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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Hurricane Janet/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by GrahamColm 10:02, 22 June 2013 (UTC) [1].[reply]

Hurricane Janet

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Hurricane Janet (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

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Nominator(s): TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 14:43, 11 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Hurricane Janet was the strongest and deadliest hurricane of the 1955 Atlantic hurricane season, wreaking havoc in areas of Central America in September of that year. I feel that this article meets the FA criteria because it is generally well-written, concise, and meticulously referenced. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 14:43, 11 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Source review - spotchecks not done

  • FN2: formatting
Done - Added 'The' TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 22:40, 14 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Be consistent in what is wikilinked when
Done - There was only one reference wikilink, which I removed. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 22:40, 14 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Check edition formatting for books
Done - Since the Cite Book fill-out form inputs editions with just numbers and not extra 'ed.'s I've removed the aformentioned 'ed.'s
  • Since when are the Milwaukee Sentinel and the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette published in Miami?
Done - I had used the location of the actual published story, and not the newspaper, so I've changed that. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 22:40, 14 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Look at newspaper citations in general - there are significant problems with them
    • Not sure what's 'significant.' I looked through them and they seem to have consistent style. 22:40, 14 May 2013 (UTC)
  • Don't need retrieval dates for GBooks. Nikkimaria (talk) 21:32, 14 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Done - Removed retrieval dates for books hosted on Google. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 22:40, 14 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Comments (with the caveat that I was the GA reviewer)

Done – Relinked to the suggested article. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 15:54, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • I'd remove the mention of "1955" in the 3rd lede sentence
Done – Removed. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 15:54, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Moving towards the west" - this can be trimmed down to "Moving westward"
Done – Changed to suggested concise wording. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 15:54, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Why the refs in the 2nd lede paragraph?
Done – They weren't added by me, but since they didn't contribute much to the article, I removed them. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 15:54, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In its developmental stages near the Lesser Antilles, Janet caused significant damage on the island chain" - I'd get rid of "on the island chain", and if you wish, move "the Lesser Antilles" to after significant damage. BTW, the sentence says "caused significant damage... in damages" - is kinda redundant.
Done – Reworded the sentence. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 15:54, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "$7.8 million in damages" - why plural?
Done – Singularized. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 15:54, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • " in areas on Quintana Roo and British Honduras" - I think "of" would work better than "on"
Done – Changed word. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works)
  • "Janet's landfall as a Category 5 hurricane on the Yucatán Peninsula marked the first recorded instance that a storm of such intensity in the Atlantic basin made landfall on a continental mainland, with all previous storms making landfall as Category 5 hurricanes on islands." - this is weird and a bit longwinded and a bit unclear.
Done – I elaborated a bit. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 15:54, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "by the airlines Air France and Iberia" - I'd put "airlines" after "Iberia"
Done – Shifted wordings. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 15:54, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "By September 22 the storm system had already attained winds of 60 mph (95 km/h)." - any significance of this intensity? You say later that it became a hurricane at 1200 UTC that day, so this sentence feels useless.
Done – Removed the information on that, and reworded subsequent sentences as a result. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 15:54, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "At the time gale force" - add comma
Done – Since this goes along with the 60 mph statistic, so this has been removed. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 15:54, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "extended 75 mi (120 km/h) away from the center of Janet in its northern semicircle" - is this big or small?
Done – Since this goes along with the 60 mph statistic, so this has been removed. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 15:54, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "However, the hurricane began to reintensify in favorable conditions" - this isn't backed up by the best track (the favorable conditions part).
Done – Added a citation for the advisories.TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 15:54, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Janet remained a small hurricane throughout its trek across the central Caribbean Sea, with gale force winds extending 125 mi (200 km) out from the storm's center by September 25, only slightly larger than while the hurricane was over the Windward Islands." - few problems. You use "hurricane" twice, and it feels on the weak side (structure wise). I propose something like - "While trekking across the central Caribbean Sea, Janet was only slightly larger than while it was moving over the Windward Islands, with gale force winds extending 125 mi (200 km) out from the center by September 25." Much tighter, less redundancy.
Done – Changed to a more tighter and less redundant wording. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 15:54, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and Chetumal, Mexico. In Chetumal" - to avoid redundancy, why not "in the latter town/city/area"?
Done – Changed to 'in the latter city' TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 15:54, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Once over land, Janet considerably weakened to a Category 2 hurricane with winds of 105 mph (170 km/h), but quickly entered the Bay of Campeche by 1600 UTC on September 28 after crossing the Yucatán Peninsula with a forward speed of 21 mph (34 km/h)." - too long.
Done – I split the sentence up and made the Category 2 part one sentence. Then, I switched the forward speed part and the emergence into the BoC part around. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 15:54, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Janet eventually made its final landfall 50 mi (80 km) north of Veracruz, Veracruz" - exactly 50 mi? And I'd say "the city of Veracruz" instead of "Veracruz, Veracruz", personally.
Done – CHanged to the recommended wording. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 15:54, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "from Saint Lucia north to Dominica, and Grenada south to Tobago" - just gotta ask, but this is just Tobago to Dominica, excluding St. Vincent, right? Why not just say that? (or does source not?)
Done – Changed to suggested wording. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 15:54, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "remained in affect" - if it's a noun, it should be effect, if it's a verb, it's affect.
Done – Changed. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 15:54, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Done – As far as I know, there weren't many preparations. Since it was a sudden storm for the Lesser Antilles, there weren't many preparations outside of quick warnings. As for the Yucatan Peninsula, there was not prepatory information outside of the evacuations mentioned in the TC encyclopedia. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 15:54, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

