Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Der 100. Psalm/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Sarastro1 via FACBot (talk) 19:49, 30 November 2017 [1].


Nominator(s): Gerda Arendt (talk) 23:06, 5 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

This article is about a monumental composition by Max Reger, a setting of Psalm 100 as a choral symphony. It was featured today in a concert for the Marteen Luther jaar, and I was reminded of the peer review a while ago. Luther wrote the translation to German, and his perhaps most famous chorale is the cantus firmus in the fourth movement, the climax of a double fugue. The most similar article is Requiem (Reger). Gerda Arendt (talk) 23:06, 5 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Image review

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Asking David Levy. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 16:49, 16 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
I lack this information. Pinging Rettinghaus, the uncropped version's original uploader. —David Levy 07:16, 17 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for looking into it. It's just a good image of Reger showing that he was also a performer. We could take another one if needed. I'd try to keep the score page where it is, for those who might actually look at it when reading about the music. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 09:33, 17 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
All I can say is, that it was a Carte de visite published by Hermann Leiser in Berlin. Not quite shure about the date. --Rettinghaus (talk) 12:21, 17 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
I asked Dumelow about this one and the Konzerthaus, - please check the licenses. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 22:23, 16 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Hi Nikkimaria. I am not an expert on image copyright by any means, just trying to help out. I think I selected the right tags. It is the first time I have come across the second clause of the PD-1996 tag (I had previously thought that all works PD abroad in 1996 by virtue of death of the author +70 years were automatically PD in the US?). I would welcome any clarification on this. Many thanks - Dumelow (talk) 22:36, 16 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Those two look fine; Reger image still pending. Nikkimaria (talk) 00:42, 17 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Ceranthor

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  • "It was published that year and premiered on 23 February 1910 simultaneously in both Chemnitz, conducted by the composer, and in Breslau, conducted by Georg Dohrn (de)." - simultaneously both is redundant
Thank you. I am on vacation, please excuse that I get to it only now. Dropped "both". --GA
  • "Reger used both, late-Romantic features of harmony and dynamics," - Don't think you need a comma after both
Never sure about commas in English, sorry. Removed. --GA
  • It was first performed in Wiesbaden, where the composer studied, in 2003. - link to this place?
yes --GA
  • The celebration of the Reger Year 2016 led to several performances. - No idea what this means
It's (perhaps too) short for: In 2016, Reger's centenary of death was remembered. There were more performances of his works than normally, even of this monster of a work. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 11:46, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Raised Catholic, he was still inspired by Lutheran hymns, writing chorale fantasias such as Zwei Choralphantasien, Op. 40, in 1899." - did he only write them in 1899? the date part of this sentence throws me off; the rest is fine
We can drop the date if it bothers you. --GA
  • " A year later he began the composition.[2]" - don't think it would hurt to add "of Der 100. Psalm", assuming that's what you mean by composition
I thought that was clear, but changed, had to change also the next sentence, or it would be a duplication. --GA
  • "He based the composition on Psalm 100 in the translation by Martin Luther.[1] He composed the work in Leipzig, beginning on 24 April 1908 and working on it until the beginning of July that year. He dedicated it "Der hohen Philosophischen Fakultät der Universität Jena zum 350jährigen Jubiläum der Universität Jena" (To the high Faculty of Philosophy of the University of Jena for the 350th anniversary of the University).[1] " - redundant sentence structure; need to vary it more
tried, see last point --GA
  • A reviewer wrote in the journal NMZ: - which stands for?
Neue Musik-Zeitung, but not Neue Musikzeitung, - it was new at the time, - will search for a link. --GA
Found this in the German wikisource, but no article, sadly. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 14:47, 16 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The rather short psalm calls to rejoice in the Lord, serve him with gladness, come before his countenance with joy, realize that he made us, go enter his gates, because he is friendly" - this seems like a run-on
It it a summary of the topic of the four movements. How would you do it? --GA
  • The call to rejoice leads to music, especially suitable for festive occasions. - Is this original research or backed up by a source?
It's a summary of what follows, Jubilate and festive occasions. --GA
  • arranged it for congregation, organ and orchestra for the coronation of Elizabeth II, becoming ubiquitous at festive occasions in the Anglophone world.[13] - the second half of this sentence doesn't agree with the first half
Can you explain? --GA
  • "organ, and strings" - If you're not going to use the serial comma throughout the article, don't use it here either
see comma comment above, dropped --GA
  • " short instrumental introduction, marked Andante sostenuto" - might be useful to translate this for a general reader
linked to Tempo, - "sustained walking speed" would be awkward --GA
  • "In a middle section the divided voices express, mostly in homophony, gradually more intense: "Er hat uns gemacht und nicht wir selbst zu seinem Volk" (He has made us, and not we ourselves, his people)" - seems like there's a word or two missing here
What do you miss? --GA
  • The movement closes by a reprise of the first topic, this time ending pp. - does this indicate pianissimo? It's not clear
use full word with link, -keep forgetting that musical notation is not everybody's language, sorry. --GA
  • "mysteriously, almost spectrally" music - adverbs don't describe music, which is a noun
You are right, but how to quote the adverbs (from the source) without having to make notes about using adjectives? --GA
I stayed closer to the wording in the source, to keep the grammar. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 23:21, 16 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and noted how these elements also characterize Reger's life." - does this have a citation?
now doubled, still same reviewer speaking as before. --GA
  • the work was performed at the Thomaskirche in Leipzig on 11 May, his day of death in the town. - Day of death in the town? Clunky
How to say that he died in that same town? --GA

