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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/R2K: The Concert/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Gog the Mild via FACBot (talk) 18 September 2022 [1].

R2K: The Concert

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Nominator(s): Pseud 14 (talk) 19:34, 13 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

After working on Philippine-related BLP articles and bringing them to FA, I've decided to explore other interests within music by working on a concert article and take a bit of a break from another biography. This article is about a concert event staged by Filipina singer Regine Velasquez. It went through a GAN and has undergone a copyedit to address MoS, flow, punctuation issues. I feel ready to bring this to FAC. Constructive criticism, in any form and from anyone, will be appreciated. Happy to address your comments and thanks to all who take the time to review. Pseud 14 (talk) 19:34, 13 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from ChrisTheDude

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  • "which she performed during the opening set." - normally the term "opening set" means that the artist performed two distinct sets (not including any encores) with an interval between them. Was this the case here? I can't see any mention of the show comprising two separate sets......
I've revised and went with "opening number" instead to be more specific. Let me know if that reads better.
  • "Velasquez performed in small venue tours" - I think just "Velasquez performed in small venues" would be better
Done
  • "In January, Velasquez's publicist" - I suggest saying January 2000 just to be completely clear
Done
  • "During that time," - unclear what "time" this refers to. I'd be tempted to just delete these words
Removed
  • "The show featured a 360-degree configuration with an end-stage setup" - what's an "end-stage setup"?
That would be the stage positioned on either ends of the the arena/stadium (basketball/football venues converted for a concert set-up), instead of being in the middle of the field/court. Should look something like this.
  • "long skirt panels to let it flow with the wind" - don't think there's much wind in an indoor venue......?
Good point! I meant to write wind machine, but I've scrapped this line otherwise, as it would be clunky.
  • Does the concert synopsis cover one specific night or was the performance the same both nights?
The setlist was the same on both nights, but I referred to the media source/broadcast (and the article/reviews referenced), which was that of the last night's performance.
  • "a performance of the Carpenters's "One Love"" => "a performance of the Carpenters' "One Love""
Fixed
  • "The setlist continued with the Isley Brothers's "For the Love of You"" => "The setlist continued with the Isley Brothers' "For the Love of You""
Fixed
  • "The film featured previews of multiple snippets of live performances from the show" - I think just "The film featured multiple snippets of live performances from the show" would work better
Done
  • Something appears to have gone wrong with the formatting of the personnel - Vic del Rosario and Hotlegs do not seem to be in the right place?
I think I was able to fix it now. Following this format

Thank you for your review ChrisTheDude. I have addressed the above points. Let me know if I may have missed anything. Thanks --Pseud 14 (talk) 16:50, 18 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@ChrisTheDude: Apologies for the ping, I understand you may have been swamped on and off wiki, and busy reviewing FACs/FLCs too I was wondering if you got a chance to look at the changes made based on your commentaries and if there are something I may have missed. Thanks as always. --Pseud 14 (talk) 13:30, 20 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
I saw that another editor had added comments as well and figured I might as well wait until you'd addressed everything. I'll take another look shortly...... -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 16:11, 20 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@ChrisTheDude: Ahh that makes sense, did not mean to rush in anyway ;) and thanks for having another look. Very much appreciated. --Pseud 14 (talk) 16:29, 20 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Support from NØ

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Reviewing this. Apologies for being a bit late with this one!

  • "held on April 7 and 8, 2000" - There isn't a comma after the year "2000" here but you seem to have included one everywhere else for dates mid-sentence.
Done
  • The second and third sentences of the lead's first paragraph both start with "it", optional but you could introduce a variation here
Done
  • "Marc Lopez and Louie Ignacio were chosen as musical director and television director, respectively" - The repetition of "director" could be eliminated with, let's say, "Marc Lopez and Louie Ignacio were chosen as musical and television directors, respectively"
Done
  • "The designer's inspiration was Dolce & Gabbana's" - Maybe "The designer was inspired by Dolce & Gabbana's" instead
Done
  • The last two sentences of the Background section look a bit similar to me so could they be merged? "Other outfits worn by Velasquez included a yellow gown embellished with butterfly appliqués, accentuated with long skirt panels;[18][19][14] and a black backless long gown patterned with sheer fabrics that bared the singer's midriff, upper thighs, and legs."
Done
  • Is there a reason the original artists for some of the covers she performed are not included?
This actually came up during GAN as well. All covers include the original artists, except I believe for the cover versions of duets and the encore covers which was a medley of 4 songs. Reasoning is, I was trying to avoid WP:SEAOFBLUE, if that is acceptable.
Good to know this has been addressed already.--NØ 13:19, 19 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "[Velasquez] made good on every promise she made before the concert" - Do we have any information on what these promises were that can be added to Background? Readers will probably be curious after this sentence
I have added a couple of sentences in the second para of the Background section.
Satisfied by the information added. Great job finding this so quickly.--NØ 13:19, 19 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Are three critics enough to conclude unanimous agreement? Might be safer to remove that word
Removed word, but also added another review from one critic to support.
Removed the duplicate link from the Reception/Recordings section.