That's it through the preps section. It's a really good article! :) ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:40, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • "During its existence, parts of the Lesser Antilles, ABC islands, and Central America were affected by Janet" - weird dangling participle.
Done – Changed to: "During its existence, areas of the Lesser Antilles, ABC islands, and Central America were effected by Janet."
  • "Strong winds were also reported to have destroyed docks and warehouses, and unroofed a hotel in' - remove those links in this sentence
Done – Links have been removed.
  • "All bridges in the island's interior regions were blown down" - blown down bridges doesn't seem quite right. Try finding other wording.
Done – Used the term 'collapsed' in place of that phrasing.
  • "St. Vincent was leveled" - was it actually leveled? That's a pretty strong assertion.
Done – Instead used 'mostly destroyed.'
  • "Further south" - when it's referring to distance, it's "farther". Ditto with " Further north" later on.
Done – Changed all instances of this text to 'farther'
  • The writing in "Lesser Antilles" is generally pretty meh, and could use more flow. It just doesn't seem up the standard of the MH.
Will look into this in a bit.
Done – Ahem. They were in low-Earth orbit. Fixed :P
  • Is there any impact in the western Yucatan peninsula?
Not done – Unfortunately I haven't found any information on Campeche, only sources state that it passed over the state but I haven't seen any impact there.
  • You're inconsistent whether you call it British Honduras or Belize throughout the article. Check how I do it for Hurricane Hattie.
Done – Consistesized this.
  • "damage to homes in Corozal Town totalled to $800,000" - no need for the "to". Also, it's "totaled"
Done – Fixed the aforementioned issues.
  • "In the British Honduras, the hurricane's effects were less significant than in Quintana Roo,[43] but in northern portions of the colony the storm killed 16 people and caused $5 million in damages." - few problems. First, "the British Honduras"? Second, you said earlier that that portions of northern BH "experienced the most severe devastation from Janet", so there are some contradictions.
Done – Changed up the context so there are no contradictions
  • "The strong winds also caused the crash of a relief plane, causing five deaths." - weird nominalization. Why not just "The strong winds caused a relief plain to crash..."?
Done – Changed to recommended wording.
  • " caused by Hurricanes Gladys and Hilda" - should "Hurricanes" be capitalized?
Done – No, they shouldn't.
  • "The floods contributed to a localized typhoid fever and dysentery outbreak,[49][50] causing over 1,000 people to evacuate out of the city." - was it the floods or the diseases that caused the evacuation?
Done – Clarified.
  • "An additional 36,000 people were being cared for in concentration camps." - uhh, Nazi? Wha?
Done – I did not know that concentration camps linked to Nazi concentration camps, but the source did say concentration centers, so I changed it to that.
  • "Although located south of where Janet made landfall, strong storm surge" - something is missing at the last part. It be cave man speak.
Done – I actually didn't know what the problem was, but I changed things around so it read "Although located south of where Janet made landfall, areas of Veracruz were inundated by strong storm surge, including the city's main streets and port."
  • "Rail operations along a railroad" - redundant?
Done – Removed the first 'rail'
  • "Further inland" - again, farther
Done – Yuppers.
  • "Further north, in Sonora, cotton crops damaged by Janet were estimated to amount to $12 million in damages." - I'm just gonna point this out with a generic - :/
Done – I got it :P
  • "to total to $200 million"
Done – Removed the 'to'
  • "led the passing of the 1955 Housing Act" --> "led to the passage of the 1955 Housing Act"
Done – Changed to recommended wording
  • How successful was the NHA in Barbados by the time the next hurricane struck?
Done – Added details about this.
  • "due to the food shortage and water shortage" - merge shortage
Done – Merged.
  • "Due to the food shortage resulting from Janet, food depots in Corozal, Louisville, and Orange Walk Town were tasked with distributing food. " - I think you should mention the word food a few more times
Done – Nah, I probably should subtract it a few more times. :P
  • "The threat of disease as a result of the damage caused by Janet forced a widespread vaccination against typhoid fever in affected areas." - weird structure
Done – Switched the structure a bit so it read "The potential for widespread disease following the devastation wrought by Janet forced a widespread vaccination initiative against typhoid fever in affected areas."
  • "supplied the colony with various relief supplies."
Done – Changed supplies to materials
  • "Federal relief agencies previously providing service for areas affected by Hurricanes Gladys and Hilda earlier in the year in western areas of the Gulf Coast of Mexico were ordered to extend relief operations to the Yucatán Peninsula." - alright, you use this sentence structure way too much in the article. Where you say something like [Noun adverbial phrase verb...]. It just creates a weird structure. Try switching it up, where you have a preposition in the front (such as "In areas affected by... federal relief agencies were ordered to extend operations").
Done – Did some work, and changed it to "In areas previously affected by hurricanes Gladys and Hilda earlier in the year, federal relief agencies were ordered to extend relief operations to the Yucatán Peninsula." Better?

Parts of the article (namely the Mexico section and parts of the aftermath) could use some more copyediting. I'm also a bit concerned there are no Spanish sources. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 04:32, 14 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

There are a variety of Spanish sources, but many of them repeat the same information already listed. I will soon copyedit the aforementioned sections, however. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 18:59, 17 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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