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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Fabian Ware/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Ealdgyth via FACBot (talk) 7 July 2020 [1].

Fabian Ware

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Nominator(s): Eddie891 Talk Work 15:29, 31 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Fabian Ware was fascinating. He went through three careers, first as a high level colonial educator, then editor of The Morning Post and finally as the founder and de facto CEO of the Imperial War Graves Commission. Gibson & Ward (1989) write that "There are many human beings who have made their mark in history, but none other has left such a profound and lasting memorial to mankind's sacrifice on behalf of democracy as has this remarkable Englishman". I hope I've been able to do him justice with this article after almost two years of work, bringing the article up from this state After comments by Gog the Mild, HJ Mitchell, copyedits by DuncanHill and a GA review by AustralianRupert, I feel this article meets the FA criteria, or could with your comments. I have access to all the sources, and can provide scans poorly taken photos upon request. Best wishes, Eddie891 Talk Work 15:29, 31 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  • Support. I've been involved with this article for a few months and it's an excellent piece of work. My previous comments star at Talk:Fabian Ware#Expansion and sources. I believe the article is written to a professional standard and accurately reflects the body of knowledge on the subject. I have many of the books cited and in fact provided material from several of them to Eddie to assist in expanding the article so I'm familiar with the source material. HJ Mitchell | Penny for your thoughts? 10:10, 2 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Support from Gog the Mild

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Nb, I intend to use this review to claim points in the WikiCup.

  • "In the lead-up to the Second World War, he refused to believe that another war could occur" I'm not seeing this in the main body.
  • Crane talks extensively about various British leaders refusing to accept another war as a possibility, and I had intended to add mention of it, but never did because the section mostly talks about other Britons and speculates as to what Ware could have done or might have thought or would have known. Cut.
  • "particularly Spenser Wilkinson, the paper's lead writer" Do you mean "lead" in the sense of the lead to a Wikipedia article? Or that he was the senior or most important writer?
  • actually the leader writer, a uniquely british thing that I thought was just most senior. I have linked to the article.
I assumed it would be. Rubbish copy editing.
  • " who thought he not promote tariff reform" Missing word?
  • should not
  • "Imperial War Conference" is duplinked.
  • fixed
  • References: Thys-Şenocak is listed but not referred to.
  • Yeah, added (not sure what happened there, but I knew where it should go). I cannot add a page number, because it's from the GBooks preview which doesn't have them, but I could add a chapter?

Having gone through this in some detail three times over the past year I feel that this is in pretty good shape. Gog the Mild (talk) 10:53, 2 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  • thanks again Gog! I've now added 'leader writer' to my mental dictionary. Perhaps in several years I might be proficient in British.
Maybe. I've been studying it for quite a bit longer, and I haven't got the hang of it yet. Gog the Mild (talk) 15:14, 2 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Eddie891 Talk Work 15:07, 2 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Epicgenius

