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Wikipedia:Featured article review/Cortana (Halo)/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article review. Please do not modify it. Further comments should be made on the article's talk page or at Wikipedia talk:Featured article review. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was delisted by DrKay via FACBot (talk) 5:54, 3 August 2018 (UTC) [1].

Cortana (Halo)

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Notified: Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Video games

Review section

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I am nominating this featured article for review because I think it falls considerably short of FA standards, and personally I wouldn't pass it through GA in its current condition. I raised issue regarding it at WikiProject Video games and the two people who replied there both expressed concerns about the article. The original FA nominator, David Fuchs, has also been made aware of the listing via a discussion on the article's talk page. A commentator at Project video games raised concerns was about the plot length. The article was passed in 2008 when I can only presume standards were lower; I'd argue by today's standards it fails on FA criteria 1a, 1b and 1c. Specific issues listed below.

  • I think the article has too many fictional in-universe details. For example, why do we need to know that Master Chief wears 'MJOLNIR battle armor', and what does MJOLNIR even mean?
  • There's a lot of details about Cortana's appearance in the first novel; why aren't subsequent appearances given the same level of detail?
  • Cortana appears to play a minor role in Halo: Ghosts of Onyx, but this isn't mentioned at all. There's a lot of literature set in the Halo universe, and I'm not convinced this article summarises all her appearances in them adequately.
  • In the 'Character design' there's very little on the characters initial design.
  • Several things are introduced in the article without any background information; her voice actress appears out of nowhere (how did she land the job?). What is '343 Industries'? Who are the Forerunners?
  • I'm most concerned about the reception section though. It begins with the characters reception from the third game, rather than initial reception, and there's no coverage of the character from academic sources/journals even though plenty of these sources exist. There's an embarrassing quote farm with poor prose that focuses heavily on the character's sex appeal (Examples: "Part of Cortana's appeal has lain in her good looks ... [she is] the sixth most "disturbingly sexual game character").
  • There's a fair amount of inconsistency in reference formatting and even several bare URLs and a couple unreferenced sentences. Freikorp (talk) 07:20, 3 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
I'm not sure how to square your concerns about plot length when you're asking for more descriptions of minor appearances. As for your comments about coverage and references, perhaps you could link these plentiful sources? Otherwise the comment is less than helpful. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 03:59, 4 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
I mentioned somebody else had concerns about plot length just to give an indication on what others have said; my concerns about under-detail are entirely confined to the 'In other media' section.
  • This thesis comments on Cortana's technically nude appearance: [2]
  • This academic source comments on both Master Chief and Cortana's lack of sexuality: [3]
  • This one comments on Cortana's dialogue and emotional support: [4]
  • This thesis gives a very brief comment on her body type in comparison to other female video game characters [5]
  • This thesis comments on Cortana's personality, dialogue and flirtation with Master Chief: [6]
  • This thesis talks about Cortana's physical appearance and her relationship with Master Chief: [7]
  • This thesis questions why Cortana's appearance is sexualised and comments on the gender stereotyping between Cortana and Master Chief. It cites Cortana as an example of a character "drawn and designed to appeal to heteronormative standards of beauty, even when it does not make sense within the context of the game ... as a computer program Cortana could have taken any form but the game elected to make her adhere to the heteronormative ideal of an attractive, shapely woman. The interviews suggest this may be because of the lack of female representation behind the scenes and the lack of support and encouragement for women to join in the industry." [8]
  • Here's an interesting source about Cortana's nudity: [9] Anita Sarkeesian cites the source and the issue in one of her articles: [10]. Here's another quote from Sarkeesian about Cortana: [11]
I'm sure you can find more. If you don't have access to any of those sources I can email them to you. Freikorp (talk) 07:42, 4 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
I'll look a bit more into the authors, but none of those theses strike me as reliable sources per WP:SCHOLARSHIP. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 15:52, 4 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Even if all those academic sources fail WP:SCHOLARSHIP, the GamesRadar+ source about her nudity and Sarkeesian's comments on the issue should be used. Freikorp (talk) 14:35, 26 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
I've added both to the article. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 21:10, 26 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Some decent improvements were made to the article in December, and the bare URLs were formatted properly in early January, but there's been no significant improvements made since then. Many of the issues raised above remain. The article is better, but I still wouldn't even pass it through GAN without further improvements, including heavy modifications to the reception section. Freikorp (talk) 14:35, 26 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • The primary-sourced plot for a fictional character is twice as long as the Reception? Seems like a due weight issue. Also the Reception ¶ on Cortana's appearance no longer passes contemporary FA muster. If the listicles are worth mentioning at all (super low quality sources), they should be stacked into a summative statement. But is it even noteworthy that she was listed among the "top babes" in video games? We wouldn't put the same dubious accolade in a film star's biography—it would be rephrased as, "Video game journalists noted her character design for its sex appeal" or something more encyclopedic and stacked with several refs (only a few of the "best" instances needed). Other generalizations like "Cortana's return in Halo 5 was subject to mixed reception" are challengeable and should have immediate refs. As for the academic sources above, I wouldn't cite theses but mentions made in a scholarly journal would be more applicable. czar 11:35, 17 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
I'm open for trimming the section, but the idea that you cloud what sources actually say to 'sound' more encyclopedic isn't a great tack to take. Her sex appeal is a large part of the character's reception, trying to cloud the issue because of personal feelings on what "should" be covered is bias. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 13:47, 26 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Not sure where you're getting the sound/cloud stuff. Being ranked #1 supporting character by Cracked.com is a dubious accolade (nevermind that the source doesn't even make that claim). A listicle assertion such as this should be generalized proportionate to the source's weight. What noteworthy elaboration would we miss by stacking the six "lists of babes" refs as I had mentioned? If none, then was it really such a large part of her reception? The section appears to be much more about commentary on her in-game appearances, and on that point, shouldn't it address Halo 1–2 alongside its current coverage of 3–5? czar 01:02, 27 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
I've already stacked the lists. You're welcome to pull commentary for Halo 1 and 2 if you can find it, but there frankly isn't much of anything. That's why it's not in the article in the first place. It's extremely rare to find an review that actually mentions Cortana, much less provides some useful commentary beyond 'she's the voice in your armor'. Chalk it up to people not dwelling much on story in old reviews, I suppose. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 15:03, 27 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