More comments after these are addressed. Weak oppose for now based on the prose. ceranthor 03:55, 9 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your helpful comments. I tried what I understood, please look again. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 11:46, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Reger structured the text in four movements, as a choral symphony." - No need for the comma after movements, I don't think.
No need, but I thought it's a new and independent thought. Comma dropped. --GA
  • "He moved to Munich in 1901. In 1902 he married Elsa von Bercken, a divorced Protestant. In 1907 Reger was appointed professor at the Royal Conservatory in Leipzig." - How much of this is directly relevant to this article?
Looking at other FAs on pieces, a short introduction is common. His bio is not as well known as that of others. Knowing that worked as a professor is related to his honorary doctor's degree of the other university for movement I, I think, and the Protestant wife a bit for the choice of hymn for movement 4 which is highly unusual for a catholic composer. --GA
  • Keep the serial comma, or the lack of it, consistent throughout the article.
  • "Reger completed the composition of the psalm, by adding three more movements, from May to August 1909." - Don't think the commas are needed here.
done --GA
  • "The psalm has been set many times," - What does this mean, that it's been "set"?
short for "set to music", repeated now --GA
  • "The themes of the first psalm verses are paraphrased in the opening movement of Bach's 1734 Christmas Oratorio, Jauchzet, frohlocket, with a later contrasting section Dienet dem Höchsten mit herrlichen Chören (Serve the Most High with wonderful choirs)." - citation?
I will copy them from the Christmas Oratorio, but not right now. It's this very text, - "Jauchzet", "Dienet", I thought that was enough. --GA
Spitta said it in 1880 (reprinted 2014), Rathey in 2016, now added. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 13:52, 20 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Reger's setting had not been intended for church use; it was written initially for a secular occasion and then for the concert hall." - citation?
Well, - look at all performances. The first in a university celebration, for which it was intended. The premieres in concerts. All performances I know of in concerts. It's way too "big" for liturgical use, too expensive and too long. - More later. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 10:14, 20 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
now doubled --GA
  • "Reger structured the text of the psalm in four movements, as a choral symphony,[15] in the typical structure of a symphony:" - redundant to say symphony twice in such close proximity
"Well, it happens, inserting something and not checking, - but now I also don't know how to avoid it, because Choral symphony and Symphony are different, and we need both links. --GA
  • "The first movement corresponds to the opening movement of a symphony, which is often in sonata form. The movement sets the first two verses of the psalm, which call for three actions: "jauchzet" (rejoice), "dienet" (serve), and "kommt" (come). The three topics match two contrasting themes of the exposition of the sonata form, and its development. They are followed by a recapitulation of the two themes." - citation?
This paragraph was created as an overview/summary of the structure of this complicated movement, as suggested by Finetooth (below). It has the same facts - condensed - as below, but I'll copy the refs, for safety. --GA
  • "It is quiet, marked sostenuto and pp" - wouldn't pianissimo suggest even more extreme than just merely being quiet? Wouldn't it be very quiet?
I meant quiet more generally for the whole section, as a contrast to the "explosion" of the first one, this section begins pp, but has a cresc right away to mp. --GA
  • "and noted how these elements also characterize Reger's life.[16]" - I understand the sentiment here, but I'd like this better as a separate, complete sentence, rather than as a continuation of a previous sentence. ceranthor 04:29, 20 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
done --Gerda Arendt (talk) 13:52, 20 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Support on the prose per 1a. Thanks for fixing all of my comments in a timely manner, GA! ceranthor 18:12, 20 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Comments Edwininlondon