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Reserving a spot here. I think the article looks good so far, but I will leave some comments later. epicgenius (talk) 15:16, 2 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  • a failed effort to purchase the United Kingdom an airship - nothing wrong per se (I understand that you mean he purchased an airship for the UK), but at first I read this as "purchase the UK for an airship".
  • changed to to purchase an airship for the United Kingdom"
  • The unit soon began to focus exclusively on graves and the organisation was transferred to the British Army in 1915. In 1916, the Department of Graves Registration and Enquiries was created with Ware at its head. On 21 May 1917 the Imperial War Graves Commission was founded. - these three sentences either end or begin with dates, so they sound a bit like a timeline. Maybe spice it up a bit?
  • Ware was born in Clifton, Bristol on 17 June 1869,[1] the son of Charles and Amy Carew Ware, née Goulstone - I think you brought this sentence up on the Discord server already, but this sentence still needs revising. For one, I think you can get rid of the fact that he is the son (which is kind of obvious). E.g. "Ware was born in Clifton, Bristol on 17 June 1869 to Charles and Amy Carew Ware, née Goulstone"
  • went with your phrasing
  • to pay for attending the University of London. - weird phrasing, as "attending" is treated like a noun here. "To pay for tuition at the University of London" may be better.
  • changed
  • He married Anna Margaret on 1 August 1895, - Who is Anna Margaret? How did they meet?
  • From 1899 to 1901 contributed articles to The Morning Post.[2] - this sentence is missing something
  • somebody else added a word
  • A committee was formed with Ware as the chairman, and recommended the establishment of a technical institute in its report - this switches from passive to active voice
  • And the word "recommended", or a variant thereof, is repeated in the next two sentences as well.
  • cut this whole paragraph down based on Buidhe's suggestion below.
  • Through Milner's influence,[6] in 1905 the editorship of The Morning Post was offered to Ware by Lord Glenesk, the paper's owner. - the passive voice sounds weird here
  • flipped phrasing around
  • Shortly after beginning work, Ware came into conflict with Glenesk, who thought he should not promote tariff reform, and wrote asking Lady Bathurst[note 1] to intervene and threatening to resign. He disagreed with prominent members of the Conservative Party - Because both people in the sentences are male, these pronouns are ambiguous. Who wrote? Who disagreed?
  • Ware
  • When Glenesk died in November, his daughter, now Lady Bathurst, - Now I am slightly confused. His daughter became Lady Bathurst, but you mentioned Lady Bathurst before (with a footnote saying that Lady Bathurst was Glenesk's daughter). Maybe you should mention the familial relationship beforehand in the "wrote asking Lady Bathurst" sentence. This way you don't need to mention that Lady Bathurst is Glenesk's daughter again.
  • used to call her Lilias Borthwick in the first mention. How does it look now?
  • Morning Post''s - typo
  • fixed
  • The airship commissioned by The Morning Post was damaged when it arrived in England ten days after the Clément-Bayard No.2, - so it was damaged upon arrival? Or did it arrive in a damaged state?
  • Was damaged upon arrival because it's hangar was too small, hopefully clarified.

More later. 🇪 🇵 🇮 🇨 🇬 🇪 🇳 🇮 🇺 🇸 (talk) 15:28, 12 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

This is much better than before. Here are some other things I noticed.

  • The GRC's work continued to rapidly expand through 1915: by May 1915, 4,300 graves had been registered. - the second "1915" is repetitive.
  • Cut
  • On 6 September Macready recommended transferring the organisation completely to the Army. The transfer was completed by late October. - I think this can probably be condensed into a single sentence.
  • rephrased to "After a suggestion by Macready on 6 September, the organisation was transferred completely to the Army by the end of October"; let me know if that isn't better
  • Despite a ban on exhumations established by Joseph Joffre - you should probably give a description of a few words of what role Joffre has.
  • "French General" Joffre
  • Only one-fifth of the typists Ware had requested - do you know the number of typists?
  • Unfortunately, Longworth (the official CWGC history and most comprehensive source) only says one-fifth. A brief google search returned no promising hits
  • rendering the corpse potentially unknown - did you mean "unidentifiable"?
  • that's the word!
  • He also looked into establishing a 'Religious Advisory Committee' to helps settle religious questions - typo
  • fixed
  • For his work during the war, Ware was mentioned in despatches twice,[1] once by Douglas Haig on 10 April 1919.[121] In 1919 he was made a commander of the Order of the Bath - First, "twice, once" sounds strange and you can replace "once" with "including". Second, "1919. In 1919" sounds weird too. Can you rephrase so the year doesn't get repeated in such close succession?
  • replaced with "in the same year" but could come up with something slightly more creative if you don't think that works
  • had begun as early as 1919 - I think it would be easier to say "had begun in 1919" if that's the definite date. Otherwise, go with something like "might have begun as early as 1919".
  • It's just unclear whether discussions began earlier and whether Churchill was doing any more than making grand proclamations (he wasn't really beginning negotiations, just proposing them). Does "dated back to 1919" work better?
  • In 1926, it was concluded that - Who said that?
  • unfortunately, Stamp isn't forthcoming with the source, and doesn't specifically cite it anywhere. If I had to guess, its probably from a CWGC report, but a google search reveals no hints. I could post a question to the humanities ref desk, remove, or just leave as is. What do you think?
  • This isn't really a big deal. I think we can do without saying who said that.
  • He was an adviser at the 1937 Imperial Conference. - with the Royal Institute?
  • Quigley just includes him as an adviser, nothing about the institute. He was likely there in his capacity with the IWGC, but no way of really knowing. I know that the conferences would have people serving as advisors (O. D. Skelton did in 1923) to their ruler, but not as representatives, so Ware could have been to advise George V. Unfortunately, this is all speculation.
  • The road 'Boulevard Fabian Ware' - I think you can just say "Boulevard Fabian Ware" without quotes.
  • agree
  • BTW, was he survived by his wife and kids?
  • his obituaries don't mention it. The ODNB says his wife died in 1952 so yes on that. I'd assume his children survived him, but as Crane is fond of saying, his work was his life so T doubt any of the sources will mention conclusively. I can add his wife's life span to the article if you want?