FARC section

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Moving to get more input on the Reception section and other issues mentioned above. Nikkimaria (talk) 14:58, 17 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Delist. It's not a million miles off, but this article will likely need serious work to keep its shiny star. In addition to the concerns about the reception section, I'm also noticing some sourcing issues—"Cinema Blend" is explicitly listed as an unreliable source at WP:VG/S, this forum post is used to source the statement "The character model's face was based on a sculpture of Egyptian Queen Nefertiti", and there are multiple dead links. There are also several unsourced statements (and the massive in-universe plot summary). JOEBRO64 19:34, 27 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
User:TheJoebro64: The forum post is by a Bungie artist, it meets SPS criteria. Thanks for the update about Cinema Blend, I have removed the statement. Can you be useful and actually highlight what you think is unsourced? As for the plot summary, "massive" is an unhelpful qualifier. Explaining exactly how you think it is necessarily large to detail the character's appearances would be far more useful, not to mention actionable. I will double check the links, but dead links are and never have been a reason to delist an article per WP:FA?. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 22:20, 27 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
The unsourced statements I noticed were "Cortana's first appearance in the Halo franchise is in the novel Halo: The Fall of Reach, a prequel to the first Halo game" (this goes beyond what the primary source (the book) says and needs a secondary source to confirm it), "The assistant is also available on iOS and Android", "Despite mixed opinions of Halo 4's campaign as a whole", and "Cortana's return in Halo 5 was subject to mixed reception" (the last two are unsourced because they are generalizations that can be challenged, so they are required to have direct refs). As for the Appearances section, by "massive", I mean it goes into too much in-universe detail and is sourced only to primary sources. I'd trim details that aren't necessary to understanding the story, and also add a bit of analysis from secondary sources to the section. I think Doomfist and Joker (character) are good examples of pages that give basic descriptions of the characters and their backstories while balancing it with real-world facts and opinions. JOEBRO64 22:41, 27 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
That Fall of Reach is a prequel and the first appearance doesn't require a secondary source; the Fall of Reach released before Halo 1, and the book itself calls itself a prequel (including in big letters on the first printing "the official prequel to the explosive Xbox™ game!" etc.) I've sourced the assistant mention, I'll see about directly citing the reception lines or rewording the starts of those paragraphs.
As for the appearances section, I'm going to need more specific guidance. It summarizes what the character does in each game in a paragraph. Doomfist and the Joker are not great comparisons because one is a character in a single game with a paper-thin plot and the other is a character of repetitious comic arcs for decades. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 00:37, 28 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Plot: Delves too far into individual appearances instead of just providing an overview of her role. This section should be easily sourced to reviews and other secondary source summaries of its plot (game guides even, as a last resort). This would help focus its contents from going off into the weeds and general story summary.
  • Background needs more out-of-universe tweaking. The first paragraph of the body doesn't denote that she's fictional or a character.
  • The Reception still drags out basic points. Lots of periodicals are mentioned inline by name when the sentiment could be generalized without mentioning them.
  • I have serious reservations that the "top 10 babes" listicles are worthy of encyclopedic mention at all, nevertheless as evidence that Cortana has "been recognized for her sex appeal". I click through and there's just zero content. If we removed the refs with insubstantial mentions from that sentence, I don't think that sentence would even be justified. If this is an important claim, is there really no other source that says it succinctly, directly?
  • Topic sentences like "Despite mixed opinions of Halo 4's campaign as a whole, Cortana and her story was often considered a strong point of the game." need immediate refs, esp. if making new claims not cited in the rest of the paragraph
  • Most of the Reception is built around quoting directly from reviewers. Since the majority of those quotes are more for style than essential detail, they detract from whatever the paragraph is supposed to say, especially when done in every sentence. If each sentence was paraphrased without regard to the pull quotes, the section would be half its length.