Thank you very much for doing the review MaranoFan. And no one's ever late to the party! :) I have addressed the above points. Let me know if I may have missed anything. --Pseud 14 (talk) 13:00, 19 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Support from Ippantekina

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  • "with a show title yet to be confirmed" unnecessary
Removed
  • I think rumors or premature information like "It was initially revealed that American singer-songwriter Brian McKnight was in talks to appear as one of the guest acts alongside Sharon Cuneta" can be safely removed
Removed
  • I think the bit explaining her anxiety and nervousness is a little wordy; we can cut down the quotes as the remaining part suffices
Removed the second quotation and paraphrased
  • Just a suggestion, but adding release years for the songs could be helpful
I have added the year of release where possible, with a few exceptions, in cases of a medley
Looks good to me. Ippantekina (talk) 01:33, 22 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Try paraphrasing some quotes in the reception because it currently looks a little farm-ish
Paraphrased and trimmed
Reads really nice now. Ippantekina (talk) 01:33, 22 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • I am not a big fan of quote boxes and their use is discouraged per WP:LONGQUOTE, but you can consider yourself if it is helpful to keep the box or not.
Removed quotebox

That's all I have. Ippantekina (talk) 04:42, 20 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks so much for providing your review Ippantekina. I have addressed the above points. Let me know if they are to your satisfaction. --Pseud 14 (talk) 13:23, 20 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Support on prose-- Ippantekina (talk) 01:33, 22 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Elias / Your Power

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A pop music-related article? A Filipino pop music-related article? Well it seems like I'm gonna enjoy reading this. Don't mind if I do - will be back with comments about prose within the week. ‍ ‍ Your Power 🐍 ‍ ‍ 💬 "What did I tell you?"
📝 "Don't get complacent..." 14:40, 20 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

Background and development

  • "The cover album contains" -> "A cover album, it contains"
    Done
  • "and was issued" -> "and was" there can be easily removed, I feel
    Done
  • "It was a commercial success" -> which one? The VCD or the album? Obvious question with an obvious answer, but professional prose to me is free of any possible ambiguities
    Changed to album
  • You consistently refer to R2K with "show" in the singular form, but there is one sentence here where you say "shows".
    Fixed
  • "show(s)" appears in three consecutive sentences here as well
    Tweaked to avoid repetition
  • I'd clarify that Velasquez presented the concept of an automated flying rig to whoever was going to build it
    I went with "presented the concept to her team", since the succeeding clause mentioned "custom-built" which would perhaps imply they hired and worked with folks who eventually got pitched with the idea too. If that makes sense.
  • "Laurel also produced" is the "also" necessary?
    Removed
  • I wonder if "spaghetti strapped" is meant to be hyphenated
    Agree

Concert synopsis

  • "While two female dancers lifted by wires performed aerial acrobatics, Velasquez" -> "As two female dancers..."
    Done
  • The "with" in "continued with the song" can be safely removed
    Done
  • "It was followed by a duet of 'I Believe' and 'The Prayer' with Ogie Alcasid and Janno Gibbs." -> The "with" there suggests that Regine performed with Ogie and Janno, and that goes against the "duet" descriptor
    Removed "duet"
  • "Velasquez was lifted by wires revealing long skirt panels" Did the act of lifting her reveal the long skirt panels, or did the wires reveal the panels? If it's the former, I'd put a comma after "wires"; if it's the latter, I'd change "revealing" to "that revealed"
    Should be the former, and changed as suggested
  • "Velasquez returned onstage introducing the song she interpreted during the millennium television special 2000 Today, and proceeded to perform 'Written in the Sand'." Was "Written" the song she interpreted during 2000 Today? The wording makes it unclear
    Rephrased

