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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Tyrone Wheatley/archive1

< Wikipedia:Featured article candidates‎ | Tyrone Wheatley
The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted 00:07, 6 February 2008.

Tyrone Wheatley

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I'm nominating this article for featured article because it is a very complete and well-sourced article on the career of a notable athlete. It will hopefully be the first modern NFL biography to achieve FA (only Jim Thorpe is a FA now).TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 18:06, 29 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

P.S. It also appears he will be the first College football player bio to achieve FA if successful. This claim like the NFL claim above is based on talk page project tags. Articles like Gerald Ford do not have college football project tags on them. There may be others like Ford, but it is impossible to tell. --TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 18:37, 29 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

It's quite clear a lot of work has gone into this article, but it still needs a fine toothed comb to resolve these issues that remain before it's a FA. MECU≈talk 20:56, 29 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

1= high school career, 2 = college, 3=NFL, 4=post-NFL, then the lead is broken up this way

first paragraph: General sentence, 1, 2, 3, 1/2, 4
Second paragraph: 3
Third paragraph: mostly 2 with a random reference to 1
fourth paragraph: 4, 1, 4

That is way too much jumping around and needs to be organized a bit better

Good luck! Karanacs (talk) 21:01, 29 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

16:16, 31 January 2008 (UTC)


  • Comment — I'd suggest trimming the lede down some, then restoring the TOC to its default position. To me, the lede should be something that gives you the quick highs and lows of the subject; this one's a bit too long. JKBrooks85 (talk) 00:01, 30 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support — Thanks for the quick response. This article is a well-cited, comprehensive, and accurate look at a player on the Michigan Wolverines football team, the winningest program in NCAA history. It's worthy of Featured Status, and I'm happy to give my support. My only two requests are that you somehow find a picture of Wheatley (If possible ... I know it's tough to find a free use one) and that you expand the early life section (again, if possible). Keep up the great work! JKBrooks85 (talk) 02:55, 30 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oppose: This sentence: "Based on graduating high school class year, Leslie is about 13 years younger than Wheatley" appears to be OR. The entire article could use a copy edit by someone who can write, overall very poorly written. I suppose you don't take comments from anonymous editors, as if you all aren't anonymous. But that's my take on reading the article. 69.137.246.61 (talk) 20:13, 4 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Example of poor writing: "his local public high school", wordy and vague to the point of being meaningless. It isn't "his" high school. Just name the school, what public high school isn't local? A sentence like TW attended Hamilton J. Robichaud High School in Inkster MI, or something like that. There are plenty of other poorly written sentences but I am not going through this with a fine toothed comb for you, that should be up to the person who thinks this article is ready for featured status (it's not)69.137.246.61 (talk) 20:18, 4 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Noticing a comment above, I agree the intro is simply too long. I skipped it, too long didn't read (TLDR) syndrome here.69.137.246.61 (talk) 20:24, 4 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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