  • Which brings us to: how much is the Reception about Cortana anyway? This is commentary on par with any major character role in any game—it's the type of stuff than can be summatively stated in a section of a "List of Halo characters" but no Reception source appears to call out the character as independently notable from the series.
  • Overquoting in the Character design section
  • Namedropping of non-notable individuals in the Reception without explaining why their names are important to know
  • No discussion on how the personality aspects of the character translate into the voice assistant? [12]
  • The |publisher= field is redundant for all the {{cite web}} instances. That field was designed for book publishers. The |work= field alone is sufficient almost always, especially if the work is a linked entity with its own article.
That's a taste without even touching whether the prose is engaging (once "brilliant") and the sources are reliably appropriate for FA-level consideration. But that's all the time I have for this right now. czar 17:17, 5 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Delist, unfortunately, for reasons mentioned in my nomination. I was hoping the nomination would result in all the issues being addressed, though most of them remain; the article has received no improvements for over a month now. Freikorp (talk) 22:16, 5 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
    • Shockingly, things don't get edited when you never respond to my points. Truly hard to understand. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 02:16, 6 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
      • The only post you directed at me was one asking to point out academic sources, and I gave a detailed response. You haven't asked me anything else. I provided a detailed list of issues with the article over five months ago and you still haven't replied to most of them or made any attempt to address the overwhelming majority of the issues. Five months. Five months and you couldn't even take the two minutes to explain something simple like what 'MJOLNIR' means. Don't blame me for your article losing its status. I'm taking this discussion off my watch list as I don't think anything constructive is going to come out of it. Freikorp (talk) 02:29, 6 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Delist for all the reasons already discussed. It would take a lot of work to get this up to current FA standards. Specifically, it feels like the reception section is not really on point, as it feels like the examples given are excerpts of reviews of the game and are not really touching on response to Cortana as a character. The character design section is also out of balance, as there is more about minor changes to the character in later games in the series than there is on creating the character in the first place. Also, as described the Cortana Letters promotional campaign appears to have little to do with the character. Because of the role she served in the Halo story, her name was attached to this campaign, but the character herself does not appear to be integral to it. Right now, this feels less like an article and more like a group of random mentions of the character that do not paint a coherent picture of the subject. Indrian (talk) 05:54, 6 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
More substantiative discussion of the genesis of the character simply doesn't exist. You're asking for a version of the article that cannot be created from available sources. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 23:49, 6 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Then perhaps there aren't sufficient sources available to create an FA-quality article about the subject. Popcornduff (talk) 14:19, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
FA criteria has no such requirements. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 16:02, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
There are countless obscure video games (to pick one topic alone) you'd struggle to find sources sufficient to write about in any depth at all, let alone to FA quality. I'm not saying Cortana is one of them - but it's reasonable to observe gaps in articles, whether they can be filled or not. Popcornduff (talk) 16:26, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Delist given the issues already described above (primarily echoing czar's comments in particular). However, I believe that this article could be substantially revised and put through the FAC process again to reach FA quality. It would just take a substantial amount of work to get there first. I can tell that a lot of work has been put into this article so hopefully it can be further improved in the future. Aoba47 (talk) 02:27, 16 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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