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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Heuschrecke 10/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted 00:10, 12 March 2008.

Heuschrecke 10

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Other types of review that review against the FA Criteria : 1, 2, 3, 4.
Self-Nom: I'm nominating this article for featured article because it fits all of the criteria and it is overall a very good article. ~ Dreamy § 00:53, 2 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support Well written, well cited, and therefore well within FA required parameters. Well done. TomStar81 (Talk) 09:05, 3 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Neutral - Well written, but the article is composet to two-long-labels and it needs more references. MOJSKA 666 (msg) 16:58, 3 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oppose: article has serious issues, especially criterion 1A and 1C
  • Oppose for the moment. I agree with ЭLСОВВОLД on most points. I am sorry I didn't get round to it at the A-Class review. The prose is a bit choppy in places with a copyedit really needed. I would only copyedit it though once the chronology is sorted out. It jumps around a bit and needs specific sections that don't wander out. I also wonder how comprehensive it is, the article seems quite short, though I am no expert on tanks. If others say it is comprehensive then it is. There are also reference issues with author and publisher needing to be listed. So, good work, just needs quite a bit of refining to be FA. Woody (talk) 21:36, 3 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • Would you like to copy-edit it now? I have done a lot, I think. ~ Dreamy § 00:25, 4 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
      • I have given it a copyedit, you need to check the facts. There was a lot of redundancy in places, especially the cancellation section. You need to make sure that all of the weights in the weight section use {{convert}} (or do it manually). I also agree with Elcobbala that there are a few too many abbreviations in there.
      • I have removed most of the see also section as it just contained duplicate links. I will give it another run-through tommorrow. Woody (talk) 23:03, 7 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support Nicely written, and well cited. - Milk's Favorite Cookie 01:02, 5 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oppose, mostly sourcing issues:
    • Concur with elcobbola that the Reference section needs serious attention - cannot support in its current condition.
    • General citation comment - unless a statement is likely to be challenged, it really does not require more than one citation. Statements in the lead should not require citations unless they are really controversial, because the information should be repeated and cited later in the article. The first sentence has four citations!
    • The organization is a little confusing.. wouldn't Precursor be part of History?
    • "The design phase of the Heuschrecke began in 1942, when Krupp began designing..." Redundant use of "design".
    • Avoid beginning sentences with the word "this" referring to a previous concept: "This was because it possessed thicker armour..." Restate the concept you are talking about.
    • "The Heuschrecke consisted of a welded steel hull, with a width ranging from 10 to 25 millimeters..." Surely you mean thickness?
    • Again, are four citations necessary for the tank weighing 23 tonnes? Unless this is the most hotly contested topic since global warming, one will suffice.
    • I'm unclear how the Alkett/Rhinemetall-Borsig "competed" with the Krupp.. were they competing for the government contract?
    • In the caption of Alkett/Rhinemetall-Borsig photo, you call it a Heuschrecke 10. However, the whole setup of this article indicates that the Krupp tank was the Heuschrecke 10, like a model name. Does this mean that Heuschrecke 10 actually refers to a class of tank? If so, shouldn't the article be more balanced in its coverage? The whole thing is about the Krupp design with the Alkett/Rhinemetall-Borsig mentioned at the bottom. --Laser brain (talk) 18:45, 10 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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