That's all from me. epicgenius (talk) 14:17, 15 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Theramin

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Signing off

This is a great article on an important man (I admit, I did not recognise his name, and now I feel as though I should have. "Their name liveth for evermore", indeed.).

I noticed a few small nits from a read through. I was tempted to go in and just fix these myself, rather than writing the usual laundry list, but some of the fixes are not entirely clear and you might like to comment on some of them.

Done
  • I think Oliver Borthwick died in March 1905, a few weeks after his 32nd birthday. Not really "in late 1905".
  • quite right. Source does say late 1905 but given that there was a times obit (which I've added as a source) in March, it's highly unlikely he was alive in late 1905.
  • spelled out name
  • I am usually very relaxed about redlinks, but for both Lancelot Bathurst and Oliver Borthwick, do we think there will be enough to justify the redlinks?
  • Oliver got an obit in the New York Times and The Times (though the NYTimes is just a paragraph) so he's borderline, and I figured might be worth the link. LJ has a Wikidata entry but no claim to notability so I'll cut the link, good call.
  • Longworth just says 10th French Corps, but it's reasonable to assume he was talking about the 10th Army Corps and added French to clarify that it wasn't a britis formation
  • Seems rather odd not to link Lady Bathhurst under that name (I know we already have a link under another name, but that is only clear once you get to the footnotes: perhaps her change of name could be mentioned nearer the link).
  • I just converted her first instance to Lady and refactored the note for clarity. She would have been Lady Bathurst since her marriage which if I remember from writing her article was in the 1890s. Her name wasn't changed in between afaik, she is just referred to interchangeably by the sources.
  • I think there have been several places called Winchester House. This one was 21 St James's Square.
  • Just said 'St' James Square' so we don't include anything Longworth doesn't explicitly say, good call.
  • "Jewish graves were to be marked with a double triangle on a stake" - with a link for Jewish but not for Star of David? (I assume the triangles overlapped to create a star in the traditional manner, not displaced like the double triangles on a cardinal mark.)
  • Presumably, and I've added a link -> nice call
  • Cut the second mention and made the first legible, good spot
  • We have an "ambassador Ambassador of the Soviet Union".
  • so we do, cut
  • We could link the Italian article on General Ugo Cei.
  • added

