadinović's pro-Axis government." I find the jumping around in time a little jarring.
  • "No representatives of the outlawed Communist Party and the British-backed Serbian Agrarian Party" Should "and" be 'or'?
  • "requiring the registration of printing presses and restrictions on the press within the occupied territory" maybe 'imposing' immediately before "restrictions".
  • "identify and remove 'undesirables' from public services" I can't find the quote marks around "undesirables" in my copy of the text you cite.
  • "The inquiry duly concluded that" "duly" seems PoV. Suggest either removing or attributing in line.
  • "3.81 million inhabitants, including between 50 and 60 per cent of Yugoslav Serbs" Maybe '3.81 million inhabitants, of whom between 50 and 60 per cent were Yugoslav Serbs'?

Gog the Mild (talk) 10:55, 15 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  • I have been impressed with the prose and its clarity, but it seems to me to break down a little in the last three sentences of the firdt paragraph of "Resistance increases". It seems to me to need either more context or less information:
  • It was only "when ... Danckelmann ... was unable to obtain more German troops or police to suppress the revolt" that "he had to consider every option available". Is this not something which an efficient administrator and/or military person would be expected to do anyway?
  • "As Danckelmann had been told to use available forces as ruthlessly as possible, Turner suggested that Danckelmann strengthen the Aćimović administration so that it might subdue the rebellion on its own." I don't see where "as ruthlessly as possible" comes into this.
  • "Turner suggested that Danckelmann strengthen the Aćimović administration so that it might subdue the rebellion on its own. The Germans were dissatisfied with the Aćimović administration's attempts at countering the uprising." Is this meant to suggest that Danckelmann acted on Turner's suggestion. Was Danckelmann one of the Germans who was dissatisfied?
  • "Aćimović, whose sacking the Germans had been considering since mid-July, was thus deemed incompetent" I kind of 'get' this sentence, but it seems to run two issues together. If he was considered incompetent for failing to quash the rising, say so; if there were other, separate, issues, state them and do so separately.
  • Should "Appeal to the Serbian Nation" be in italics? Or, possibly, quote marks?
  • "On closer examination, the historian Alexander Prusin asserts that". Possibly 'The historian Alexander Prusin asserts that on closer examination'?
  • "more dangerous than the Germans; democracy, communism, and multiculturalism." I believe that the semi colon should be a colon.
  • Note g: should be a lower case initial G.
  • Note h: why the upper case initial letters in "for Special Employment""?
  • To be consistent the two foreign language ranks in "Replacement" need notes giving their US Army equivalents.
Then note k needs removing. (It duplicates note b.)
Yep, removed. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 05:23, 21 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Fine work, even by your usual high standards. Gog the Mild (talk) 19:07, 16 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks so much for taking a look, Gog! See what you think of my responses/changes. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 05:44, 20 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
One minor point, but supporting anyway. Gog the Mild (talk) 16:18, 20 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Done, and thanks for your review. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 05:24, 21 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@FAC coordinators: this is looking good. Can I please have a dispensation for a fresh nom? Thanks, Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 05:25, 21 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Okay. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 12:38, 21 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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