Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/History of Northwest Territories capital cities/archive1

History of Northwest Territories capital cities

This is a self nomination.

This is my second attempt to gain this article featured status, the last attempt was at Wikipedia:Featured list candidates/List of Northwest Territories capitals in October 2005

The last nomination failed due to lack of plurality in support, there were no objections brought forward, but one comment suggested it might be better as a featured article then a list. I have revamped and renamed the page since, and put it through a Peer Review here. Wikipedia:Peer review/List of Northwest Territories capitals/archive1 I have taken every comment posted into consideration and expanded the article based on suggestion.

I belive this article from my own point of view is unique to Wikipedia. In that no one source paints an entire comprehensive picture and history of the geographical changes of Northwest Territories government. It was a challenge to filter and merge disjointed information.

I belive this article to be feature worthy or close to it, and I look forward to hearing your Comments --Cloveious 05:21, 10 April 2006 (UTC)

• Comment Few quick comments: The section on the "Carrothers Commission" seems out of place and should probably be merged into the section on "Yellowknife, Northwest Territories (1967 - present)". I'd remove the table of Carrothers Commission Candidates and simply list then with the text. The section on "Direct democracy for the new territory of Nunavut" seems clunky and has a tacked-on feeling. List of Northwest Territories highways is an odd choice to include as a See also. --NormanEinstein 15:58, 10 April 2006 (UTC)

Hi, thank you for the interesting feed back let me see if I can address and fix some of your concerns, and give those sections a less clunky feel, for the record the See also section has not been updated in a long time, I added other Northwest Territories related lists on a somewhat geographical and political basis.--Cloveious 22:44, 10 April 2006 (UTC)

I belive I have addressed these concerns I have amended to and re-ordered the section on Yellowknife, Carrothers Commission and Nunavut. I belive it flows better now. The table is gone, and I have listed the communities within the text. I belive the Commission is to important to blend in, to Yellowknife alone, so I hope you will find the results of the amendments most agreeable. As well I have changed the See also a little. --Cloveious 02:26, 11 April 2006 (UTC)

• Oppose. Interesting stuff, but the images need sources (even if they are obviously old). Jkelly 21:13, 10 April 2006 (UTC)

I added the source to the one image missing source and I updated the Public Domain tags on a few of them since they became obsolete. --Cloveious 22:37, 10 April 2006 (UTC)

Image:FormerNWTcapitals.png still lacks information on where the map came from. Jkelly 18:10, 11 April 2006 (UTC)

Hi I added more information on the map template. --Cloveious 21:47, 11 April 2006 (UTC)

• Support. Solid, well-referenced encyclopedic article. A line about the circumstances of the sale of NWT before launching into the Red River Rebellion wouldn't be amiss. Jkelly 00:51, 12 April 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for the support, good idea I will certainly do that. --Cloveious 00:53, 12 April 2006 (UTC)

• Support looks good. Ardenn 18:42, 12 April 2006 (UTC)

• Object—Not well enough written. Most sentences need polishing. Tony 14:05, 15 April 2006 (UTC)

Hi Tony might you be a little more specific? --Cloveious 15:36, 15 April 2006 (UTC)

I have briefly gone over the introduction and Fort Garry Manitoba clause by clause and made some amendments. I don't have time to go over the rest of the article until this evening. --Cloveious 16:03, 15 April 2006 (UTC)

I am about halfway done the article in terms of polishing it up, I will finish tommrow afternoon. --Cloveious 04:31, 16 April 2006 (UTC)

• OK, take the opening paras:

The history of Northwest Territories capitals is unique compared to any other Canadian province or territory. Northwest Territories, Canada, has had seven capital cities since being purchased by Canada from the Hudson's Bay Company in 1869. The territory has changed the seat of government for numerous reasons, due to civil conflict, development of infrastructure, and revised territorial boundaries.

The result of this change has created a complex history and a long road to responsible government. The path of evolution for the territory has provided a challenge for the Territories government to effectively provide services and representation for the population. A number of communities in Northwest Territories have also unsuccessfully tried to become the capital over the years. The territory has had the unique occurrence of the seat of government being outside of the territorial boundaries twice in its history.

"compared to"—use "with" for contrasts, "to" for similarities (opening sentence).

make it "all other Canadian provinces and territories".

the reasons for the uniqueness needs to be explicit—"because it has had seven ..." (is that the reason it's unique? Unclear.)

Why repeat "Canada" so soon after (after "Northwest Territories")?

"since its purchase" would be better.

"The Territory"

"its seat of government"

"for numerous reasons, due to civil conflict," probably better just as "because of civil conflict, ..."

"The result of this change has created a complex history and a long road to responsible government." This is gobbledygook. The result has created a history? or a long road? What change?

"The path of evolution"—something's redundant there.

"effectively"—remove as redundant.

"also"—redundant (worse, in fact—gives wrong impression)

communities try to become the capital? No, they try to have a town or city become the capital.

"over the years"—probably redundant.

"has had the unique occurrence of the seat of government being outside of the territorial boundaries"—this is not a good wording.

On closer inspection, I'm afraid I have to revise my initial comment to 'very poorly written'. It's a great topic, but you need an editor to go through it intensively. Tony 04:50, 16 April 2006 (UTC)

Almost there + comment to Tony. "Very poorly written" is unfair and given the straightforwardness of some of your concerns, it would have been as quick to edit it yourself as provide the above list. I think this probably a good case of an editor working largely alone and not having enough critical distance on his/her own writing. In any case, I have given this a copy-edit so perhaps Tony might re-evaluate. It probably needs another going over but I think its better.

I'm not quite ready to support myself though because it's a touch underweight. Fort Smith was administrative capital for 55 years--surely we can say more about it. Where was the administration housed and so on. Also, I think the nominator should go over this and weed out instances of mentioning things as matter of fact before they have been described. I removed a couple of these (ie., dabbing Battleford in its first mention rather than just its second). I'll post more if it comes to me. Marskell 15:08, 23 April 2006 (UTC)

Also, is it possible to provide population and total area figures for the territory at various critical points? When Sask. and Alberta split and later when Nunavut was formed, for example. Marskell 18:33, 23 April 2006 (UTC)

Oh, and is the nominator sure its best not use the definite article for (the) Northwest Territories? The gov site uses the "the". Marskell 18:47, 23 April 2006 (UTC)

Comment to Marskell—huh? Tony 16:29, 23 April 2006 (UTC)

"Huh" re what? Marskell 18:27, 23 April 2006 (UTC)

• Better late than never support. I've come across this article a number of times in the last few months, and have always thought is was well written and a fine article. Surprisingly, I never noticed its nomination for FA status. I'd certainly support this being elevated to featured status, even though it looks like this proposal is getting a bit dusty. Agent 86 21:46, 28 July 2006 (UTC)