My main comment is that the flow is a bit uneven and staccato in parts, with several passages of: "On [date] [action]" … "On [date] [action]" … "On [date] [action]". That can easy to slip into / difficult to avoid in a largely chronological biography, but some elegant wordsmithing to smooth the narrative would be welcome. Theramin (talk) 00:39, 3 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  • Thanks Theramin for those most helpful comments. I've enacted most of your changes, some comments. As to the uneven and staccato-ness, I'd completely agree --> elegance isn't my strong suit. I'll take a look at it later today and hopefully smooth it out some. Eddie891 Talk Work 12:36, 3 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • blegh, It's choppier than I thought. I've tried some elegant wordsmithing, but I fear it mostly consists of burying the dates where possible. Let me know what you think-- any suggestions you may have would be welcome. Eddie891 Talk Work 02:13, 5 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Are you asking me to copyedit the article? I can take a look, although I tend to use a lighter tool than the lady currently on my user page, and it might take me some time to get around to it. Perhaps someone else might like to have a go? Theramin (talk) 23:37, 5 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • It was my way of saying that I've tried to smooth it out as best I can, but it very likely needs another set of eyes. If your time allows I'd appreciate a copy-edit, but please don't feel at all obligated. Eddie891 Talk Work 23:45, 5 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Image review

  • Suggest scaling up the site plan
  • Suggest adding alt text
  • Don't use fixed px size
  • removed
  • Noting that File:Sir_Fabian_Ware.png has been nominated for deletion at Commons - that will need to be resolved one way or the other before promotion
  • Hi again, Nikkimaria. It seems that we will be unable to verify that the image is in the PD. Although I think it most likely is, I don't see that information forthcoming. File:Fabian Ware.jpg is the fair use version, but I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to do now. I reached out to the cwgc and they were unwilling to release any pictures of Ware. Seems to me like the commons image should be deleted and fair use one used unless we get a definite publication date. Your thoughts/advice here would be greatly appreciated. Best wishes, Eddie891 Talk Work 13:56, 3 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Might be worth reaching out to MrClog to see if he got an answer to his email, although I see he's gone inactive. Otherwise if no other potentially free image exists then yes, we should use the fair-use version. Nikkimaria (talk) 20:56, 3 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Nikkimaria I left a message on their talk (albeit only a day ago) but they were also active within the month that the NPG should have responded. I've looked pretty extensively, but cannot find a clearly free image of him. Here's what I propose doing, given that it's unfortunately not clear the image is pd: Closing the fair use images FFD request as keep, replacing the commons image with that one, and keeping a close eye on the issue. If MrClog hears back and it turns out the image is public domain, (with your consent) I'll ping you on Fabian Ware's talk to re-review the licencing. Should a pd image arise, the (unused) fair use image can then be deleted. I've looked extensively and read into the issue, and that seems like the only way to resolve it. The CWGC already turned down my request to release an image, though I fully intend to ask them again by letter. Hopefully this will allow the image review to be resolved. Let me know what you think sorry for all this pinging, if you'd rather I didn't, I'll stop. Eddie891 Talk Work 00:29, 4 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Nikkimaria: I’ve had a go at those changes, if there’s a more specific thing you want changed about the FUR, just let me know. I really cannot thank you enough for bearing with me on this image review so far- it’s been quite the learning experience for me, and I’m really sorry that the images needed so much work- I should have been more diligent in checking them before the FAC. Best wishes, Eddie891 Talk Work 15:05, 4 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]
No worries. That's better and good enough for our purposes. Nikkimaria (talk) 15:07, 4 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • File:Canadian_Corps_-_Canadian_war_graves.jpg needs a US copyright tag, and when/where was this first published?
  • Er, I'm not sure when exactly, but the source website says "Restrictions on use: Nil Copyright: Expired" I could add at {{PD-because}}, but I am not sure whether there's an applicable tag. Replaced with Prince-Edward-Duke-of-Windsor-King-Edward-VIII (retouched).jpg, because I cannot be sure about the publication date.
  • Same question here I'm afraid: where and when was this first published? Additionally the UK tag in use requires that the image description include details of steps taken to try to ascertain authorship. Nikkimaria (talk) 14:35, 7 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oh dear, I had hoped an image from another FA wouldn't need licencing work. Replaced with File:17th Earl of Derby.jpg
  • Nikkimaria: My understanding is that under the old (Canadian) Copyright Act, photographs were protected only for 50 years after their creation, so this would have entered the PD in 1988, meaning it was in the PD on January 1, 1996, meaning it is in the PD in the US. Not sure if this is correct Eddie891 Talk Work 16:14, 7 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Absolutely it's PD in Canada. However, the US situation is a bit more complicated than just a 'PD in 1996' yes/no, and depends on when the item was published - see the Cornell copyright chart. Also on looking more closely at this, it seems the watermark suggests a UK rather than Canadian origin? Nikkimaria (talk) 16:45, 7 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • File:Site_plan_for_the_Forceville_Communal_Cemetery_Extension.jpg: when/where was this first published and what is the author's date of death?
  • replaced with File:Cimetière britannique de Forceville 5.jpg,
  • File:Thiepval_Memorial_to_the_missing.jpg: since this is in France, which does not have freedom of panorama, this will need a tag for the monument.
  • Sorry but I don't know what to tag it with here, replaced with File:Merchant Navy Memorial - south elevation 01.jpg and File:India Gate in New Delhi 03-2016.jpg

