Quick oppose - I don't have the time right now to list in detail the issues, and will do so as soon as I get the time to, but I'm opposing on prose. As seems to be usual each time one of these Asian medal lists come up, there's tons of grammar and sentence structure issues lying around. Strange Passerby (talk • cont) 14:50, 14 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- I'm not eloquent in English so many times do mistakes like this, give me some time for copy editing. Other than that, did you find any other major issue? — Bill william comptonTalk 15:09, 14 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- With all due respect, the "time for copy editing" is before you come to FLC. As I said, I'll list in more detail my objections when I get around to doing so and when time allows. Strange Passerby (talk • cont) 15:11, 14 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Done – ce is finished, you may take a look there. I'll never repeat this mistake in future. — Bill william comptonTalk 20:00, 14 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Comments— Strange Passerby (talk • cont) 10:21, 15 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- A total of 6,572 athletes—4,605 males and 1,967 females "Men" and "women" sound better.
- Done
- all 44 member-nations Remove the hyphen.
- Done
- East Timor, newest member of the OCA—becoming independent on May 20, 2002 from Indonesia—made its debut Too much going on in this bit.
- Then please specifically mention.
- Quite simply, there is too much information there you are trying to cram in. I don't think you need to note that it became independent, merely mentioning it was the newest OCA member is quite enough. Strange Passerby (talk • cont) 07:59, 23 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Done
- North Korea competed for the first time in an international sporting event hosted by South Korea (both nations marched together at the opening ceremony with a Korean Unification Flag depicting the Korean Peninsula as United Korea). The bit in parenthesis is unrelated to the number of OCA member nations competing. Split it out into its own sentence.
- Done
- improved their position in the general medal table compared with the 1998 Asian Games Compared to?
- Done
- Note (a) needs a rewrite. I have no idea what it's supposed to mean.
- Done, if still need rewrite then I may remove it at all, because sentence is itself obvious.
- I agree that the note should be removed. If only eight nations improved, clearly the rest did not. Strange Passerby (talk • cont) 07:59, 23 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Done
- Done
- Athletes from China won the most ... Redundant: we already know China topped the medal table from the previous sentence. Perhaps combine this sentence with the previous one.
- Done
- Competitors from the host nation, South Korea Redundant: you've already mentioned that South Korea hosted the games.
- Done
- South Korea won 96 gold medals, 80 silver medals and a total of 260 medals, finished second on the medal table. How about "South Korea also won .... for a total of 260 medals, finishing second..."?
- Done
- In men's artistic gymnastics, a three-way tie for gold medal Either "for gold" or "for the gold medal", but not "for gold medal".
- Done
- ; a tie for silver medal in the individual all-around Missing "and".
- Done
- In women's artistic gymnastics, ties for gold medal Per above.
- Done
- China and Taiwan shared the silver. The issue here should be obvious.
- Done
- Liu Xiang from China won a gold medal in the 110 meters hurdles. 110–meter hurdles.
- Done
- Misplaced endash. Strange Passerby (talk • cont) 07:59, 23 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Done Oops!
- Japanese athlete Koji Murofushi won a gold medal in the hammer-throw event. Extraneous hyphen.
- Done
- This is the dealbreaker for me right now: close paraphrasing in the first paragraph relating to medal changes. Compare:
- Article: Lebanese bodybuilder Youssef El-Zein was stripped of his bronze medal after he refused to undergo a drug test.
- Source: A Lebanese bodybuilder has been stripped of his Asian Games bronze medal after refusing to take a dope test
- As far as I'm concerned, there are other ways to express that sentence without close paraphrasing. I suspect close paraphrasing may have occurred in the subsequent paragraphs about the Indian runner as well, although there the similarities (while they exist) are less damning for me to present as evidence of copyvio.
- Don't make this type of allegations. There is no "close paraphrasing", this is my writing style, check other related articles written by me. But if it seems paraphrasing to you then I just can say that it wasn't intended. For your satisfaction I've tried to rephrase the sentence.
- I'd prefer no similarity to the original at all. How about "For not submitting to a drugs test, bodybuilding bronze medalist Youssef El-Zein of Lebanon was relieved of his medal." Strange Passerby (talk • cont) 07:59, 23 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Done
- the bronze medal in the +91 kg category went to Choi Jae-Duck +90 kg or +91 kg?
- Done
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