Will take a look at the critical reception section after some merienda ‍ ‍ Your Power 🐍 ‍ ‍ 💬 "What did I tell you?"
📝 "Don't get complacent..." 07:37, 21 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your initial review Your Power. Comments above have been actioned. Let me know if I may have missed anything. Have a lovely merienda! --Pseud 14 (talk) 14:18, 21 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@Pseud 14: no problem, and thanks for the well wishes! This afternoon I had scrambled eggs on top of pancit canton. While an unorthodox combination to some I think it works really well :") Back on topic - I have made a couple (hopefully) minor copyediting to the article. Feel free to revert any of the edits if you don't agree with them. Plus I have striked all but one of the comments listed above.
Unfortunately I'll have to leave the "reception" comments after I go to bed as it is getting late here. Have a nice rest of your day, ‍ ‍ Your Power 🐍 ‍ ‍ 💬 "What did I tell you?"
📝 "Don't get complacent..." 17:01, 21 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Your Power, Goodness, that is mouth-watering. Def not unorthodox, I go for hard boiled eggs with a semi-soft yolk as a preference. Gotta get one of those when I have a chance. No worries, I have addressed the remaining item above and thank you for your edits they look great. --Pseud 14 (talk) 18:33, 21 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Reception and recordings

  • "He continued to" - the last two words are extraneous to me
    Removed
  • Several quotations here seem paraphrasable. For instance, "He continued to praise her team's 'meticulous preparations'" -> "He appreciated how much work went into preparing for the show", or "also deemed it 'the concert to beat in terms of vocal quality and production values'." -> "considered its production and vocal performances a benchmark against which other Philippine concerts can be measured", or "Velasquez's vocal power and camp appeal'" --> "Velasquez's theatrics and vocal talents"
    Paraphrased as suggested
  • I read the Manila Standard review and I didn't get the impression it was "enthusiastic" like The Philippine Star reviews were - often after Isah Red lists down praise they follow it up with some sort of critique or bone-picking. Can we change it to "Despite what he perceived as flaws in Velasquez's spiels mid-concert" or whatever criticism works best ?
    Reworded to "Writing for the Manila Standard" so it comes across as neutral and took your suggestion of paraphrasing the quotation. Since Red's review had both praises and critique, I wanted to separate the positives which are listed in the first para, as the criticism is mentioned in the second para.
    Fine by me
  • "noted 'the most iconic image' of the singer years after the concert" Two things. You might want to be careful with using "noted" this way. "Argued" seems like the better choice here. Second, there seem to be missing words before "the most iconic image" quotation. Might I suggest changing to ".. while in a 2017 retrospective, Elvin Luciano from CNN Philippines argued that it was one of Velasquez's most memorable moments"
    Done
  • The "while" in "while adding that the colors..." can be cut
    Done

Set list looks fine. Same goes for Personnel although I feel like "Dancers" should be on a separate line.

Fixed, let me know if it looks ok on a separate line.
Good enough to me

That's all from me @Pseud 14. Interesting read. I have only heard of Regine through occasional glimpses at TV talk shows, and while she always struck me as a fascinating figure, I never really got to listen to any song of hers. That might change today. Anywho, once all of my remaining concerns are addressed, I'll look through the article prose once more. If I can't find any more nits to pick, I'll be glad to support on grounds of the writing ‍ ‍ Your Power 🐍 ‍ ‍ 💬 "What did I tell you?"
📝 "Don't get complacent..." 05:51, 22 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks Your Power. All additional comments have been actioned. Let me know if I might have missed anything. --Pseud 14 (talk) 12:06, 22 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
And thank you for the prompt replies @Pseud 14 I read through the article, and I have nothing else to say; its prose looks solid enough to me. I'm happy to support this for promotion on grounds of the prose. If you have time to spare and are willing to QPQ, I have a FAC open for Happier Than Ever: A Love Letter to Los Angeles -- seeing as you take interest in popular music, I figured I'd ask you for input. Thank you for the work you've done to the article, and have a good day! ‍ ‍ Your Power 🐍 ‍ ‍ 💬 "What did I tell you?"
📝 "Don't get complacent..." 14:12, 22 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Appreciate your support and comments to help the article get in shape Your Power. Sure, I'd be happy to have a look at your FAC in the coming days. --Pseud 14 (talk) 14:16, 22 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Source review – pass

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Version reviewed. Spot-checks not included.