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No expert in the matter, or any music in fact, so all I can offer is a layman's view. Some comments:

  • Reger completed the composition in 1909.[1] -> do we need a reference in the lead? Is this statement controversial?
dropped, was just left over from copying --GA
  • He requests -> why present tense here when rest is past tense?
changed --GA
  • It was first performed in -> which one is "It" referring to?
The organ version just mentioned before, - what else? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 20:23, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • After his studies he -> not clear if everything before this sentence only applies to his time as a student.
His first compositions were made when he was a student, yes. --GA
  • in 1898 -> would it not be better to group the 2 references to time together into this sentence. Something along the lines of "In 1898, after completing his studies, "
done --GA
  • still inspired by Lutheran hymns -> a bit of help for the reader would be nice. That "still" might not be obvious to all.
What do you suggest? Perhaps "Although he was raised Catholic, he was inspired by Lutheran hymns? --GA
  • he began the composition. -> I would write "he began composing Der 100. Psalm." but that's just a matter of style.
changed per comments above --GA
  • Die Hörer des Psalms müssen -> I don't think this long quote in German is necessary. I think just rephrasing what he said suffices.
Necessary no, but highly unusual, so why not for those who can read it? I like to listen to what the composer has to say ;) --GA
  • "Noch unter dem Eindruck -> also not necessary
same
  • the translation by Martin Luther. -> he was already linked
removed --GA
  • the translation by Martin Luther -> from which language?
The psalms were originally in Hebrew, and Luther translated from Hebrew, but what does it add to the understanding of Reger's music? --GA
  • motet needs a link
done --GA
  • verse(s) of the Psalm -> why this capital P
said "Psalm 100" now, because it s this specific one --GA
  • tradition of Johann Sebastian Bach - > already linked before
removed --GA
  • often contrasting theme of the sonata form, often -> two 'often' close together
changed one --GA

More later, but looking good so far.Edwininlondon (talk) 21:42, 12 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your helpful comments. I'll look, hopefully later today. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 11:50, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Done now, please look again. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 20:23, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

All fine. Sorry, just a few small things:

  • invention',[19] -> is there a closing " missing?
  • used for the climaxes." -> where is the opening " ?
  • isbn format inconsistent

Edwininlondon (talk) 21:26, 15 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you, all good catches, hopefully clarified. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 22:12, 15 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Support on prose Comments by Finetooth

