Wikipedia

Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Tropical Storm Alberto (2006)

< Wikipedia:Featured article candidates
The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted 00:05, 18 February 2008.

Tropical Storm Alberto (2006)

edit

previous FAC (16:18, 9 February 2008)

After getting the OK from SandyGeorgia, I'm re-nominating this. The prose has been refined, and I've asked for another copyedit to make sure the prose is top-notch. FYI, This was a tropical storm that hit Florida from two years ago. Self-nom. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk) 18:20, 10 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • OK, leaving some comments here, because people are complaining of lack of reviewing. ;) Feel free to strike out when you think they're done:
    • On the Storm history section:
      • "...and an upper-level low to its west increased outflow over the system.[3] It moved slowly north-northwestward, and development was initially inhibited ..." - I can't figure out what the antecedent for "it" and "its" is there. Is it the precursor low, the upper-level low, or the tropical wave?
      • "The system gradually organized,[5] and by June 10 a circulation formed with sufficiently organized convection for the National Hurricane Center to classify it Tropical Depression One." - Add relevant links to "organization" there. I'm trying to think of which link would be the best in this case.
      • "The winds were not considered indicative of its intensity, which delayed the upgrade in classification for several hours" - What does that even mean? The NHC delayed upgrading the depression to a tropical storm operationally? It's not very clear here.
      • "However, deep convection developed and built westward against the wind shear as the overall organization improved, and at the same time Alberto turned northeastward under the influence of an approaching trough.[9]" - split sentence, or God kills a kitten. You have two different subjects and predicates here, so there's no need to mash them into one sentence.
      • "The storm maintained a well-organized structure[14] and persistent banding features over land,[15]..." - most people don't know what persistent banding features are. A link would be awesome here.
      • "...about six hours after weakening to a tropical depression it transitioned into an extratropical cyclone.[1]" - Where did this occur? Where was it heading?
    • On the Preparations section:
      • "The Cuban government evacuated over 27,000 people in the western portion of the country due to the threat of flooding.[20]" - When was this?
      • "In northwestern Florida, officials issued a mandatory evacuation order..." - Again, when?
      • "Due to the threat for precipitation, the Atlantic Storm Prediction Center posted rainfall warnings for all Atlantic coastal regions of Nova Scotia.[28]" - Two things here: Is there a relevant wikilink for the ASPC? And also, do you mean the threat of *heavy* precipitation? Because rainfall doesn't sound too threatening...
    • On the Caribbean impact section:
      • "Early in its duration, the tropical depression which later became Alberto produced heavy rainfall across the western Caribbean Sea." - Something is wrong with "its duration" there. It is not readily apparent what it means, nor it sounds like the proper way to phrase it. I'd write "early in Alberto's lifespan" or the actual date when Alberto caused the rainfall.
    • On the Florida impact section:
      • "At Egmont Key State Park, a woman fell overboard when a band of showers and surging currents made navigation difficult; her husband and a friend drowned after jumping in to save her without life jackets, though the woman returned safely to the boat.[24]" - You may want to mention that the woman was on a boat before saying she went overboard; I had to re-read that sentence to understand what was going on.
      • "The rainfall caused some temporary road flooding, though it was mostly beneficial in alleviating drought conditions." - Wait... road flooding is beneficial in alleviating drought? There's an unclear antecedent here.
      • "... the United States Coast Guard began searching off of Boynton Beach for a missing boat ..." - Um, off of?
      • "After searching for about 24 hours[35] at a cost of $278,000,[36] officials determined it to be a hoax, and imprisoned the man responsible for 30 months.[37]" - What was he charged with?
    • On the Southeastern U.S. section:
      • "Alberto produced tropical storm force winds along the South Carolina coastline;" - Do you need a hyphen in "tropical storm force winds"? I'm not 100% sure.
      • "While in the process of becoming extratropical, the rainbands of Alberto spawned seven confirmed tornadoes in the state, all of which but one rated F0;[1]" - So the other one was an F1? Be more explicit about this.
      • "Near the coast, the storm produced several waterspouts, some of which moved ashore in Dare and Carteret counties;[43] an F0 tornado struck Morehead City.[44]" - So, was the Morehead City tornado originally a waterspout? It is unclear due to the way the sentence is rearranged.
    • On the Canada impact section:
  • Overall, I also have a few questions. I saw a lot of times where there was a unit of measurement spelled out, with the corresponding converted unit abbreviated; I thought that both of them need to be either abbreviated or spelled out? I think this is more a question for Sandy and her plethora of MOS knowledge, but that rather stood out to me. What also stood out was that there were a lot of "reached", "peak" and "officially" in the article; more variety would be nice. You know, spice it up a little bit. :P Titoxd(?!? - cool stuff) 03:15, 11 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]
From WP:MOSNUM – "In the main text, spell out the main units and use unit symbols or abbreviations for conversions in parentheses; for example, a pipe 100 millimetres (4 in) in diameter and 16 kilometres (10 mi) long or a pipe 4 inches (100 mm) in diameter and 10 miles (16 km) long. The exception is that where there is consensus to do so, the main units may also be abbreviated in the main text after the first occurrence." – there ya go :) Carre (talk) 10:27, 11 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks, Carre! SandyGeorgia (Talk) 16:02, 11 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Featured_article_candidates/Tropical_Storm_Alberto_(2006)&oldid=1145853032"