  • Source 3 needs a page number (E2).
Added
  • How do we know for sure that source 4 is the actual newspaper entry? I'm not sure what I'm looking at. An image with a pink background and the supposed prose of the post does not look very legitimate. Is this "screenshot" (if that is what this is) captured by a verified/authorized user?
I believe this was a snippet of transcribed articles in 1999. My search yielded this page. Is this something that can alternately be used? I couldn't find an archive at Wayback and only used this sourcing to support that she in fact did the show on those dates and what the show title was. Also, could this be used as an alternative high-quality source to support that? Otherwise I can remove it.
This indicates that it is a fan website so I wouldn't use it. The alternative is much better IMO. FrB.TG (talk) 18:58, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Point taken I have removed the source and replaced with the alternative.
  • Source 5 - see directly above.
Used this poster as a secondary source to support source 4 (show title and dates). Alternative I could find is this same source listing shows and dates where the poster is also included. Otherwise I can remove it too.Pseud 14 (talk) 19:16, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Per above. FrB.TG (talk) 18:58, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
I see there are six other snippets from the fan site. If you can somehow verify the legitimacy of these articles, simply removing these links from the refs (not the entire refs, just links) should do. Some articles just aren't available online. FrB.TG (talk) 18:58, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Ah yes, I remember you had suggested this at one of your reviews at FLC re sourcing for articles that aren't really online. But since it's FAC, I'd be more inclined to just remove this one as well. Since the alternative suggest above also has the same information Pseud 14 (talk) 19:16, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Done
  • Source 10 needs a page number (G1).
Added
  • Source 11 needs a page number (B6).
Added
  • Source 22 - the "author" is Isah V. Red, not Isah Red. (Using "author" in scare quotes because Red is the editor, not the author; use |editor-last1= and |editor-first1= parameters instead. FrB.TG (talk) 16:25, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Parameters used
Thanks for doing the source review FrB.TG, I have addressed the above and provided my responses on two items. Let me know your thoughts and I'll can action accordingly. Pseud 14 (talk) 18:20, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for your comments and insights FrB.TG, I have addressed two remaining points and have replaced with the suggested alternative. --Pseud 14 (talk) 19:16, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Aoba47

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  • I would archive the source link for File:Regine Velasquez R2K Concert 2000.jpg to avoid any potential future headaches. This may not be necessary, but I would also an author link (here) with an archived version just so all the information is readily available to anyone interested.
  • Since Velasquez has been on multiple concerts, would it be helpful to include a concert chronology in the infobox similar to the one used in The Breeders Tour 2014?
  • I have a question about this part, Rajo Laurel, drawing inspiration from Dolce & Gabbana's "print-on-print" collection. When I first read it, I thought Velasquez had some role in this inspiration, but the article attributes this entirely to Laurel. If it was all Laurel's ideas, I would say something like "Rajo Laurel who drew inspiration ..." to avoid this misinterpretation.
  • I found the opening number bit in the lead to be a little confusing. On my first read, I thought the Jennifer Lopez medley was the opening number, but it is really the Backstreet Boys (at least from my understanding). Are all these songs part of the opening number? I was further confused by this as the article and set list put the "Larger than Life" part as separate and before the Lopez medley.
I revised it, as the first two numbers were consecutively performed, so I used the term "opening set" instead to refer to both back-to-back numbers.
  • Sorry in advance if this is a silly question. Was there a physical release for this concert similar to Back to Basics: Live and Down Under? I was curious after reading about the show being broadcast.
There was a limited VHS release from the same footage during the Viva TV broadcast but it was recalled because of poor audio, which was a shame. Though I do not have an available source online to back this up, so I excluded it.
  • Should popular music be pop music? If not, then pop music should be linked in the "range from pop, ballads, rock and even rap" quote. I would also link rock and rap because if one genre is going to be linked, then they should all be linked for the sake of consistency.
  • I am curious about the context of the "I'm not out to prove anything" quote. Maybe it is because I am not familiar with this singer but it sounds rather defensive. Was there criticism of her performances in the past? This part and reading about her not feeling ready in the past for larger venues makes me wonder if parts of the story are missing.
I believe her saying "I'm not out to prove anything" is a response to media and perhaps public pressure leading up to the arena concert, since she's already an established artist at that time and did not need to prove anything to her audience but just give them a good show. Velasquez has been used to performing in theater scale venues, but at the urging of her label, and they believed that it was time for her to do a show in a larger venue, she agreed to do it, even if she felt at that time that she wasn't ready just yet.
  • I have some citation overkill concerns with four sources being used for this sentence: Critics agreed that the highlight of the night was Velasquez's aerial performance. I would either consider citation bundling or removing them as the information is already supported by the rest of the paragraph where the sources are already used.

