Comments from Mm40 (talk). I've told myself that I would review so this, so here I finally am!
- Lead
- It should probably be explicitly stated (to avoid confusion with drafts in other sports, where players without teams are taken) that employees are taken from other brands and are not "rookies", so to speak
- "was available on the Internet, at WWE's official website" → "was available on WWE's official website"; I think it's clear that their website is on the Internet
- "in Richmond Coliseum in Richmond, Virginia" – the "in <noun> in <noun>" structure sounds a bit odd. Perhaps change the first "in" to "at"
- Should "draft" be capitalized here: "During the production of the draft"
- "authority figure characters" in a bit unclear; how 'bout "guest hosts were portrayed as figures of authority on Raw"?
- Last sentence of the first paragraph: you don't need both "however" and "actually"
- Reference needed for the date of ECW's disbandment
- "2010 featured multiple people drafted in one pick" – you can be specific and say exactly how many picks featured multiple selections
- "four each by Raw and SmackDown" can be reworded as "four from each brand"
- "who came to Raw in the Supplemental Draft" – you should include that Singh was drafted with The Great Khali
- Throughout the article, you use the plural when referring to The Hart Dynasy (see also note F), but I think singular verbs should be used. Our article on them uses singular, and it's the same as "the Smith family"; although it's multiple people, the family is only one thing.
- The article uses the instances singularly because it is talking about all 3 members as a stable (3 or more people in a group). In this article, however, it is being used to refer to the tag team (the two wrestlers Tyson and DH) because they hold the tag team championships. In professional wrestling they refer to tag teams plurally because they are the "Unified WWE Tag Team Champions" not "Unified WWE Tag Team Champion", because both wrestlers are champions. (Natalya is a Diva and b/c the titles are for two wrestlers she isn't considered a champion).--Truco 503 17:52, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Background
- Because of the semi-colon, you can take out the "with" before "the ECW brand additionally"
- Wasn't ECW involved between 2006 and 2009?
- "Since its
original inception" – what other inception's have their been?
- "Since its original inception, annual drafts have followed since" – "since" is used twice
- "and
to refresh the roster" – you already use "to", so it's clear that this is a purpose. Also, shouldn't it be "rosters" because two rosters are involved?
- Roster selections
- Why is Divas linked but Superstar isn't?
- Picky, but I think the reference should go after "Divas" in the first sentence.
- Is there a comma missing before "TitanTron"?
- No because the sentence is reading how the computerized system, which so happened to appear on the titantron, randomly selected the wrestlers.--Truco 503 17:52, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- "1 Diva–only draft pick" – there should be a hyphen, not an endash
- In Match number 3, why are only two members of the team listed as winners? This probably warrants a note.
- Note C: "drafted earlier in the draft" sounds a bit odd
- In the "Selections" and "Supplemental Draft" tables, the "Employee" column has one quotation mark around it
- Response and effects
- I think the header would sound better as "Response and aftermath"
- "who switched brands
on that night"
- "in combat with new Superstars" – not all of them are male, so would it be "new competitors" or something similar?
- "to previous drafts, this
draft was the"
- "on the television ratings for WWE's programming" → "on WWE's television ratings"
- I don't think "Although not having" is grammatically correct; I suggest "Despite not having"
- "during the week of the draft were consistent" – should "draft" be capitalized?
- Twice in the second paragraph, I think "SmackDown" should be "SmackDown!, with the exclamation point
- References
- Reference 1 has a date of publication
- Reference 2: the title doesn't match and the date written you give is incorrect
- In reference 3, can you remove the terms to be highlighted from the URL?
- No because the only way to have found that page was through those highlighted terms, unless you know of a way, I would be more than happy to change it. For real though, the information is still there so I don't see how the highlights take away from it.--Truco 503 17:52, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- You format the citations to WWE Corporate three different ways (5 vs. 6/7 vs. 9)
- In reference 9, I think you're missing a quotation mark before "our"
- The title of reference 11 shouldn't be in italics
- Reference 15 is formatted differently from all the other WV citations
- Change to curly quotes in ref 16's title to normal quotes (I'm sorry, curly things just really annoy me)
Overall, a nice article; all I have are nitpicks. Just another suggestion: I think another image can be added next to the "Selections" table. Anyway, once my OCD is satisfied, I'll gladly support. Cheers, Mm40 (talk) 02:35, 25 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks for the review, I will get to this tomorrow.--Truco 503 02:26, 26 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Tomorrow, Monday.--Truco 503 03:17, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Everything addressed, but those where I commented.--Truco 503 17:54, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
|