Nikkimaria (talk) 20:31, 6 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  • Nikkimaria: mostly replaced the images with better ones that illustrate parts of the text still. Let me know what you think. I can add alt text, but am embarrassed to admit that I don't really understand the concept of alt text (and our page doesn't help my understanding much). The main thing I am unclear on is how much description and detail the alt text need to give. Best wishes, Eddie891 Talk Work 14:06, 7 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Partial source review

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  • Evaluation of sources listed under "Newspapers, gazettes, journals & others" only
  • All sources look OK to me.
  • Para that starts "On 5 July 1902..." isn't this a bit WP:UNDUE because both sources cited are from more than a century ago? If no more recent sources find this part relevant, I would suggest reducing it.
  • I've cut down
  • I don't understand why some non-book sources are cited inline and others are listed in this section.
  • There should only be websites inline (mainly because they don't often have publication dates). I tried to move those that I missed.
Source checks
  • Checked smh.
  • Checked Guardian 1901. I can't see where this source supports the content.
  • It's published in 1900 actually, revisiting the source. It's more specifically cited in The Morning Post 1900
  • Checked Guardian 1949. It generally supports the sentence but not the phrase "bachelier-es-sciences" (although the other source does). Is French really necessary here? The link redirects to Bachelor of Science.
  • No particular reason I guess
Other comments
  • Publications are listed in text with no or minimal further details, eg "He published Educational Reform: The Task of the Board of Education in 1899" and "Ware published an account of the work of the IWGC in 1937 titled The Immortal Heritage". This might be better handled by a dedicated "List of works" at the end of the article. buidhe 15:54, 12 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Coord note

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Hi, noting the partial source review above but I would like to see all sources checked for reliability and formatting, and I see Buidhe has kindly requested that at the top of WT:FAC. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 12:24, 30 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Source review – pass

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Formatting and consistency

  • "The Dominions Office and Colonial Office List Comprising Historical and Statistical Information Respecting the Oversea Dominions and Colonial Dependencies of Great Britain" is listed in the References, but I can't see a short citation to it?
  • Cut-- There was a duplicate mention of one of Ware's awards earlier, another source went into more detail.
  • Generally book sources only include a year, not a full date, as you use a number of times. Per MOS:DATEUNIFY, "publication dates in an article's citations should all use the same format", so I would expect that for books, either all would use YYYY, or all would use DD Month YYYY, not a mix.
  • think I got them all to YYYY
  • "Skelton, Tim; Gliddon, Gerald (2008)" links the publisher, but no other book reference does.
  • un-linked
  • "Winter, Jay (2014)" lists a location, no other book references do.
  • cut

