Wikipedia

Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/SMS Nymphe (1863)/archive1

< Wikipedia:Featured article candidates
The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Gog the Mild via FACBot (talk) 22 April 2021 [1].

SMS Nymphe (1863)

edit
Nominator(s): Parsecboy (talk) 11:35, 2 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

This was the first screw corvette built for the small Prussian Navy in the early 1860s; the ship saw action during the wars of German unification, most notably at the Battle of Jasmund in 1864. I wrote this article in 2018, it passed an A-class review in 2019, and it has now arrived at FAC. Thanks to all who take the time to review the article. Parsecboy (talk) 11:35, 2 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Support from Truflip99

edit

Providing a review, hoping you could reciprocate with my candidate below.

Lead

  • "armed with a battery of sixteen guns" -- link artillery battery?
    • Good idea
  • "Nymphe was laid down in January 1862, she was launched in April 1863, and she was completed in October that year." -- use of pronouns here feels redundant
    • Removed
  • "She was heavily engaged by a Danish frigate in the battle, and she received around 70 hits, mostly to her rigging, though she was not seriously damaged." -- slight ce; "battle; she received"
    • Done
  • link Mediterranean Sea (there's a later instance of this in the third paragraph that needs to be unlinked)
    • Good catch
  • "but she did see battle with French warships during the Franco-Prussian War in 1870." -- this would be better combined with the following sentence; something like: "During the Franco-Prussian War in 1870, a French squadron..."
    • Done
  • link blockade
    • Done

Design

  • "The ship's crew consisted of 14 officers and 176 enlisted men" -- link Officer (armed forces) and Sailor?
    • Done
  • "Nymphe was armed with a battery of ten 36-pounder guns and six" -- link artillery battery again
    • Done
  • "In 1869, these guns were replaced with seventeen, and later nineteen, rifled 12 cm (4.7 in) 23-caliber guns. Later in her career, these were reduced to nine guns." -- WP:NUM
    • This is fine as is per MOS:NUMERAL, and probably better left as words to avoid difficulty parsing "later 19, rifled 12 cm (4.7 in) 23-caliber"
      • Meant to delete this bullet, you are correct.
  • "rifled 12 cm (4.7 in)" -- adj=on

More later. --truflip99 (talk) 20:23, 4 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Service history

  • "Nymphe was transferred to Swinemünde to spend the winter months on 25 November, since the port would not remain frozen over as long as Danzig." -- slight reword: Nymphe was transferred on 25 November to spend the winter months in Swinemünde, since that port would not remain frozen over as long as Danzig.
    • Done
  • "In addition, as tensions rose between Denmark and Prussia over the Schleswig-Holstein Question" -- is there a reason why Prussia is linked here and not anywhere else nor any other nation?
    • Per WP:OLINK, countries should generally not be linked, but the general consensus I've observed over the years is that countries that no longer exist should generally be linked.
  • "The Danish fleet, which was much more powerful than the Prussian fleet, immediately proclaimed a blockade of the Baltic" -- link blockade again
    • Done
  • "but the weather was very poor, with snow showers hampering visibility." -- suggest omitting "very" here..
    • Done
  • "Dockum turned his flagship to starboard and began firing broadsides at Arcona." -- link Port and starboard
    • Done
  • "by which time the Austro-Prussian War had broken out and been decided at the Battle of Königgrätz." -- odd wording here... probably "and had been decided"
    • Fixed
  • "she turned to port and engaged the French squadron." -- you can probably omit the wikilink here...
    • Done
  • "reported in an 1899 account that Nymphe fired two broadsides at Bouët-Willaumez's flagship" -- dup link
    • Removed

Will finish this review off today. --truflip99 (talk) 21:22, 10 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks again. Parsecboy (talk) 21:50, 10 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Overseas deployment/Later career

  • doesn't linking Fiji, Samoa, and Singapore kinda breaks your rule?
    • Yes and no - there are of course exceptions to any rule, and the general preference to avoid linking modern countries breaks down when you're talking about city-states or small island countries
  • "where Sultan Jamal ul-Azam requested that Germany sign a protectorate agreement" -- link protectorate
    • Done
  • "ship traveled overland to Bangkok, Siam" -- link Bangkok
    • Done
  • "She was replaced by the ironclad Hansa, allowing her to continue her training cruise." -- She was later or then replaced...
    • Done
  • "On 1 April 1882, she was reactivated for another training cruise, which this year went to" -- which for that year went...
    • Done
  • "and had to go to Malta since a number of her crew were sick" -- after a number of her crew had gotten sick
    • Done
  • "She then began the voyage back to Germany, and on the way she stopped in Lisbon, Portugal, where she was visited by the King of Portugal, Luís I." -- omit
    • Done

