Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Malaria/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted 00:00, 16 July 2007.

Malaria

Just saw it and thought I'd nominate it. It already has reached "good article" status; however, it may be a bit long. ~ thesublime514 • talk • sign 20:47, June 26, 2007 (UTC)

The "Policy Implementation and Access to Anti-Malarial Drugs in Developing Countries" section needs reviewed. Needs wikified, referenced, and checked for possible copyvio. --- RockMFR 23:31, 26 June 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Comment. This article isn't yet close to the standard of other medical FAs (see criterion 2, should conform to WP:MEDMOS); a peer review would be a good step. For comparable articles, Influenza, Tuberculosis or Tourette syndrome might be helpful. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 22:40, 27 June 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- Oppose. No change in over a week, original nominator has not responded, switching to Oppose and refer to peer review. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 23:21, 8 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

I agree with Sandy. And the writing could do with a spruce up. For example, in the lead, "Commonly-associated"—read the MOS. "Currently" sounds very temporary; remove it. "Malaria transmission can be reduced"—oh, scientists should know better: "The incidence of ...". By, by, by. "Most adults from endemic areas have a degree of long-term recurrent infection and also of partial resistance; the resistance reduces with time and such adults may become susceptible to severe malaria if they have spent a significant amount of time in non-endemic areas. They are strongly recommended to take full precautions if they return to an endemic area. Malaria infections are treated through the use of antimalarial drugs". Perhaps you can remove "a degree of" and "also" (I'm unsure; try without). "spent significant time in". "They" is initially unclear. "If returning to". "Treated with". Tony 03:23, 12 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose. Yes, it needs refactoring work. For instance, the "causes" and "pathogenesis" sections can't really be separated in this case imho, and there is another major section uncomfortably squeezed in between that should also be merged with the two I just mentioned. That would be a start. Spamsara 11:44, 12 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.