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I'm in a bit over my head here as regards content, but I can offer suggestions related to prose, the Manual of Style, and things a general reader might wonder about.
Lead
  • ¶1 "Der 100. Psalm (The 100th Psalm), Op. 106, is a composition in four movements by Max Reger in D major for mixed choir and orchestra, a late Romantic setting of Psalm 100." - A bit too complicated? Since "four movements" is repeated in ¶2, maybe this would be better: "Der 100. Psalm (The 100th Psalm), Op. 106, is Max Reger's late Romantic rendering of Psalm 100, composed in D major for mixed choir and orchestra."
You will have to convince me that mentioning the four movements early is not wise. The usual psalm setting is one movement along the text, a few minutes. This is a monumental symphony of more than half an hour, the most unusual psalm setting I know. How to say that best? ---GA
It's probably best to leave it as is. My knowledge of psalm settings is approximately zero. Finetooth (talk) 22:57, 16 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • ¶3 "The celebration of the Reger Year 2016 led to several performances." – Readers will probably not know what Reger Year 2016 means until they have read the rest of the article. Suggestion: "The celebration of Reger Year 2016, the centenary of the composer's death, led to several performances.
taken, with minor changes ---GA
History
  • ¶1 "He dedicated it "Der hohen Philosophischen Fakultät der Universität Jena zum 350jährigen Jubiläum der Universität Jena" - Per MOS:FOREIGNITALIC, I would italicize this and most of the other German phrases and expressions in the article except titles and proper nouns like the names of people, cities, buildings, orchestras, and so on).
To my understanding, quotations are not also italicized. The idea of italics is to separate from normal text, which the quote marks do already. ---GA
I wouldn't mind having a third opinion on this one since I rarely encounter many long quotes in languages other than English. I poked around in the MOS some more and found a guideline in MOS:QUOTE in the foreign-language quotations subsection. It says in part, "When editors themselves translate foreign text into English, care must always be taken to include the original text, in italics (except for non-Latin-based writing systems), and to use actual and (if at all possible) common English words in the translation." Finetooth (talk) 22:00, 16 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
But see my next note down. Finetooth (talk) 22:05, 16 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • ¶1 Since this is an English-language encyclopedia, I'd be inclined to put the English translations first and put the German originals in parentheses. Beyond that, I share User:Edwininlondon's concern about some of the long passages in German. Most readers will skip over the German to get to the English. A compromise might be to use English in the main text for the long quotations (not the short ones) and to put the German originals of these long ones in notes at the bottom of the article. They would be there for readers who know German and would not slow the readers who don't.
Food for thought. In a way, I hate to put anything in quotation marks that is translated, because even the best translation changes the meaning. I come from FA Kafka, where his German comes first, then a translation. I'll think about it, and about footnotes. How do you feel of divided blockquotes for the long quotes that makes skipping easier? Tried for one. ---GA
I like it. Set off like that, it is much easier to read, and the italics, imho, would be redundant and cluttery. Finetooth (talk) 22:05, 16 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
I hesitate to treat the other long one the same, because I did the translation ;) --Gerda Arendt (talk) 22:12, 16 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
I'm not sure what is causing your hesitation. If you mean the quote starting with "Noch unter dem Eindruck des Gehörten...". Citation 4 is the RS for the German text. I don't think you need a separate RS for your translation since any reader who can read both languages well enough to have an opinion can change the translation or, better, discuss it on the talk page. So I think citation 4 can be used for both the original and the translation, just as it does now. All you'd be changing is the layout. Or am I misunderstanding? Finetooth (talk) 23:39, 16 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
If you say so, I try. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 09:38, 17 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Works for me. If others raise no objection, I think that will do it. Finetooth (talk) 17:40, 17 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • ¶1 "the band of the 71. Infanterieregiment Erfurt" – The period here is a bit confusing since it looks at first glance like a terminal period. Could this be recast as "the band of Infanterieregiment 71 from Erfurt". Even better, imho, would be "the band of Infantry Regiment 71 from Erfurt" with no translation since the cognates are so close.
done ---GA
  • ¶1 "Reger demanded many rehearsals from the conductor" – I think "of" would be better than "from" since "from" suggests that he gave them to Reger, which he didn't.
