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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Maggie Gyllenhaal

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by User:SandyGeorgia 22:58, 6 December 2008 [1].

Maggie Gyllenhaal

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Nominator(s): ThinkBlue

I'm nominating this article for featured article status because I have expanded the article and have brought it to GA status and one peer review process. I look forward to any feedback that arises out of this process. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 23:28, 18 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Image review - All images have descriptions and verifiable licenses. Awadewit (talk) 23:49, 18 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Dweller
  • Maybe I'm being grizzly here, but I'm puzzled by the partial use of sourcing in the Lead. Either source all the information there, or none of it, on the basis that it's sourced in the main body. This way, it makes the information presented seem less reliable. --Dweller (talk) 14:21, 19 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Her mother is from a Jewish family in New York City and is the ex-wife of Eric Foner, a history professor at Columbia University." Unsourced. --Dweller (talk) 14:23, 19 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "she worked a summer job as a waitress" To an Englishman, this comes across as less than formal language. Unsure about American English, so left it. I fixed another more definite informality. --Dweller (talk) 14:24, 19 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Have to agree, but I'm pretty sure it's standard American usage. There's no question that it sounds sloppy (to us), but I'm hesitant to critique it, lest pride is wounded and an AE vs. BE conflict erupts.--Adasta 10:31, 22 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I fixed the sentence, does it make sense? --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 18:02, 24 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Lead looks a reasonable length - could add fiancé to it. --Dweller (talk) 14:30, 19 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • Don't put the sentence you suggest into the lead. It has one "and" too many. I have restructured in the Personal life section, where I think it belongs. In the lead, I advise you limit yourself to a minimal "Since 2006 she has been engaged to actor Peter Sasgaard". Brianboulton (talk) 22:15, 19 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • Got everything. The reason I left the references in the lead was to support the information stated there, so it wouldn't become a problem, but seeing how it was brought up, I removed them. I got your concerns, except for the high school thing; Hardvard-Westlake was the high school Gyllenhaal graduated from. Also, would this, for the lead, ---> "In her personal life, Gyllenhaal has been in relationship with actor Peter Sasgaard and announced their engagement in 2006 and together they have a daughter", work? --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 19:34, 19 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Support: I helped peer-review this. During and after the review, a great deal of work was done to bring the article up from what was a fairly raw state to its present form. This is now, I believe, a comprehensive and well-written biography of an interesting up-and-coming star. I have just one quibble, and one caveat:

  • Quibble: Could a more easily-understood term than "poverty non-profit advocacies" be found, to describe what she is supporting here? This is a post-peer review addition to the text, and although I can roughly guess its meaning, I'm not sure, and other readers might be likewise confused.
  • Caveat: My support has to be dependent on the sources being checked out as "reliable" by FA standards. I'm afraid that identifying reliable sources isn't my strong point, especially in the movie world where I know next to nothing. So I will require assurance on this point, after a sources check by Ealdgyth or another sources specialist.

I have done a little more copyediting, and have also commented on some of the points raised above. Brianboulton (talk) 22:15, 19 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Support Looks generally good. A couple of things:

  • It's a bit repetitive at times. At the end of the last paragraph of the lead, three sentences start with "She..." There are similar issues with the end of the first paragraph of "2006–present" and the end of the second paragraph of "Personal life".
  • The quote "Gyllenhaal humanizes her so deeply and richly, though, that" seem to set up a false contrast, because what goes before is omitted. I would use ellipsis: "richly...that".

Couldn't really find anything else. Lampman (talk) 19:12, 24 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Check and I hope I cleared the consistency issues. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 20:30, 24 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Looks good, support. Lampman (talk) 00:30, 25 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments -

Otherwise, sources look okay, links checked out with the link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 14:12, 25 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I removed the references and replaced "Digital Spy" with an Orlando Sentinel source. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 16:32, 25 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose Second source is to a wikipedia mirror [2] and has been for some time. Haven't looked at anything passed that. 86.44.30.20 (talk) 03:51, 29 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Reference has been replaced. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 19:08, 29 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Note:This oppose from an IP should be struck, as the issue raised is resolved. Brianboulton (talk) 00:10, 5 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Peanut4 (talk) 20:53, 3 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Issues resolved, EnemyOfTheState|talk 18:22, 5 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments. Overall, the article looks good, but I have some concerns:

EnemyOfTheState|talk 08:49, 4 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Issues resolved, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 21:53, 5 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments I was asked to review this and have read it carefully. While I think it is close to FA standards, here are my pretty nitpicky concerns so far:

  • I would mention her daughter in the lead in connection with her realtionship with Peter Sarsgard - having a child is pretty important in someone's life.
  • I know refs in the lead was mentioned above, but there is a direct quote in the lead Gyllenhaal drew criticism in 2005 for her opinion that America was "responsible in some way" for the 9/11 attacks. , and as such it needs a ref per WP:LEAD and WP:MOSQUOTE
  • Her parents' marriage is mentioned, but not their 2008 divorce - I would think having her parents divorce after 32 years would be traumatic for all involved and would mention it either in the Early life or Personal life section.
    • I think I would say something at the end of the first paragraph of Early life after Her mother is from a Jewish family in New York City and is the ex-wife of Eric Foner, a history professor at Columbia University.[4][5] like "Gyllenhaal's parents, who married in 1977, filed for divorce in October 2008." or perhaps "Her parents filed for divorce in Octobner 2008 after 32 years of marriage."[4]
  • There are several internal consistency issues with the article - something is done one way in one place and a different way elsewhere in the article, or the lead (summary) has more detail than the body of the article. The detail should be in the text with the lead as more of a summary.
  • Could the date be given for After studying at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art in London,[6] she had a summer job, working as a waitress in a Massachusetts restaurant.[7] to provide context for the reader?
  • Same thing for She made her theatrical debut in the Berkeley Repertory Theatre production of Patrick Marber's Closer,[10][11] for which she received favorable reviews.[12][13] please
  • Awkward sentence Secretary marked the first time Gyllenhaal performed full frontal nudity on film.[22] - do you really perform nudity? Perhaps something like Secretary was Gyllenhaal's first film role which featured full frontal nudity.[22] would be better?
  • Could this be tightened up? In 2003, she co-starred with Julia Roberts in Mona Lisa Smile.[24] In an interview with The Daily Telegraph, she revealed the reason for accepting the role of Giselle in Mona Lisa Smile was ... to something like In 2003, she co-starred with Julia Roberts in Mona Lisa Smile in the role of Giselle.[24] In an interview with The Daily Telegraph, she revealed the reason for accepting the role was ...?
  • Also need a date in Gyllenhaal returned to theater in a Los Angeles production of Tony Kushner's Homebody/ Kabul as Priscilla, ... please
  • Some short sentences could be combined to flow better perhaps (less choppy):
    • The film generated mostly critical reviews.[26] Manohla Dargis of the Los Angeles Times described the film as "smug and reductive".[27] could perhaps be The film generated mostly critical reviews,[26] with Manohla Dargis of the Los Angeles Times describing it as "smug and reductive".[27]
    • She also recorded songs for the movie's soundtrack.[24][36] She called the role the "roughest, scariest acting ever" and said she is more natural singing on screen than acting.[36] could perhaps be She recorded songs for the movie's soundtrack,[24][36] calling the role the "roughest, scariest acting ever" and adding she is more natural singing on screen than acting.[36]
  • What is this sentence doing in a section called "2002–2005", especially when the next section is "2006-present": Gyllenhaal was invited to join the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences in 2006.[38]
  • I think it should at least be "attacks on" in Gyllenhaal depicted Alison Jimeno, the wife of Port Authority officer Will Jimeno, in Oliver Stone's World Trade Center, based on the September 11 attacks of the same-title towers of New York City.[48][49] I also think the "same-title towers" is a bit odd - I would prefer just linking to World Trade Center (the buildings). This last is my opinion - not actionable if you prefer.
  • Avoid "recently", time rolls on and it won't be that recent - so She recently finished filming the comedy Farlanders, to be released in 2009,[62]... would be better as something like In late 2008 she finished filming the comedy Farlanders, to be released in 2009,[62]... perhaps.
  • In the Controversy section, there should be areference right after the direct quotations per WP:MOSQUOTE
  • This is awkward "expressed" does not seem to the right verb here She said she would have left the project if the Jimenos wanted, but Allison Jimeno expressed that she and her husband were comfortable with her and "had no problem with her in [the] movie".[101][102] maybe "expressed the opinion" or just change it to "said" or some similar verb?

OK, all done. Hope this helps, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 21:40, 4 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • I have struck all the resolved issues
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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