More to follow. Harrias talk 15:27, 30 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  • Ref #72, "Records" and ref #98, "History of CWGC" treat Commonwealth War Graves Commission as a publisher, but in ref #5, "Sir Fabian Arthur Gouldstone Ware", and ref #112, "Sir Frederic Kenyon sculpture added to CWGC collection", it is a work. Also, ref #188, "Records" uses a completely different format again (including possibly for the title). Be consistent (also #147, #151 and #155).
  • standardized to |website=Commonwealth War Graves Commission I believe
  • Ref #115, "How WWI remembrance monuments created beauty from chaos", needs a publication date and author added.
  • I don't see an author, added date. It's listed as part of BBC Four's feature here, but I doubt we can say for certain it was a single author
  • Ref #117, "Their name liveth for evermore", needs a publication date and author added.
  • added both
  • In ref #155, use Wikipedia's style guide and adopt title case for the title, rather than all caps.
  • Done
  • Ref #170, "Report of Imperial Committee on Economic Consultation and Co-operation. – Motion of Approval", Houses of the Oireachtas should be a publisher, not a work, I believe.
  • Well it's listed as a |website=, but changed to publisher
  • Refs #91 and #174, be consistent about how to format National Archives sources. There is also a stray asterisk in #174.
  • I think I standardized and definitely got the *, but could you double check please? There's a |work= for #91 but not for #174 but I think that's because they are different sources
  • standardized.
  • Refs #145 and #176, be consistent about how to format Hansard sources.
  • Think I got them
  • The first gives the title as "Imperial War Graves Commission HC Deb 04 May 1920 vol 128 cc1929-72" (the title and subtitle on the page), whereas the second simply uses "War Memorials" (the title alone). Harrias talk 17:01, 30 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Just the title will be fine, cut
  • Refs #182 and #187, be consistent about how to format Westminster Abbey sources.
  • Think I got them

More to follow. Harrias talk 15:42, 30 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  • I've read the GBooks preview several times, but it's choppy enough that it's hard to get a great impression of anything-- My feeling if I remember correctly was that it mostly said a lot about the commission and sort of repeated Longworth a pretty good bit and quotes some of his interviews at various times -- not really the stuff to put in an encyclopedia entry. With that being said, I will file a request at REX for the chapter and if they don't get back reasonably quickly will either purchase the book or bike to my local University Library to read the chapter. Perhaps there's a few sentences of detail to add. I should be back here one way or another by Saturday or Sunday. Eddie891 Talk Work 16:21, 30 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Honestly, if you're aware of it and don't feel that it adds anything significant from what you've seen, I'm not too concerned. The article includes all the major works on Ware that I've come across. Harrias talk 17:01, 30 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Harrias: I've just gotten the chapter from REX, I'll look into if there's anything worth adding shortly. Best, Eddie891 Talk Work 20:19, 30 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Yeah, I'm not such a fan of that chapter already, there's a good bit of over-simplification and what seem to be flat out errors (i.e. getting the establishment of the National Committee for the Care of Soldiers’ Graves date wrong and the date Ware was made acting director of education, and omitting the airship debacle completely from why Ware was fired). I think I may get a few attributed quotes out of it, but I'm leery of relying on the chapter for specific details. Eddie891 Talk Work 21:04, 30 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ok Harrias, I've added a sentence and there's not much else worth adding... It quotes Ware pretty extensively so I could add some quotes, but I personally don't feel they would contribute very much to the article, let me know what you think. Best, Eddie891 Talk Work 21:32, 30 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Spotchecks

  • I checked every instance of ref #2, and in each case the cited fact appeared in the source work. The only point of concern was one instance of close para-phrasing:
    • Ref #002: "From 1899 to 1901 he contributed articles to the Morning Post."
    • Article: "From 1899 to 1901, Ware contributed articles to The Morning Post."
  • Ref #034 is fine.
  • Ref #072 is fine.
  • Ref #118 is fine.
  • Ref #176 is fine.

Just that one instance of close para-phrasing to sort out, and then we're done. Harrias talk 07:17, 2 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Harrias I've rephrased and split, let me know what you think. Many thanks again for taking this on. Best, Eddie891 Talk Work 12:35, 2 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Eddie891 That's all good for me now, I've marked this as a passed source review. Note that I will claim WikiCup points for this review. Harrias talk 14:46, 2 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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