Everything else looks good. --truflip99 (talk) 00:05, 12 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks very much! Parsecboy (talk) 11:58, 26 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from HAL

edit
  • The two Nymphe-class corvettes were ordered in the early 1860s as part of a program to strengthen the Prussian Navy as the likelihood of a conflict with Denmark over the Schleswig-Holstein Question became increasingly likely "As" seems slightly overused.
    • Done
  • tensions with rose between Denmark and Prussia
    • Fixed
  • Link snow showers. Never heard this in the context of snow before.
    • Done
  • The captions could use a few more links imo.
    • Added a couple to the lead image, but I don't know that the others warrant any
  • Sources look good.

More later. ~ HAL333 14:10, 5 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

  • What is the North Sea Flotilla? Should it be redlinked, uncapitalized, explained, etc?
    • A short-lived naval unit; I don't know that it warrants an article. Somewhere down the road, I may get around to an article on the Prussian naval activities during the war, which would have a section header to link to, but that's probably some way off.
  • Link Sortie.
    • Done
  • Link Rio like you did with other cities. Same thing with SF, Lisbon.
    • Done
  • Link coaling station.
    • Done
  • In the last two captions, I would insert a comma: , 1872
    • Done

That's all. ~ HAL333 18:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Image review

edit
  • Suggest adding alt text
    • Done
  • File:Loading_gun_on_the_Nymphe_1872_SLV.jpeg needs a US PD tag. Ditto File:Balloon_gun_on_Prussian_corvette_Nymphe_1872_NLV.jpeg. Nikkimaria (talk) 03:28, 7 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
    • Amusingly, I had looked at those two before I nominated the article to confirm they were fine to use, but apparently forgot to add the US tags. Per the description page, they were donated by the Victorian Patents Office in 1908, which demonstrates a pre-1923 publication. Thanks Nikki. Parsecboy (talk) 22:49, 8 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Source review

edit

Spotchecks not done. Version reviewed

HF

edit

Will review soon. Might claim for 5 points in the WikiCup. Hog Farm Talk 14:27, 5 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

  • " At midnight on 22 August, he sortied and began a slow approach to the French squadron, which remained at anchor overnight. At 01:15, Nymphe came within sight of the French ships" - So is the 01:15 on the 22? Maybe I'm just dense and use English wrong, but at least to me it seems like "midnight" could technically refer to 21 or 22.
    • It is a bit ambiguous, but in re-reading it, I realized I forgot to date the arrival of Bouët-Willaumez's squadron - that should give us the necessary clarity.
  • "fired two broadsides at Bouët-Willaumez's flagship, the ironclad Surveillante before turning to flee with Thétis" - Should be a comma after Surveillante, I believe.
    • Good catch
  • "Bouët-Willaumez decided that the attack demonstrated that the large ironclads couldn't be effectively used close to shore," - Don't use contractions
    • Fixed
  • So Nymphe went from England, to Brazil, to South Africa? Any rationale behind the seemingly unnecessary cut across the Atlantic?
    • Nothing specific in the sources, though if you look at eastern South America and western Africa, they aren't all that far apart. There weren't many well-developed ports in Africa before Cape Town at that time, and I'd assume the Germans didn't want to sail all the way to South Africa in one go.
  • " she was reactivated for another training cruise, which for year went to the Mediterranean" - Something seems wrong with "which for year" to me.
    • A missing "that" should fix it
  • Optional - split up the two images in the Later career section and move one up, for a more balanced use of images.
    • Done - and since the photos were taken in 1872, theoretically they make more sense to be in the section above anyway.

Looks good, anticipate supporting. I couldn't find much to even nitpick here. Hog Farm Talk 17:30, 5 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Parsecboy ? Gog the Mild (talk) 10:30, 15 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for the ping, Gog - everything should be addressed now. Parsecboy (talk) 16:27, 16 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Support on WP:FACR #1a, 1b, 1d, 1e, 2a, 2b, 2c, 4, and source reliability, did not check others. Hog Farm Talk 16:55, 16 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Featured_article_candidates/SMS_Nymphe_(1863)/archive1&oldid=1019375392"