done ---GA
  • ¶1 "So be good and take care for that." – A better translation, judging from the context, would be "So be good and take care of that"; that is, "of" rather than "for".
Can I improve the translation given in the source? Probably only with a note that I changed, which I think is clumsy for such a minor change. ---GA
  • ¶2 "The work was published by Peters in Leipzig, first the vocal score with piano in September 1909, with the piano reduction prepared by Reger himself. The score and the parts appeared in December that year." – Active voice and sentence-splitting might work slightly better. Suggestion: "Peters in Leipzig published the work, starting in September 1909 with the vocal score with piano. Reger prepared the piano reduction. The score and the parts appeared in December that year." Then link piano reduction and parts for clarity.
trying that, with minor change ---GA
  • ¶2 "...wrote in the journal NMZ..." – Spell out, italicize, and abbreviate, as in "...wrote in the journal Neue Musik-Zeitung (NMZ)?
done ---GA
Structure and scoring
*¶Since SATB and four-part choir link to the same SATB article, perhaps on first use something like "SATB (four-part choir)".
removed second link ---GA
Jauchzet
  • ¶1 "marked ff" – Maybe "marked ff (fortissimo)" for clarity?
word added, but ff is a dab page ---GA
  • ¶1 "The choir first sings a quart motif..." – I'm not sure what "quart" means in this context. Quart is a unit of volume. Perhaps quarter-note or something similar?
Forgive me, octave (Oktave) works from Latin, but learning now that it's fourth (Quarte), not from Latin ;) - fixed. ---GA
Nothing to forgive. I'm always happy when I catch something. Otherwise I might have to change my user name to Toothless. Finetooth (talk) 22:39, 16 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • ¶2 Since pp and pianissimo link to the same pianissimo article, perhaps on first use "pianissimo (pianissimo)"?
done like for ff above ---GA
Erkennet
  • ¶1 "marked ppp" – More clear as "ppp (as soft as possible)"?
trying "extremely soft", or should we say "pianississimo"? I've seen pppp, so it's not the end of softness.
General
*Concise alt text would be nice even if not required.
Will do, forgot for images added later. Tried to solve overlinking mentioned below.
  • No problems with dablinks.
  • No dead URLs.
  • Minor overlinking. "Theme" is linked twice in ¶2 of the Jauchzet section. Others linked more than once in the main text include "Johann Sebastian Bach" and "Lutheran hymns", as well as the "SATB - four-part choir" and "pp - pianissimo" pairs noted above. - Finetooth (talk) 02:56, 16 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for helpful comments. Please check again. ---Gerda Arendt (talk) 16:23, 16 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • Reading through again, I have just three more questions or suggestions, as follows:
Jauchzet
  • ¶2 "It has been compared to the second, often contrasting of the sonata form typical for first movements of symphonies." – I think this should say "contrasting with" rather than "contrasting of", and I'm not sure what "second" refers to. I think it needs a noun to go with it.
Another good catch, - I think it was a linked "theme", which I meant to copy and delink, and possibly lost. The movement is possibly the most complex thing there was at Reger's time, - it's not you! --Gerda Arendt (talk) 22:18, 17 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • ¶2 "In measure 111 the third topic appears..." – What is the second topic? Is it "Dienet"? And is the first "Jauchzet"? I'm not quite clear on this. The Jauchzet section is the hardest for me to follow because of my limited musical background.
I called these topics, from the text: rejoice / serve / come. I tried now to explain the overview before going along the music. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 22:18, 17 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
It's much more clear to me now. Finetooth (talk) 18:21, 18 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Evaluation
Good idea! - Did you know that I found two more sources, one already inserted, but I could use it for more background, one a contemporary review about a 1923 performance (in my sandbox). I wonder if I should add at this point, or better leave it as it is. I added a second organ version, did you see that? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 22:18, 17 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
The addition about the second organ version looks fine to me. I have no opinion about adding the contemporary review of the 1923 performance. How much is too much? Maybe flip a coin. :-) Finetooth (talk) 18:21, 18 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • All good. Switching to support on prose with the caveat that someone very familiar with the vocabulary of music might see things that I have missed. Btw, yesterday I listened to the YouTube Reger-Chor International version of this work. Passionate and lovely. Finetooth (talk) 18:21, 18 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you, for support, but even more for making everything clearer by your questions, and yet more for listening. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 20:42, 18 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Brief comment