Wonderful work with this article. I love that you are doing so much work on Filipino topics because it is great to see more representation on Wikipedia that is outside of the English-speaking world. I really should try my hand at a tour article one of these days as you have definitely inspired me with this kind of article. If this FAC passes, this would be one of only four tour FAs! Plus, random side note, I love how much Velasquez was inspired by Paula Abdul's Under My Spell Tour as I feel like a lot of people forget about Abdul's music. Either way, once everything has been addressed, I will be more than happy to support this FAC for promotion! Aoba47 (talk) 22:10, 8 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your kind words and review Aoba47. I have made the changes per your comments and provided explanations to those where you sought clarification. Let me know if I may have missed anything. I've been trying my hand in improving and contributing to Philippine-related articles. I took a break from BLPs for now and dabbled into tours/concerts as they are less stressful undertakings ;) I actually only know one Paula Abdul song tbh, (Straight Up. And had only known it was her tour that was the inspiration when I watched the interview. Pseud 14 (talk) 22:13, 9 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Thank you for addressing everything. Your responses make sense to me so rather than address them individually above, I just wanted to make a general response here. I really enjoy Abdul's music, but it is definitely from a particular time so I can see why people would not enjoy it anymore lol. I support your FAC for promotion based on the prose and best of luck with your future FAC work! Aoba47 (talk) 22:29, 9 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Comments Support from mujinga

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Linked in lead and first instance in the body
  • "I never realized that one day, I would be able to sing the theme songs of my own movies", before she sang a medley of her movie themes - perhaps "of her movie themes" is redundant?
Thanks for this, revised.
  • linking to "Aerial suspension" doesn't seem quite right, but then Aerial acrobatics is a disambig, tricky
Removed link
  • "some were critical of her spiels;" - what does spiel mean here? her between song comments?
Correct. There is no wiki article I could link and I could not think of an alternative term that can be used for such.
  • "This set list is representative of the last performance on April 8, 2000" maybe "This set list is representative of the second performance on April 8, 2000"?
Done as suggested
  • "Dancers - Hotlegs"" - only once dancer? Or maybe hotlegs is a troupe?
Yes, name of a dance troupe. Unfortunately, there is no listing of individuals names in the credits.
That's right, I only linked on the first instance of the work parameter (which I think is also acceptable as long as it is consistent)
Thanks for your review Mujinga. I have actioned the above comments. Let me know if there's anything I may have missed. Pseud 14 (talk) 22:52, 10 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
All my queries are answered satisfactorily, so switching to support Mujinga (talk) 11:44, 12 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@FAC coordinators: Apologies for the ping. I just wanted to get a status update for this nomination. Thank you for your time, and have a great rest of your week! Pseud 14 (talk) 13:50, 12 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Sure, go ahead. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 17:29, 12 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for your response Ian Rose. Did you mean ‘sure’ as ok to promote? Sorry for any confusion. Pseud 14 (talk) 17:55, 12 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Sorry, was multitasking and misread your note as a request to start a new nom. Regarding promotion, I'm expect I or one of the other coords will look it over before long. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 18:08, 12 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
No worries, much appreciated. Pseud 14 (talk) 18:09, 12 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@FAC coordinators: Apologies for the second ping. I understand things might be busy on your front. Just wanted a status update for this nomination as it has received a good deal of attention from reviewers already and much earlier FACs seem to have been promoted in the current batch of promotions. Thank you for your time and apologies again for being impatient. I hope everyone is having a good weekend so far! Pseud 14 (talk) 17:58, 18 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]


The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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