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The lead contains the sentence: "It was first performed in Wiesbaden, where the composer studied, in 2003." Can you clarify what "it" refers to? Hindemith's version, or the organ version? Brianboulton (talk) 14:27, 16 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I thought it was clear but you are the second to ask, will repeat "Organ version" although it was just mentioned before. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 15:12, 16 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Also, you should add "of the complete work" to the final sentence of the lead, otherwise it's not clear what "led to several performances" refers to. Brianboulton (talk) 21:11, 16 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Wouldn't stressing "complete" sound as if there were also performances of parts? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 21:21, 16 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
I repeated the title, instead. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 22:25, 16 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Support and comments from Jim

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I'm way outside my comfort zone on content, so I've basically been looking for things that aren't clear to me. That's likely to be due to my own ignorance, so feel free to ignore any or all of the following:

  • "Ein feste Burg ist unser Gott"—this redirects to the English A Mighty Fortress Is Our God. On en-wiki, if the English version is well-known enough to be preferred for its own article, shouldn't it be used in your text?
No, because Reger knew nothing about "A Mighty Fortress". I went and a created an article on the German hymn (on which all Bach and Reger and German national stuff is based), because I believe there's enough material on both topics to warrant two articles, but it was not welcome. It's at present in user space (and in the archive of the mighty fortress, of all places, not by me of course), but it will hopefully resurface by the time this may be TFA. Did you know that most Lutheran hymns are under their German title? See {{Lutheran hymns}}. --GA
  • appointed professor—"of music" I assume?
Well, typically it's some more specific department name, and I confess not to know. Composition perhaps. Will try to find out. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 12:36, 24 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • A reviewer wrote in the trade paper Neue Musik-Zeitung—Here and elsewhere you give the original text as well as the translation. I don't think that is either necessary or normal practice elsewhere when dealing with quotes.
This was asked above: I like the composer's and others' original, and with the help of Finetooth, we found a way to make it visible for longer quotes, so someone for whom it means nothing can easily skip it. - We used consistently German with English in brackets for Franz Kafka, which as you may know became the most successful TFA so far, - for me it's normal ;)—GA
  • KMD (director of church music) —I'm not sure what the "KMD" adds
It adds notability to an otherwise not known person. Will try to find a link eventually. (de:Kirchenmusikdirektor) It's for church music what GMD is for secular conductors. --GA
  • In 2016, a Reger Year reflecting the centenary of Reger's death—are there other Reger Years, or did you mean that 2016 was designated as Reger Year to commemorate the centenary?
I don't know, it was the first I came across, but I was careful not to say The Reger Year, because there may have been a centenary of his birth or whatever else.

Cheers, Jimfbleak - talk to me? 11:45, 24 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for good finds, and especially for your trust! --Gerda Arendt (talk) 12:36, 24 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Sources review

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A number of points need attention:

  • Ref 9: The short citation is "Palestrina 2016" Neither that name nor the year seem to have any relation to the actual source, so what's it supposed to convey?
Well, references are two kinds, those present in the GA, and those added when expanding, this is of the later kind. Generally, I take "author(s)/year" for references, but sometimes we don't know, such as here. What do you suggest. I picked "Palestrina" because all it had to support is that Palestrina also set Psalm 100. ---GA
  • In general, short citations in the Harvard scheme should provide at least some visible identification with the appropriate listed source. In a number of cases this is not the case - see refs 28, 33, 35, 37 and 38. I'm sure that these are the correct sources for these citations, but why be so cryptic?
same as above, open to suggestions: publisher perhaps, when no author is known? ---GA
  • Ref 17 is dated 2004, but the source article is from 1953
fixed --GA
  • Ref 20 lacks a page reference
fixed --GA
  • Ref 31 is shown as "Dresden 2016" but the source year is 2004
Where do I find that source year? --GA
  • Ref 32: year 2016 duplicated
fixed --GA
  • Ref 34: "Benda" in citation, "Wenda" in source
fixed --GA
  • "Bibliography" is an inappropriate title for your list of cited sources - t's too general a term. You should subdivide your references section into "Citations" and "Sources"
changed --GA
  • I notice that you give website details as publishers in many of your online sources. More correctly, you should use the "work" field for websites and give the site publisher's name. Also, at present, there are inconsistencies in italicisation.
I changed "publisher" to "website" as I saw Nikkimaria changing. Not sure which name you mean by site publisher's name, and where to use it. Ready to learn more. ---GA

Brianboulton (talk) 22:35, 25 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. I will check, but it's about midnight here when I'm likely to make more mistakes, and tomorrow will be mostly RL. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 23:00, 25 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Looking (again past midnight): I fixed most of the specific things, and will try more general adjustments, but only later today. ----Gerda Arendt (talk) 23:59, 26 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Some more replies with questions above. ---Gerda Arendt (talk) 21:43, 27 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Brianboulton, would you have time to look again. I don't know what "site publisher's name" I would use, and how, for the town of Leipzig, for example, and the Protestant deanery of Weiden. I don't add italics, but relied on the templates doing them, - is that wrong? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 16:26, 30 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
I added a new source, and would like to know if it matches your expectations: [1]
"Leipziger Universitätschor gedenkt Max Regers mit Festkonzert". Leipziger Universitätschor (in German). 3 May 2016. Retrieved 30 November 2017.
{{cite web
| url = http://unichor.uni-leipzig.de/modules/standards/feAdmin/newsletter/newsletterCont.inc.php?id=51
| title = Leipziger Universitätschor gedenkt Max Regers mit Festkonzert
| date = 3 May 2016
| work = Leipziger Universitätschor
| language = German
| accessdate = 30 November 2017
| ref = {{sfnref|Leipziger Universitätschor|2016}}
}}

.. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 20:06, 30 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Wehwalt

edit

Here's the first half:

  • I might throw a "German" into the first paragraph, possibly "German composer" before "Max"
I don't go for composition by composer, nor do I think nationality matters much in music (per a friend who quotes "the only real nation is humanity") --GA
  • "Reger structured the text in four movements, as a choral symphony." I'm not sure the comma is necessary.
That's the second time the question comes up. It's short for two sentences that are independent. --GA
  • "In 1922 the biographer Eugen Segnitz noted that the work of intense expression was unique in the sacred music of its period, with its convincing musical interpretation of the biblical text and manifold shades of emotion." I might change "the work" to "this work" and put "of intense expression" within commas.
done, good point --GA
  • "a divorced Protestant." Reger's own religion should be made clearer if his wife's is important enough to note.
clearer than "Though raised as a Catholic" in the previous sentence? --GA
  • I wonder if the dedication should be in italics. It is not, after all, a title.
Normally, things in quotation marks are not also italic, but willing to learn. --GA
  • "350jährigen" there's no space between the number and the word, correct?
yes, as in the source --GA
  • "for the university's anniversary." This tells us nothing more than was in the translation. I might say "at the ceremony marking the 350th anniversary" or similar if the source will support.
taken --GA
  • "Reger conducted the church choir of St. Lukas and the municipal orchestra (Städtische Kapelle), with Georg Stolz at the organ of the church St. Lukas." I might say "Reger conducted the choir of St. Lukas church and the municipal orchestra (Städtische Kapelle), with Georg Stolz at the church's organ." It might simplify if you mentioned the performance took place at the church, which I imagine it did.
Yes, it did, but that was something I found out only recently (per the new source), and then added it too simply. Rewording, with thanks for such a sharp eye. --GA
  • " or his swan song" this seems a bit flip and not truly necessary.
I tried more precision. It's better known as Schwanengesang than Opus ultimum, but I didn't want to leave readers with the German term. Not sure if "swan song" is understood without a link? --GA
Swan song is a fairly common idiom, it will be understood. It's a bit informal in English, which was my objection, but I'll withdraw it.
  • "(NMZ)" why give an abbreviation when you never use it?
history: it was only abbreviation first, dropping that --GA
  • "the Lord is friendly". (in "Psalm 100 and settings") Is this how the Psalm is generally translated in English? I don't object to this word as a translation of the Luther, but I'm a bit dubious where you're rendering it as the translation of the Pslam itself. I'm offline, but the Gideon Bible I have handy translates this as "The Lord is good".
There are several Bible translations, - this (mine, of Luther, not the original Hebrew) is called "literal", and "freundlich" means "friendly", not "good". --GA
I won't presume to argue with Luther on Biblical translation, but the Hebrew is "kee tov", "because good". Do English language sources translate as "friendly"?
I was not clear. This is not a Bible translation, but a translation of the text that Reger set to music, and - without source, but probably any dictionary - will give you "friendly" as Luther's "freundlich". ----Gerda Arendt (talk) 16:19, 30 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "it became ubiquitous at festive occasions in the Anglophone world" this is a 1953 work and you are citing a 1953 source. Unless it immediately became ubiquitous, I'm a bit dubious. It doesn't seem prevelant in the US, by my (limited) personal experience.
You are right, and I fail to remember what made me write that, possibly something in the JSTOR article that I don't find again right now, only the preview. - Possibly it should better read that Old Hundredth became ubiquitous (compare Psalm 100, not the specific coronation setting.
--Wehwalt (talk) 20:00, 27 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for good ideas! --Gerda Arendt (talk) 21:22, 27 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

A couple more:

  • "It has been compared to the second theme of the sonata form." It's not clear what this refers to.
Same "it" as in previous sentence: "'Dienet', the second topic". Sonata form was linked (even twice), for those who don't know that typically there's a first theme and a conztrasting second theme. Better wording welcome. -- GA

"leading to the first topic, "Jauchzet"." I might use "returning" or "reprising" in the phrase, since we've been to that topic before.

we are (measure 111) still in the development section where the material is worked on, including material from the first topic, while the reprise of the beginning (with a link of the term) comes in measure 130. --GA
  • "connecting both the musical form and the content of being created God's people and serving him with gladness." I would cut "both". I take it content means like "substance" rather than satisfaction?"
The German would be "Inhalt", as in TOC and theme (literary), - a better word welcome. How to avoid, without "both", that the connection is not between musical form and content, but between these two and the same in the first movement? --GA
Maybe "connecting the musical form with the theme of being created as God's people and serving him gladly" or some such.
I was not clear, again: Reger quotes the musical theme from the first movement, - by using the same musical theme he connects the two things expressed with it, the one in the first movement (serving with gladness) and the one in the second (created as God's people). - The same music connects two topics, in short. ----Gerda Arendt (talk) 16:19, 30 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
--Wehwalt (talk) 06:40, 28 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for careful reading! --Gerda Arendt (talk) 08:15, 28 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Support Very nice article.--Wehwalt (talk) 15:45, 30 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you. ----Gerda Arendt (talk) 16:19, 30 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Coordinator comments: The external link to "Max Reger / 19. März 1873 – 11. Mai 1916" is dead. Otherwise I think we are good to go once Brianboulton is happy with the source review. Sarastro (talk) 19:29, 30 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

If the matter of the dead link is resolved, I think any further tweaking/tidying of sources presentation can be done post-promotion. Brianboulton (talk) 19:39, 30 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
In that case, as its an external link, I don't think we need to wait. Sarastro (talk) 19:48, 30 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.